FINALLY! The Husband Shopping Center is here!!


OK, so a girlfriend told me about this new Husband Shopping Center.

She knew about the awful experience that I had when I was 20 and how picky I am and said this would fix everything for me by allowing me to get the real husband of my dreams this time.

At this Husband Shopping Center she said I could choose among many many guys to get the exact guy that I wanted.

It was laid out on five floors with guys of more and more increasingly positive attributes with each floor you got to.

The only rule was that, once you opened the door to that floor and perused the guys there, you couldn't go back down, you had to pick your guy from that floor without going up any further. You could only go back down to leave and never return again.

So I, and a couple of girlfriends, went to the Shopping Center to check it out and see if there really was the perfect prospective husband there. Remember there are five floors.

FINALLY! The Husband Shopping Center is here!!


The sign on the door said, 'These guys have jobs and love kids"

Wow, OK,, that's nice, I mean that beats not having a job and not loving kids ...right?

But they said that with each floor the guys have even more positive attributes, so why not take the risk and check it out?


The sign on this floor said, "These guys have high-paying jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking!"

OK, now my girlfriends, and I, are looking at each other like ...have we hit the jack-pot here, or what?

I mean how could it get any better than this? ...but then we thought Hmmm, if it keeps getting better, what do we have to lose? we decided again to give it a go and check out the next level!


The sign said "These guys have high-paying jobs, are extremely good-looking, love kids AND help with the housework!"

Now we just stared at each other with our mouths opened! OMFG!

...but wait!'s like as we go up each level we are just getting closer to nirvana! up we go again as excited as school kids on their way to Disneyland!


The sign says, "These guys have high-paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good-looking, help with the housework AND have a really strong romantic streak!"

OK, that does it! SOMEONE PICK ME UP OFF THE FLOOR PLEASE! ...YES, I have entered the gates to heaven!

...but WAIT! Just think about it. What on earth can the final floor be like? Well, there was no cat on the planet that could match our curiosity at this point up we go!


The sign says, "This floor is just to prove that ...WOMEN ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE!"

Now there we are, empty handed with heads down know, we didn't need to go to a Husband Shopping Center to figure that one out!

FINALLY! The Husband Shopping Center is here!!
FINALLY! The Husband Shopping Center is here!!
Add Opinion

Most Helpful Girl

  • ChgzDaniel
    Great story with an excellent moral. Reminds me of the tale of the dog with a bone, looking at his reflection in the river. He thinks he is looking at another dog with a big juicy bone too. The dog opens his mouth to grab the second bone, only to lose the one he had.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Thank you!

      Yes, great analogy of the greed that we sometimes have!

Most Helpful Guy

  • TadCurious
    Laurie your series of humor posts are priceless! Thanks for making me lolololol. 😂🤣
    Is this still revelant?
    • Thank you, I am so glad that you are enjoying them!

      I am having the most fun with these.

      There will be more coming... lol

    • TadCurious

      Thank you Laurie for MHO!

    • You're welcome, thank you for a great opinion :)

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • BeRealU
    This is great! When I started dating in college I definitely fell victim to FOMO.. if only I knew then to appreciate what people I already had in my life.. wow. In a consumer society it’s almost inevitable though.
    • Thank you.

      We learn as we live my grandmother would always say :)

  • I would have stopped at the 2nd floor. Those guys sounded really good. I would have loved to choose from them. I wish a place like this really existed. That seems like a lot of fun to go to.
  • kymberz
    bahahahahah! i would like to say that i would have made it to the 4th floor but you pretty much had me at the first floor - cuz i'm pretty sure if he has a job and loves kids everything else will be a cake walk, no? or maybe i'm really not as picky as i get accused of being. i love your writing style tho - things like "OK, that does it! SOMEONE PICK ME UP OFF THE FLOOR PLEASE! ... YES, I have entered the gates to heaven!" set me into fits of giggling because like - i am right there with you and know exactly what you mean! (oh and to be really honest - as soon as i couldn't find a floor called "Get Your Rob Thomas right here!" i figured i'd be settling regardless right? oh bahahahahaha!) Love this post!
    • Thank you!

      ... now I know the sure cure on how to pick myself up from depression... just submit a good post for you to review! ... lol

    • kymberz

      i'll read them all for you! and we can laugh and laugh together!

  • Lliam
    Funny joke.
    But honestly, if it said that guy's attributes became increasingly positive with each floor you got to, who wouldn't be curious about what's on the 5th floor? They lied. It was a trap.
  • dmgstarfleet
    No man can live up to the laundry list of feminine expectations. You have to be able to mind read and know exactly what they want even if they do not know themselves.
  • ZackBan
    This myTake summerises today's society pretty well.
    Women get the pick and chose and so they remain single waiting to chose the best and always wanting better.

    I was already satisfied with the first floor. The other qualities will build up in time.
  • Ceasar97
    lol, that was a funny end. If only humans were that simple and easy; although, I am glad they're not.
  • Deku2009
    Would love a wife store that is very similar to this
    • Just don't go to the top! ... lol

    • Deku2009

      Will do lol

    • holidaze

      Correct! In the case of women, always go down! (See what I did there?) πŸ˜‚πŸ˜œ

    • Show All
  • Hermes-Paris
    I guess that's why we end up in the basement bargain bin.
  • Jjpayne
    Lol! Thank you for this :) we are all imperfect even though we want perfection, we don't realize that we are imperfect too
  • Finchie40
    LOL no matter what floor the girl picks it’s still going to be impossible for the man to please her lol
  • I love your humor Girls with humor are very rare indeed
  • lucas262
    How man just tried to out rin each other to the top floor?

    I gag thinking of a place like this.
  • rockrewls
    So in judging this far fetched scenario, it's okay to have a wife/prostitute shopping center where men can purchase a woman based on superficial and overtly sexual qualities as well?
  • Juxtapose
    I've heard this before. It's in human nature to be greedy to be fair.

    I'd stop at the first floor if the women looked good and had good personalities.
  • Plitty-Tank
    Awesome. I bet plenty of women would love to show with their husbands too.
  • anabella-fione
    Haha good one. You learned to not be picky. Nobody is perfect.
  • DeeDeeDeVour
    Hee! Hee! :D Good one Laurie!
  • OfDeath
    So none of them have cars? There is always a catch.
  • sejla
    This is MGTOW
  • Lionboy79
    Whee is this located? Wanna see! ;)
    • You want to be on one of the floors waiting for all the pretty girls to come in looking for you? ... lol

      What floor would you deserve to be on?

    • Lionboy79

      Sure, at the entrance, just to being polite, open the doors and look on their booty when they pass by. And one day, your maybe are one of them? Lol

      I am on the -1 level / basement. Too unique for any category and a mixture of anything and nothing ;)

    • Lionboy79

      PS: The lady on your cover picture in pink - u?

    • Show All
  • loveslongnails
    TRUE THAT !!!
    Ok? 😂😂
  • howlinsilently
    Was onlyba matter of time really
  • iFarted
    Hahahahah that last floor cracked me up 👌
  • SuccessfulHornDog
    that's awesome lol 🐵
  • bananathunder
    hahahahaha I love this
  • SecretGardenBlood65
    Good take
  • Usernamesrdumb
    Hypergamy proved.