Breaking the touch barrier during dating?

im pretty new to dating..and I've heard a lot about guys breaking the touch barrier if they are interested.

i recently went out on a third date with a guy, and I've noticed he doesn't really do that stuff (touching the arm, guiding you by touching your lower back etc.). the only things we have done are good night hugs, and on once occasion he asked me to feel his shoulders because they felt tight (lol).

what are some ways in which I can further break this barrier? or what are some signs that he wants to , but is maybe hesitant or afraid ot?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Have you tried touching him?

    We guys can feel terrified about how a woman is going to react to our touch and so we wait for the MOST obvious signs you can send us.

    And the fastest, most OBVIOUS sign, is for you to touch us!

    Like... feeling holding our arm when we walk side by side... like your hands are caressing or hugging our upper arms.

    Or giving us a smooth, slow, and fake palm reading as an excuse to touch hands.

    Or when we tell you a terrible joke you can playfully pat our arms with your hand... like swat or a hit.

    Or, if you like our shirt you can slowly, sensually glide your hand over the shirt, over our chest, while saying, "Wow, I love this shirt... you look so good in it."

    Or you can smell our cologne by saying, "Hey, can I smell your cologne?" then leaning so that your chest touches ours, and your nose softly touches our neck... then while leaning in you can say, in a hot breath, into our ear, "Hmmm... you smell so good."

    Trust me... he'll notice EVERY time you touch him. And it'll likely drive him nuts. So find every excuse to touch him.

    Play mini golf and make up rules, like, he has to piggy back you to the next hole. And if someone get's a hole-in-one they win a kiss!

    If you break the touch barrier more, so will he.

    ~ Robby

    My blog ( link )


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What Guys Said 6

  • Wear a skirt on your next date, and after a little walk, make out you have cramp in your thigh, let him know he needs to massage it for it to go, make out its really painful, and after a couple of seconds of him rubbing it, express relief that its working and your no longer in as much pain, but he can't stop yet as your enjoying it, this will break any barriers he has of touching you, he will enjoy touching you after this, but the pain has got to be high up the thigh, obviously only as high as your comfortable with, good luck,x

  • It's more of a personal space invasion than an actual touch barrier that you want. Next time you hug him hold it for a little longer and press your body against his. When sitting with him try sitting right next to him as if you're right on top of him. You can also suggest playing games where touching is required (e.g palm reading or massaging)

  • He's been on 3 dates with you, of course he's interested. Just kiss him, that ought to set the ball rolling.

  • If he doesn't break the touch barrier it just an odd way of showing that he respects you a little. some times you just have to break it first I suggest touch in his hands if he pulls away he's just nervous.

    Female hands feel great anywhere, so him asking you to feel his shoulders is a way of relesing his tension. I would suggest rubing his shoulders and giveing him a hug from time to time more frequently. I'm guessing that you quite nervous too, so I'm going to guess that you don't date a lot.

    Step one to break your nervous habits is to relax, Breaking the touch barrier one of the best ways to do this. Hold hands hug more often, If you want to hug him He Definently wants to hug you back. if your feeling nervous, breath!

    Breaking the touch barrier for guys is like trying to complete a rubix cube. you have no Idea where to start. what going through his mind likely sounds something like this...

    "what do I touch first face, hair, hands, ect"

    When guys are around beautiful women they REALLY don't want to loose them so there reluctant to do any thing that would create a bad relation ship between them. What I'm saying is he doesn't know what to do as far as touching goes you've got to help him, even if you don't know. You both have to discover what you're comfertable with as far as touching goes. It will take time but one of you has to be brave. and in this case it might as well be you. Trust me he is into you, I used to be the same way, and you remind me of my first girlfriend.

    • Agreed the whole respect thing dampered my relationship for a couple of years... but each couple is different in how they touch, find a unique way that individualizes you both as a couple

  • I have that problem too. My girlfriend needs to initiate the physical contact. I don't know why. I know that I have mild psychological problems. However, I am yet to find the description of this limitation of mine in self-help literature.

    I think it's safe for a girlfriend to do it. Just see how he reacts. If you feel that there is no danger, It's fine.

    If he asked to feel his shoulders, it may be a sign that he is interested but embarrassed. My case is worse, I can't even do that.

  • Lightly touch his arm when he says something funny. If he doesn't pull away then he is just shy. If he does then he is not interested.


What Girls Said 2

  • A lot of guys are shy when it comes to stuff such as that. He might not be entirely sure of how interested you are in him. Many guys appreciate the girl making a move in situations like this because it takes the pressure off of them. Touch him in not obvious ways, just a light stroke on his arm or a playful shove on his shoulder. Send him signals that you are into him, and if he reciprocates then you are on the right track.

  • I'm in the same boat as you different age for me but same age for him. That alone adds to the awkwardness. But I've noticed he started doing things like poking my ribs or tickling me, that lead to tickle fights that lead to touching bare skin in what's normally unexposed areas. Now we're at the point of giving each other massages while watching movies at home. Just don't take as long as it did for us. This whole process took us 3 years and I'd wish I'd had the nerve to give him the right signals 2 years ago. So try playing around with him, poking his ribs or like the comment above lightly run your had across he chest if he pulls back just slow down a little. If not... wait some and try tickling him in a playful way. Once you get to a certain point things will start moving faster