Me, coworkers, even strangers tell my boyfriend he’s an a*shole, cruel, & a d*ck but he continuously ignores it?

[Clayaya]

I understand his humor is dark & it is actually funny sometimes. But he “jokes” about serious matters & takes things too far. It’s almost as if he enjoys hurting others. I think that sometimes it’s his way of saying how he truly feels without having to take any accountability. He says he’s really just being himself & I understand but why can’t he understand limits? He’s threatened “jokingly” several times on a detour to put me out of his car & also out of his apt when I was visiting. I don’t find that funny tbh.

He told me if I was as skinny as I was a year ago he never would’ve dated me. He never calls to check on me & rarely texts me. We see each other twice a week & in between that time we are barely in contact. But when we are it’s mostly fun & passionate. He does take me on dates but that’s it again it’s like out of sight out of mind & I’ve told him this & he says I’m being negative. His family is so sweet loves me they invited me to the Caribbean with them during spring break but I just don’t get him. Anytime I explain my concerns he puts in on me.

[Carolus]

🚩 🚩🚩🚩. You need to walk away.


Gonna say what you don’t wanna hear right now, he lacks empathy, a sociopath and a narcissist. Relationships aren’t easy and if it’s gonna be a long term success, there will some work to be put by both parties and with a partner who is unsympathetic, there is a high probability he will hurt, throw you under the bus along the way. You seem to be happy with dinners and outings but he sounds like someone who can humiliate you around and laugh bout it.

[magiusX26]

do you really think that telling an asshole/dick that s/he is one will change them? typically they already know and embrace being that way. for example a brother-in-law of mine is one, talks about the fact that he is, and will put it to use for others at times.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Wow, you listed so many red flags. Don’t you think to yourself “wow, he is fucking awful,” when you hear and tell people what he does and says? Jeez.
You recognize all the bad things he does, yet try to add positives by saying “but he’s nice and affectionate and takes me out on dates sometimes!!!” Those small positives do not make up for all the shitty negatives he has done.
Ma’am, it’s time you leave him. I’m not trying to be mean, but I don’t sugar coat things.

[SecretsofKB]

I say this all the time, but it is still true. I hate being the one that tells people to end a relationship... but honey, get out of there now.

If that many people are saying that many bad things about him, then you seriously need to question if he is a person you want to be associated with in any way.

[RealMarek]

You can’t change him. You’re young and there is time for you to find a good man. Why tie yourself to a jerk?

[Clayaya]

I think you’re right, I just hate that I allowed myself to get so attached to him because it’s very difficult for me to detach once I’m all in. I hope that I find a good guy one day. At least I have a better idea of what to avoid.

[RealMarek]

In my experience, knowing what to avoid and what you want is invaluable. You’re young. You have every reason to have hope.

[awkward_author]

If you've spoken to him about it, and he won't stop, it's unlikely that he will. Since this appears to be something you can't handle, break up with him.

[spartan55]

Wow... the trash some women settle for never ceases to amaze.

[Anonymous]

he sounds uncultured also typical black dude behavior to insult you for being skinny what the eff? Not all black guys just the douchey ones. In my opinion he sounds like douchey. I guess not all the way douchey he still takes you out and stuff but like yeah he has issues maybe

[jasco]

Sometimes its better to show him what his actions feel like rather than telling him. Calling someone names, never works in your favor

[driven159]

he needs to grow up and you need to think about the future

[Clayaya]

What do you mean think about the future?

[driven159]

he is going to a lonesome future people will get tired of his act a be done with him

[Anonymous]

Yet another woman falling for a douchebag loser lol.

[noohair]

A sardonic sense of humor is distressing to me and a red flag. This is the best you can do?

[Koalamate]

Sounds like a bad boy asshole.

[Clayaya]

Not even more like a narcissist but I’m attached

[cookiecrusher]

What are you doing with such men?

[Anonymous]

Find another man