Why do girls become distant??

Gonna try to make this short as possible

I meet a girl who is 22yrs old and I'm 25 (very religious but she still likes to go out drinking)

We begin texting and chatting everyday followed by hanging out

She tells me she doesn't want a relationship but she is very interested in me and wants to get to know me

She begins getting comfortable around me and starts calling me babe,baby, love and starts breaking that physical barrier around me and leaning her head on my shoulder

We're both shy so we never held hands or kissed during the dinner and movie dates

She begins to joke with me how someday I will marry her

Out of the blue I notice the texting starts to stall and she starts becoming distant so I say to myself ("Maybe I need to step it up as a man and escalate things with her") so we go on our 10th date and I hold her hand and kiss her at the end of the night and she actually kissed me back

But after that kiss she becomes way more distant than ever and now we rarely text at all and haven't gone out in 2 weeks

I text her about it and tell her I notice she is being distant and ask her if I did something wrong and she goes on to explain to me how she noticed I was falling in love and she doesn't want to hurt me because she feels she isn't at that level yet and doesn't want to lead me on and tells me "It's not because of you because I'm sure you would make a great boyfriend but it's because of me I want to do things when I'm ready for it"

So I give her space and stop texting her and seeing her and after 5 days went by she text me again "Hey good morning! how are you?"

I reply with short answers and no longer flirt with her.

What should I do?

Should I ignore her text?

Why did she seemed so into me and freaked out in the end when I expressed my feelings for her?

Can a girl lose interest in a guy overnight?

What's my best chance besides "Moving on" to get her back?


Most Helpful Girl

  • No, I am very religious myself. There is probably more to that story. She sounds VERY interested in you actually. She can't stand not to talk to you or not hearing from you. Be patient with her, she wants to start REALLY slow. If you are the guy for her, you would wait, but continue friend zoning her until she is ready. Do not ignore her texts, but limit them. Keep her guessing, make her want/wait. Tease her a bit. I had that similar case myself and It took me 7 months before I actually agreed to a date with someone. I wanted to get to know him BEFORE I said yes to a date. I wanted to start as friends first. We then came to be close friends then best friends. I made sure I understood what I was feeling. I like to analyze what I am feeling and meditate. I asked myself during those 7 months: Do I like him? Do I love him? But as what, a brother or is he datable? Is he more like a friend to me? Then as I realized I couldn't go a day or hour without talking to him, I knew I wanted/needed him. Til this day, he is the one <3 Hope this helps

    • How do I tease her just a little? I don't know if you guys are right but I feel as if she is no longer interested... She no longer ask me to go out or no longer says good morning and good night.. She told me she doesn't want a relationship and that once I kissed her it proved to her that I liked her more than she thought she she told me her instinct was to back off because she cares about me and doesn't want to hurt me...

      But now it seems every 4 or 5 days she sends me a text asking how am I

    • Show All
    • So last night she texted me again... using pet names again calling me sunshine and asking me how I been and telling me how the puppy I let her have always reminds her of me (since I bought it for her) I took a whole day to reply and when I did it was a non flirty short and funny text... did I do ok? or should I ignore her text completely for a longer period of time?

      WHY is she contacting me again if it was her who didn't wanted a relationship?

    • Nope, you are doing GREAT! She is starting to realize something. Keep doing what you are doing! Each time try for a LONGER period of time. It keeps her waiting, anxious and wondering. It also makes you look mysterious and not clingy. Seems she is REALLY interested in you but she just needs a push, and by taking your sweet time to reply to her, it keeps her guessing. You are doing GREAT! I hope I helped <3

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Chances are she was on a break with her man and you were a rebound. It sounds like there could be something like that going on. Or maybe she really is single and just isn't ready for a relationship but misses the feel of a relationship, hence calling you let names.

    You don't lose interest in a guy overnight something can happen that then from that point on makes you lose interest.

    If you want her back ignore her. Let her come to you.

  • haha it's good. She wanted to test you and see if you will let her come to you. You let her and you don't seem possessive. Good sign! So don't let her go :)

  • Sounds like there is something more to the story. She may have a boyfriend or other guy that she is seeing. From personal experience I once was hanging out with another guy when I had a boyfriend and told him something similar when I noticed things were getting too deep. I did not want to tell him the truth because I did not want to lose him.

    On the other hand she may have just gotten out of a relationship and is enjoying her freedom.

    Don't ignore her text-if she lost interest in you she wouldn't bother to reaching back out to you.

    If you really want to be with her just wait and see how things go. See if you can talk to her and see if there's more going on than she's letting on.

    Best wishes.


What Guys Said 1

  • she's just afraid of what will happen next. as I've noticed she's so naive and religious too and it makes the situation so. it's not like she told you "...i don't want to hurt you..." .it's that she doesn't want to get hurt and she saw herself start to have feelings for you then she got afraid about it. these kind of girls are so and only thing make them relax is "marriage promises" :D

    so it's your choice :P

    • I think your right bro because when she explained to me in a text why she was being distant she said "i did have feelings for you but like I've told you I have gotten my heart broken in the past and it's hard for me to fall in love with anyone"

      What I don't get is why is she contacting me again? it was her who decided to back off...

      So I started to ignore her and after 5 days she sent me a text calling me sunshine and telling me that everything reminds her of me... what should I do?

    • the reason she contacted you again is because not all of people are strong enough to stand in front of their feelings. she decided to be distant but simply she can't ignore how she feels. I'm not talking about love or so. it can be a simple desire or a gravity. but I think you don't need to be distant . just be normal ... don't spoil the feelings and don't force yourself to be distant. sometimes you need to choose the middle way instead of left and right.