My 'boyfriend' never calls and barely texts.

We are still in the beginning stages of our relationship and I don't feel like he really wants to get to know me or cares what is going on in my life or wants to be in it. If you really like someone and want to build a relationship with them I don't see how you could go days without calling or messaging a simple "how are you?" I believe that the guy should be the pursuer in a relationship and put forth at least 51% of the effort.

I have let him know that I like him and would like to build a relationship with him. He has implied that he wants the same but words are meaningless without the actions to back them up. I don't mind taking it slow I actually prefer to but right now I do not see a light at the end of the tunnel. Communication is important especially when we do not see each other daily. I am the shy introverted type so I am not asking for long phone conversations and I to like texting I could do that all day. I am left asking myself if he's not calling and texting me then whom is he calling and texting? He does not have his phone for nothing right? The not calling thing especially worries me because you can text several people (girls) at a time, but you can only talk to ONE. I am never that ONE cause he NEVER calls. All of this makes it 10x harder for me to open up to him when we are together because I feel that I am being played.

I feel as if he is stringing me along until he finds the girl he really wants to be with who he will call everyday and text non stop. All signs are telling me "he's just not that into you RUN NOW!" But the thing is I've tried explaining how I feel a couple of times and he wants me to 'stay'.

Maybe he is just clueless and doesn't know how to treat a woman yet. We are both young. I am ready for a REAL serious relationship and if that is what he wants and he really is interested in me then I am willing and patient enough for the two of us to grow and figure out this 'relationship thing' together. If he's not I'll move on a find someone who is.

Please give me any thoughts or advice. And guys: Is it a surefire sign he's not interested if he NEVER calls and barely text me? I never call him either but that is only because I believe he should make the first call the only time he has ever called is when we are meeting up. Also I hesitate to text him because most of the time he takes forever to respond or I get no response at all.


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What Guys Said 1

  • aye shawty all I gotta say dnt waste ur time no more and move and find sumthin better bcuz if he still actn dis way for a long period of time den he just and dis relationship for sum pussy

    • One of the reasons why I like him and want to be with him is because he hasn't 'tried' me at all he's a gentlemen. Also I'm not giving him my goodies until I hear those three words that's just my policy... I figure I just need to talk to him about how I feel straight to his face and if he doesn't make a change he's getting kicked to the curb.

What Girls Said 1

  • Firstly why would he be doing this? You have given reasons like he's waiting till the girl he really likes comes along... but what if he is just having some problems at home or stress with exams? He might be having internal problems with family and so forth. Reason I'm saying that is because from my own personally experience my ex was doing the same, and only after when I was sick of it and broke up with him and found out couple of months later that he was having problems at home.

    • If that's the case I wanna be there for him if he's having any problems like that. I think I will ask him that. But either way he either needs to open up to me about it or he needs to sort out his problems himself before he can be in a relationship with me.

    • Well I hope it goes well for you x