How often does your significant other go out without you?

[ManWhoDropsTheBall]

What are the rules you two have set? Do you go out at night without your SO often?

I am wondering this, because I get nervous about my girlfriend being out without me, and someone else swooping in and influencing her out of my reach.

[Nicci]

Listen, the number one cause of relationships breaking up is one person being insecure about what the other is doing, if you let that insecure dominate you then your relationship has no future.

I absolutely believe that for a relationship to work it needs for 1. Both people to trust the other, 2. Space from each other.

If you're together all the time that can make minor problems into big problems. Honestly, you should be thankful you don't have a clingy girlfriend who wants to be together all the time as I think those type of relationships rarely work out.

Trust her or if you can't then why are you in a relationship together in the first place?

[ManWhoDropsTheBall]

There is so much about her that I truly appreciate. I just don't know where to draw the line sometimes on my insecurities. We had one rough patch during our first month of talking to each other when she danced with another guy at a club she invited me too, but since we started dating things have overall been good. We communicate well, I simply get afraid of a situation occurring that I could prevent. I am not a control freak, and this is one reason why I asked the question. To help me understand

[ManWhoDropsTheBall]

whether some of my current train of thought would be considered too controlling. I want to know how your relationship is? Do you go out often without your SO? Does your SO go out often without you? Would you be concerned if they did? etc...

[Nicci]

I'm not currently in a relationship, but when I was with my exs then I had no problem with them going out on their own, infact I encouraged it. It doesn't even have to be often, but you need space from each other.

If you let your insecurities get the best of you, you could ruin your relationship.

[ManWhoDropsTheBall]

Thank you very much so far for the feedback. I understand that insecurities could be the end of this. I really want to maintain what I have between her and not let some thoughts fester up as they have the past two weeks.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't worry about. If you are a good boyfriend, then she has no reason to go for someone else.

The only reason someone was able to 'swoop' in and take me from my ex is because he never wanted to spend time with me. He only wanted to spend time with me when he had nothing better to do. Literally, we only saw each other 3 or 4 times a month and we lived 15 minutes apart. I was always willing to make time for him but he wasn't willing to do the same for me. It made me feel like sh*t. So it was easy for someone else to grab my attention but if you two have a healthy relationship then chances are it won't happen to you.

[ManWhoDropsTheBall]

Thanks for the response! Why did you choose to stick with your ex at the time when he wasn't giving you what you wanted? And lastly how long had you been dating your ex at the time?

[Opinion Owner]

I liked him and things were great in the beginning. I was hoping that if I let him know how I felt and I did a few times, he would realize how his behavior was making me feel. I realized he did not care so I left. I did not cheat on him FYI. It was just that my ex from before started talking to me again and even though we didn't meet or cross any lines and I made him aware that I had a boyfriend, he was always there for me. My boyfriend wasn't.

[ManWhoDropsTheBall]

Thanks for the positive response!

[RoxyKAy]

That's a normal feeling to have, and it's more from our leftover animal instincts. It's not necessarily a sign of mistrust.

My boyfriend and I go out without each other as often as we want, but we do have a rule that if we hang out with a member of the opposite gender alone we won't do a dating-ish activity.

[Agent_Mouse]

Don't you trust your girlfriend?

[ManWhoDropsTheBall]

I have my moments. So you have no answer to my question?

[Agent_Mouse]

Well, if you don't trust her enough to have no worries when she's out without you, then there's something going wrong in your relationship. Though I don't know, maybe you haven't been together that long yet. And what do you mean by "someone else INFLUENCING" her?

[ManWhoDropsTheBall]

You still haven't answered what you and your girlfriend have agreed upon as far as going out.

I have natural fears of her going out and being influenced by her friends or someone to do something she would regret. It is a natural train of thought and hard foresight on my end. I relied on the help of GAG to begin dating her and not live up to the message my username states. I have dropped the ball on potential relationships in the past, and lately I've had mixed feelings that are unwarranted tow

[ManWhoDropsTheBall]

ards her. I simply am looking for further advice regarding dating, so I don't make a rash decision that will hurt her. This is my first relationship, and it isn't worth it to me to hurt someone due to poor judgment. I seek your advice as well as the rest of GAG for what you have established in your relationship to avoid any conflict regarding going out.

[Agent_Mouse]

My answer is simpel...in a relationship it should not be a problem for both of them to go out without each other from time to time. My girlfriend did, I did. What's the big deal? You should know best whether she is faithful or not or whether she might do something else stupid. If you truly think she might do anything that would hurt you or herself, then there's definitely something going wrong in your relationship.

[ManWhoDropsTheBall]

Thanks for your feedback so far! I don't think my girlfriend would do something to intentionally hurt me. I fear the people she is around might lead into a problem. I understand this is a problem I'm creating that's why I appreciate everyones effort to reply. What do you suggest I should consider?

[Agent_Mouse]

But even if those people came directly from hell, is your girlfriend's will so weak, or what? I mean, she's an adutl woman, right? So you'll HAVE TO trust in her that she won't do anything bad. Is she as paranoid as you when it comes to you going out without her?

I'd suggest you to have a talk with her and tell her your concerns. And definitely tell her you don't like her friends. Cause that's a problem too.

[ManWhoDropsTheBall]

Thanks for your advice regarding this!

[Agent_Mouse]

You're welcome!