How can men not hate women when men are the ones doing all the work?

[Anonymous]

1. Suppose we walk up to you, well if you're with your friends and even if you like us we have to make sure that your friends like us too, or they will pull you away. Not to mention its pretty much a given that MOST men approach women. Not the other way around. If we waited for women to approach us, we might as well wait for santa claus to come down our chimneys.

2. We have to plan the date and have it be different than other guys you've been with. Or be forgotten with the other men she dates, you're just "another guy".

Dinner and a movie sucks. Everyone is self conscious about eating in-front of people. An in a movie you can't talk to each other, and nothing says getting to know you better than that ;/

3. If you're the type of man that women want then you're going out on at least a different woman every other day. And are you PAYING for these women? If you are, then you're a sucker, and if your not then there's a good chance at least SOME of those women re going to call you cheap.

4. Sex? well... you have the duty to seduce her. Not the other way around. You have been slated with the responsibility of making the first kiss attempt. Congrats you also have to do it smoothly or risk getting judged again, just like you're being judged since the moment you walked up to her. Nothing says creepy like kissing a woman when you haven't even touched her hand.

The sneak attack kiss isn't attractive. But so what, if women did ANYTHING this sh*t would not matter.

5. You have to call her, she won't call you. How often have you heard "i don't call boys". Sure you can flip the script and say "i don't call girls" But you know how well that works? Not very well I've tried it. You might as well stick your d*** in a blender cause you won't need it anymore.

6. Whens the last time you heard a man say, "oh gee I have to be romanced into getting into the sexual mood."

Which only means that while she can get you off by just lying there its your job to "perform" sexually.

And again she gets to judge you.

A woman once told me that "dating is like driving a car, its the mans job to push on he accelerator and its he woman's job to tell you when to brake."

The only thing I could think of is how everyone loves back seat drivers.

:/

I love being judged don't you?

[kholland65]

Some of your examples maybe aren't the greatest, but in essence I agree with your post.

The problem is women are always self conscious and naturally tougher on themselves them men are on them. Like women care about how other women dress more than how men care about how women dress. Women put more emphasis on the importance of makeup than men do. If you look at this site alone, you can see how women get bent out of shape over things that us men could care less about. What this means is, while they may realize that men have our own burdens, they feel that they have just as much if not more. But those burdens are self created and are a fallacy.

Women take these things for granted and oddly enough, would many times gladly switch roles because like all aspects of life, society and more specifically women, tend to trivialize male problems or believe they don't exist. As they say, in today's world, the white American male is the most oppressed ethnic group. We are given the least amount of slack and have the highest expectations. We have no crutch to fall back on like women do.

Either that or women tend to create double standards that really aren't there. This is a tendency that many minority groups or oppressed groups latch and hold onto so that they may always have an excuse in there back pocket to justify their behavior to prove why they deserve special treatment. For example, women believe that when it comes to sexuality there is a double standard. That only women are criticized for being promiscuous. However, this isn't the case. Men just as well as women, are looked down upon for being overly promiscuous. The guy is a player or a manwhore and men and women a like do not like people who act in such ways. But once again, women will claim that while this might be true, its still not as bad for men, which I find convenient.

Maybe women don't have it easier, but they sure as hell don't have it harder, especially when it comes to dating. Ladies, you know as well as we do that you are the more complex gender, men are all the same and quite simple (generally speaking). That being said, lucky you that you are given the task of deciphering the easy gender and us men the harder of the genders. Why do you think men spend tons of money and time both writing and reading books about women, where the other side of the coin pales in comparison. Because men are easy. We are no mystery. A monkey can figure out what guys like, what turns them on, how to get us off sexually, etc. and at the end of the day, like the original poster said, its how dating works. It's courtship. Men pick a girl and we are expected to impress her and prove to her we are a worthy mate. She is the gate keeper, not the other way around. Men line up to please a women while she just hits the next button until she finds one she likes. So I would definitely say women have it easier. I could go on all day about this and I'm running out of space so I'll end my rant, but yes, I agree.

[Asker]

"Like women care about how other women dress more than how men care about how women dress. Women put more emphasis on the importance of makeup than men do. "

Its much harder to convey confidence through actions and body language than it is to say... put on a hat.

[kholland65]

The other way to look at it is that men have to put more work into getting a girlfriend. A women can have no idea how to date but still get a boyfriend. Especially if she is attractive. You can be the coolest kid on the block and be attractive, but if you are a guy, you still must be a skilled dater (for lack of a better term) if you want to land a girlfriend. We're the hunters who must spend time knowing our pray. Women just graze and wait to be shot.

[kholland65]

Oh and in case you're a bit confused by my answer. The point I was making with this post is why women will never believe they have easier lives. At least most won't. I actually asked my sister the question "do women have it tougher than men". Her response "f*** no". She's 22 btw.

[Asker]

". You can be the coolest kid on the block and be attractive, but if you are a guy, you still must be a skilled dater (for lack of a better term) if you want to land a girlfriend. "

Exactly.

You know even brad pitt is self conscious and gets approach anxiety. People like that can't talk to a strange woman they find attractive, they have people that hook them up for them.

Or they meet on a set of a movie.

[kholland65]

Women seem to never understand how tough and awkward it can be to simply talk to a stranger, regardless if she is an attractive women or not. Even the same gender can be awkward so imagine what its like talking to someone attractive and of the opposite gender. Again, women trivialize this problem. They ask question on this site all the time about "why won't this guy just come talk to me who has been checking me out". They just don't get it because they've never had to approach.

[Asker]

its kind of funny really, they ask the question... "why won't this guy come and talk to me?" As if the thought of her actually going over to talk to him is so out of the question that it doesn't even register in their brains.

[kholland65]

That's always my response. Why don't you go talk to him then. Girls have just been lead to believe that its against the rules and makes them look bad. me and my parents had this convo and my mom actually said she thought it was bad and made the girl look desperate. Granted she's old fashioned and in her 50's but so is my dad and he told her she was wrong, that guys don't think that way about a girl who approaches them, as long as she doesn't do it like a stripper would of course.

[Asker]

Yes all I ask is to contribute something. At least make it easier for men to approach. This half a second glance thing doesn't work. No man is going to assume a girl likes them from that.

Ive been approached a ton of times, nearly every single day. As long as she's not propositioning me for sex I assume she's not a whore.

[ben890]

Then don't date that type of woman. Don't do things you don't want to do. Simple as that. If everyone followed this approach, we wouldn't have such big gender role problems.

To answer JUST the title question, men can not hate women by realizing that plenty of women aren't like that. I always hear guys complain about girls who say things like, "all guys are jerks," but then guys turn around and make generalizations about women, too.

[Freetobe007]

I had a lovely answer prepared for you, but I'm not sharing it for the simple fact that it's so hypocritical for you to show up here expressing such a bold opinion, cowering behind anon, yet blocking anon users.

[Asker]

Well thank you for judging me. Another typical response from a woman.

Like I said I love being judged.

Thanks again for proving my point.

[Freetobe007]

lol, it's clear that you came here to argue and you don't even have the balls to do it without speaking anonymously :) lol, bye.

[Asker]

And she piles it on.

Its clear to me that she didn't have "a lovely answer".

Its for this reason why I check the box "no anon answers"

So that I can block people like this.

[Freetobe007]

lol, how fair :P now I see why you can't get a girl.

[Freetobe007]

I did have a good answer, but I'm not typing it all out for some cowardly a**hole who's not worthy. Go ahead and block me. You're so ballsless that you'll probably continue to talk sh*t when I can't reply. LOL what a joke!

[Asker]

If you noticed I go out with a different girl every other day, and the cost of that is one of the problems.

But again, thanks for making me qualify myself and judging me again.

[Asker]

My question for you is why are you taking this so personally?

Why do you feel the need to attack me?

[Freetobe007]

because I'm tired of guys coming here and judgin women then lashing out at us GAG girls who haven't done sh*t to you. You're such a hypocrite; you're entire post is 100% judgment.

[Asker]

I'm being reactive to the judgments of women. Not to you personally.

You appear to attack me personally.

[Asker]

A person who is being mistreated has every right to judge the person who mistreats them.

[Freetobe007]

sorry, maybe I'm just on the defense because there are so many times where I have to defend girls here against guys who like to blame their problems with females on everrrrry girl and take it out on girls at GAG.

Okay, whatever, judge the person who mistreated you but that person was not me so don't go judging me when you don't even know who I am

[Belgie]

Women aren't doing all the work.

Your statements are basically wrong.

I recognise the work women do, and I know what is reasonably expected of them.

I don't expect them to be men or to do the mans role, so I don't have reason to hate them.

[Asker]

What kind of work do women do in the dating world. This is the world I'm talking about.

[Hades]

You don't have to do any of that BS. Just boycott the entire sexist system, that's what I'm doing until I emigrate. That woman sounds like a true sexist.

[Asker]

HA

[Hades]

Yep. The only power they have over you is the power you give them.

Can't wait for that artificial womb to be completed!

[Moloch]

That's all true. However, expressing these opinions to the outside world will do you no good, because no woman wants to bang a guy that thinks like that. Just make women nod their heads and you're good to go.

[nolovenopain13]

no one is making you do anything it's all on you, if you don't like it then don't do it simple as.

[Asker]

Everyone is made to feel pain when someone punches them in the face.

Just like I'm made to hate women when I date them.

So I guess stop getting punched in the face?

Ok I will.

[nolovenopain13]

Not all females are like that.

[Asker]

Again, no man is going to follow guidelines for 1% of women.

You might as well expect me to cut off both my legs to attract women who love amputees.

[kholland65]

The QA has a point. That's like saying, you don't have to pay for the date. Your right, we don't. But then the consequence is we'll likely never have a girlfriend lol.

[Hades]

NAWALT

[nolovenopain13]

If you gonna throw money around to get/keep a girl then something is wrong. Just saying.

[Asker]

I already mentioned that if you're paying for all those dates your a sucker and if you're not there's always going to be some women that call you cheap.

[nolovenopain13]

Women who expect you to pay for everything are money grabbing :Os. Yep men are great at going for them ones.

[HateBeingSingleAspie]

sometimes I even hate my own mom, wish my mom aborted me as a fetus sometimes

[moviedude714]

because then we men get labelled mangina's, which pisses me off

[selfishstars]

None of this describes me.

[goflipaburger]

Or me.

[sammy_31]

Wow did some girl piss you off? lol

[Asker]

Yes. Every single one.

Paying for dates every other day for different women is expensive. Especially when most women are both boring while they sit there on top of judging you.

[sammy_31]

aww sorry to hear that some girls like to be dependent with guys :/ I think it's totally fine if a girl plans out a date too nothing wrong with that but most won't.

[Asker]

Thats right, and no one plans their life on doing what 1% of women do.

Men might as well cut off both of their legs just to attract women who love amputees.

And since you can't have 2 leaders leading, we have to be the ones leading because we can't depend on any of you to make the decisions. Because chances are just as likely that I'm going to be struck by lighting twice while riding a unicorn.

[sammy_31]

wow, well I'm not her to piss you off or argue so yeah. Sorry to know that those females upset you.

[kholland65]

Sammy you proved his point by the way by saying you prefer to depend on a guy. That's fine if you do, just at least recognize then that you have the easier role.

[sammy_31]

I don't like to depend on a guy. It's nice if they do things but I'm not asking them to or force them.

[sammy_31]

I worded it wrong. Some girls like to be dependent on guys, but NOT ME. I should have typed that in. I can do things on my own, pay my own stuff or a guys I don't mind. I'm not dependent.

[defytraditiongirl]

you've been running into the wrong women then