My female boss cried in front of me, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

It was something of a shock because I always looked up to her as she always seemed to be cool-headed and professional, but yesterday after a fellow coworker quit she pulled me in her office to make me promise I will not quit on her and then started to cry and tell about her divorce and how people always leave, etc.
What should I do?
Pretend nothing happened?
Report her to HR?

Updates

+1 y

Today she apologized for what happened yesterday and also thanked me because I didn't say anything to anyone in the office like she thought I'd go and tattle on her.
I said It was ok but I hope I won't regret it and that she might see me as a loose end to get rid of

Updates

+1 y

Now she's texting me off hours and asks how I am doing and asked if maybe we can talk about stuff after work. Things don't seem to be going well.

Updates

+1 y

Update: we started dating three weeks ago.
Two weeks ago I took the fall for a mistake she made but had no big part in It and got laid off by her boss.
She made sure I get unemployment benefits, and set me up in another company for a better job starting this Monday.
She plans to quit because she got something better lined up in another company. We are still dating.

Updates

1 y

Update: we are still in a stable and long-term relationship!

[ilovesunnydays]

She is a human after all. Sometimes tolerance level is broken for most stable people. And its okay, we are humans after all. Right now, I feel you should just let her know you won't give up on her and hopefully you will mean it. But also, dont get too emotionally available, lest she falls in love with you. People going through loneliness are susceptible and sometimes desperate for romantic love. Keep a distance, yet be there for her, at least professionally. One more thing, please dont expect anything from all this, perhaps she will not be there like this when you need her someday. But, dont lose heart, your kindness will never go unrequited by the Universe. Cheers brother.

[Xoxocutekitty]

Sometimes people just have a rough day and maybe embracing a culture where we're allowed to acknowledge this is OK.

I know everyone wants to think that there's this great separation of work and personal, but there very rarely is.

Your buddy is looking for a new job, your company is hiring, you'll put Two and two together and then boom, your buddy and you are sitting in a board room together.

People date co-workers, and people become friends by gossiping about other people being a hard ass or not doing their job correctly.

Some of the biggest 'decisions' aren't made in the office, they're made when people are having an honest conversation wherever that may be. When we see kids pop into a Zoom background or a manager forget to mute themselves talking to their spouse. As a junior employee, it's always nice feeling that someone is relatable, approachable, and not old school professional.

[Sasha_Gee]

Don't pretend like nothing happened. She's your boss and she's still a strong person. But strong people have limits too, you saw that rare vulnerable moment because it all became too much for her that moment.
She's your boss, but she's also still a human being, and she'd appreciate it if you support her, not as her colleague, but just as person, a friend.

[notwoke]

Over the years I've probably had 50 engineers work of me and 90% of them have been male, but 100% of the ones who started crying at work were women, yet we keep up the charade about women being emotionally the same as men. You now know that if you use wisdom and cunning you can manipulate your boss for your own material gain. I don't know her persona, but there is a way you can interact with her to gain favor that you don't deserve without very much effort. Be careful you can also screw it up if you act stupidly.

[Anonymous]

Next time if you're truly uncomfortable with it let her know. Tell her you are in no place or position to handle it. And if she fires you after that you can sue her company.

But honestly do you have no heart. You're complaining someone opening up to you is like a crime or some offense. Next time just do what I stated above.

[Asker]

I'm not qualified to help her out and she really made me uncomfortable, I'm her subordinate after all not her friend
I don't want to report her but while I supported her and brought her something to eat from the machine I hope it won't become an habit or mess up my career

[Opinion Owner]

That was very kind of you. Next time just let her know that

[My-lover]

I would just like to ask if your male boss did that how would you react

[DubiousIntentions]

Cry along with her. It will give you both a chance to get it out. But realistically, ignore it and give her some privacy, or maybe ask if she needs to talk about something. But... judging by the outcome I'm thinking it may have been a ruse. Poor way to ask someone out, but it seems to have worked, if it was indeed was the case.

[DarkWinterNights]

Just a one off situation I probably wouldn’t do or say anything. She’s sounds like she’s going through a tough time. A lot of people are. If it happens again or she starts making personal advances, I would let her know how uncomfortable it makes you. Don’t needlessly take it further than it needs to just yet,

[Mangospacho]

Turns out female tears are an effective way to manage. 😆 Why would you report it to HR? What would you report? That she has emotions? And that she made you change your mind by using the oldest trick ever? They’ll be proud of her that she retained an employee by breaking down in tears, which saved the company a ton of money.

[Mangospacho]

Tell her you need your space or you’ll quit.

[Mangospacho]

Told you she was just trying to jump your bones.

[Asker]

At least things looks good

[Mangospacho]

Well, at least she’s falling on the sword by leaving the company so you won’t have to quit. So it’s kind of like Romeo and Juliet, or like an Amazon reboot of Romeo and Juliet.

[Asker]

Yeah but I got laid off because I took the fall for her.
She found me another job though.
She wants to quit because she says current company gives her anxiety and I was the only person she really liked to have around.

[Mangospacho]

Cool. But you can also sue for sexual harassment now.

[OlderAndWiser]

I thnk you should feel some compassion for her, be loyal to her, and not discuss it with anyone else at your job. She only did that because she trusts you; did she make a mistake?

[OlderAndWiser]

You have no romantic/sexual interest or attraction to her?

[Asker]

No because she's too old (29) and I'd rather have a career than a woman. Those things aren't worth risking job and money

[OlderAndWiser]

Okay. Getting a manager fired for this reason probably isn't a good career move, do just tell her that you want to keep the relationship strictly professional and she will knows what you mean.

[OlderAndWiser]

"No because she's too old (29) and I'd rather have a career than a woman. Those things aren't worth risking job and money" . . . and now you're dating. Seems that life overruled you in this case! :) :) :)

[OlderAndWiser]

Congratulations on the news in your update. Seems that life has taught you a few lessons! ) :) :)

[Adam1978]

Nothing, you shouldn't be close to your boss. So your not her shoulder to cry on. So let her handle her situation on her own. Don't report anything. Don't even talk about it. Let her have her vulnerable moment without you making it worse.

[My-lover]

Bruh , you are in tough spot if you are too nice to her she might catch feelings for you because she's vulnerable now and she is leaning on you tread carefully.

It's like walking on mines, offering her food was good and basic deed it is nice of you.

Just go with a flow and just agree with what she says don't add extra remarks

[My-lover]

Lol you will not be the loose end , but wait for it when she hits on you.

Please update if she does

[My-lover]

I knew it just as i predicted

[Starla1234]

If she didn’t make you extremely uncomfortable, then just stay civil and nice to her, and kind of act like nothing happened unless she brings it up again

[RolandCuthbert]

I don't know. Have her arrested I guess.

WTF?

Is this a joke?

https://www.youtube.com/embed/6M8szlSa-8o

[RolandCuthbert]

Some folks at work are unstable. Believe me, it ain't related to sex. I have had too many dudes breakdown on the job. But sometimes, things can get pretty rough in the IT field.

[Honesttguy]

Yea i just ignore their weak moments, shit happens i dont care thats life. Job is work u do it good and if u find something better u move. Its all about money in the end.

[howhigh420]

Support her she's been there for you at work and you want her to be happy in her job yeah have a talk take a lunch break eith her and ask her whats up

[Vegasrunner]

Document the incident in an email just for CYA purposes. Do nothing else you're just an employee, don't allow her to make her problems yours. Be very careful of this type of woman.

[notwoke]

all of them are "this type of woman"

[Vegasrunner]

@notwoke Na That's a false belief, people are different and have different traits but a "female boss that is crying in front of subordinates is probably more on the manipulative side. Would you be asking this question if a male boss was crying in front of you?

[notwoke]

Like I said in another post. I've had a bout 50 engineers work for me over my career and 90% of them were men but 100% of the ones crying my office were women. That's no bull. All of them are overcome by their emotions and not just one time. In nearly 30 years I've never seen a male manager cry

[Vegasrunner]

@notwoke Lol, No Shit. I'm saying that not every woman is manipulative. Yes I agree they are all controlled by their emotions.

[whirled_up_girl]

I work in a hospital so crying on occasion or seeing people I work with cry on occasion is pretty normal whether they are above me or not🤷‍♀️

[Subarugirl]

Why would you report her to HR? Did she do something wrong?
Honestly what is there for you to do? She cried.. people cry, it's part of being human..

[Tstrbrainer]

He's her subordinate not her therapist to be made to listen to her rants

[Subarugirl]

@Tstrbrainer …. Yeah no kidding.. but what HR rule did she violate?

[Tstrbrainer]

I don't know your country's rules, but it is inappropriate as it is dragging him into her personal matters

[MarkRet]

She's having a tough time. We all do. Just tell her you understand, and be supportive of her as a boss.

[joeblow123]

Get out of there as fast as you can. She has hit the psycho stage and everyone is a target including you. Don't let her destroy your work history get out now.

[joeblow123]

I suggest you look for a new job. She will remember you witnessing her crying and that can seriously compromise her as far as raises and promotions go. The fact that you did not report it means it's her word versus yours. Which means that her word would have the greater weight due to her job title. All she has to do is collude with other women to falsely accuse you of sexual harassment. ('Asker said if I didn't give in to his demands that her would smear my reputation and spread lies about me.')

[dustybiker]

Everyone has a moment. Men get angry when emotional as they are often “taught” not to cry. Be the bigger person and let it go.

[IMuser]

Just forget that it happened. Consider it an emotional outburst

[annabananna]

I wouldn’t report her. If she does it again just calmly let her know that it makes you uncomfortable. It sounds like she was going through a lot and had a lapse in judgement. It happens to us all.

[exitseven]

sounds like you can use this situation to your advantage.