I studied psychology a ton. It only made me a know-it-all refusing therapy, thinking I am already 100% healthy. Why is that, and what can be done?

When someone pointed out a bad behavior, i ripped myself into pieces to stop it. And then it just so happened that a million external reasons force me to keep doing it. So in my mind, i am actually cognitively 100% present and perceptive.

Turns out it all stems from #1 being tortured as a kid (literally without exaggeration). #2 repressing any sign of being offended by it. #3 just being a good person who forgives them. And then, i am super supportive of people who get the same abuse. And i never dare to inflict the same pain on anyone. HOWEVER i adopt the traits of the abuser in all ways different than the actual torture, e. g. idiotic jokes (that never offended me personally).

Now as i typed this, i realized: he refused therapy KNOWING he is sick. So he passed onto me to refuse it by not knowing i was sick.

I know what you're all thinking: GET THIS TRASH OFF THIS FORUM! GET HELP!

I WILL get help, but i will also spread awareness. Yes, this cringe term is good because in my poll, 0 people voted knowing the attachment theory. To learn the attachment theory, just google it, read for 1 minute. It isn't complex. It is what placed me onto the path of seeking therapy. I realized "Wow, so, turns out, my behavior matches this... why exactly? Interesting, it all starts in the childhood!"

And to be fair, i specifically remember doing psychology class lessons about the attachment theory. I just thought "it doesn't apply to people, at all, it is just for the books".

And as i was projecting my abusers onto a person whom i trusted enough to project my pain upon, i serikusly wanted to "cure" them... in reality i wanted to cure my parents without knowing it. So i looked up "what attachment style does she have if she push pulls me"... boom, i saw myself and my parents in the text. Speaking of which, my mom was really really angry at me when i reminded her of my dad... but was nice to me when i reminded her of her lost dad.

I studied psychology a ton. It only made me a know-it-all refusing therapy, thinking I am already 100% healthy. Why is that, and what can be done?
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