No, You Are NOT a Loser for Going to Gigs by Yourself. Here's Why.

No, You Are NOT a Loser for Going to Gigs by Yourself. Here's Why.

I have been going to gigs on my own ever since I became a music fan. True, sometimes it is nice to have someone to talk to between sets, and sure time goes by faster, but really is it that good to go to gigs with your friends? I have been going to gigs on my own, especially since I moved to England because as a music fan in France, bands only play in Paris and almost never outside so I missed out on a lot. Thankfully when I moved to Bristol six years ago, I realised how great the city was if you are a music fan. You can catch a gig to London and take the bus back at midnight (as long as the venue is a half an hour radius from the station) and Cardiff as coaches take you back to Bristol at midnight and 1 am, so for me , living there is awesome as I don't miss the bands I love (well as long as I can get tickets).

None of my friends are really into the same bands as I am, but that never stopped me from getting tickets to see them. I would rather go see a band by myself and enjoy myself rather than missing an opportunity to see a band I love just because no one wanted to go with me. I always get anxious when I go see bands by myself because when I am in the queue, or in the crowd, I feel like everyone is pointing at me saying "oh my god he is alone and doesn't have any friends" but this is JUST in your head.

Honestly I find going to see gigs by myself to be such a moment of freedom. I look around and I see people who are all into the same music as me, and here for the same reason; to see the band we all love.

When I go to gigs by myself, I can actually go in the venue whenever I want. I don't have to look for my friends, text back and forth asking where are they and when are we supposed to meet, etc. I can show up whenever I want, 2/3 PM if I want to get front row 5 if It's a band who I am not THAT into or when I feel like I will enjoy it more from the pit or bar and it's a small venue. If I show up early, all I have to do is make sure my phone is charged for music/internet, download a few TV shows from Netflix and I am good to go. Hell I can even have a chat if the people next to me seem friendly enough. And normally everyone is, if you say you are by yourself and explain why, you won't get pity. Instead you will get respect from them because you did the one thing they wouldn't ever do and they won't even mind hanging out with you a little bit if you feel a little lonely, and that is okay.

Not only that, but I find that on the rare occasions where I go to a gig with friends, everyone wants to do something different. They want to go have drink, go into the venue last minute (when you always had that plan in your head to go early to catch your favorite spot in the venue) and I find it so irritating when your friend tries to talk to you when you are so into the music or while they play your favorite song, or even worse, drag you into the bar or toilet when your favorite song - the one you have been waiting to hear live ever since the show was announced- is about to come on because if you say "no, thanks" you will just offend your friend. No, thank you.

The coolest thing about being by yourself at a gig is like I said you can go wherever you want. You can try to fight your way into the front row, have a seat in the balcony, go into the pit, without having to ask anyone if that is okay with them. When I go see a band that I love by myself, I can be truly myself and happy and I don't even care anymore that I am on my own and no one here knows me. I can just spend my time daydreaming, getting lost in my thoughts while listening to music. Fuck everyone else. During the show, I can be so into it I can scream the song lyrics, jump, or share a tear if my personal song comes on by surprise. No one will be there to judge me or remind me the next day how weird I was that night.

And anyway the thing I hate about going to see bands with friends, is that everyone will have something to complain about after. "I didn't like what they were wearing," "I hate that they played that song" (and suddenly feel bad because you personally loved that they played it), or disagreeing on the setlist choice, etc. If I go by myself I am normally always happy with whatever they played, and I am just so in my head feeling at the top of the world after the show that I don't even want to talk, I just want to replay what just happened in my head over and over again. Hell, maybe I will even try to catch a band member outside without having to ask if that's okay.

Everyone is always cool with taking a pic with your phone if you have a chance to meet a member anyway and you can always meet new friends here if you are lucky. People who actually like your music tastes and won't mind meeting up at the next show.

So there it is. Is it better to go to shows with your friends? No. Going solo is better. MUCH better.

Try it.

No, You Are NOT a Loser for Going to Gigs by Yourself. Here's Why.
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Most Helpful Guy

  • freakyzeaky
    I go to all sorts of events by myself. The theater, concerts, movie houses, you name it. You never know when you are going to meet new people too, although I haven't really made any friends this way, the possibility is still there. It is far better than staying at home anyway. I still do things with friends too, especially if we both like the same band or movie.

    For guys and gals who don't have many friends in general, I would highly advise doing things by yourself. Take yourself out on dates. Go to restaurants, go hiking, walk through parks, enjoy life. No reason not to. Live in the moment. You never know who you will meet on your adventures. Of course, it is easier to meet new people at a class, club, community event, during volunteer work, but if you just want to get out and enjoy yourself, you never know what will happen. It also makes things far more interesting than "Oh, I just stayed in a played video games and watched Netflix this weekend", although that is fine too.

    When you are alone, people might be more apt to approach you too, as it is always less threatening to talk to someone who isn't surrounded by their friends. I had women comment me on my shirt (I wear horror tee shirts when I go to a show) and we had conversations about it (it didn't go anywhere, which was mostly my fault, I am shy). The point is, things happen out in the world, not inside your abode.
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Girl

  • angelgirl7
    This is actually kind of inspiring.
    Sure it's nice to have somebody to share the experience with but I feel like I can never fully enjoy it when I'm with someone else.
    I totally know how you feel attending a concert. I like to take it all in, and be lost in my own thoughts. And afterwards is such a natural high for me.
    When I attend a concert, I'm fully involved. I love singing and dancing. But I always contain myself because I'm embarrassed by what the other person may think.
    The other thing I hate is how quick people are to leave. If I'm going to see a show, I want to stay for the whole thing. I don't care if they do 10 encores, I want to stay for the whole thing. I'd even try to stick around and meet a band member like you said. But most people I know like to leave the venue before the show is even over in order to "beat traffic."
    What's the rush? I never understand. Just relax a little.

    I've missed seeing one of my favorite bands live several times because literally no one I know listens to them. I actually don't have a lot of friends that are interested in the same things as I am. I'm always telling myself that I should go alone to things so I don't have to miss out, but I never do.

    I definitely think I am going to try and start doing some things by myself. Thank you for the article!
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • coolbreeze
    a lot of my friend's don't like the type of music I like. The best part is you can go anywhere without being handcuffed and waiting for friend's or getting lost and trying to find and locate them. I like to be up close to the front of the stage to get the best view and see the instruments being played and singing song lyrics with the crowd.
  • JimRSmith
    I got past all of this "you can't do X, Y or Z by yourself" mentality years ago, when I had a job that required frequent travel, sometimes with people I liked, sometimes with people I didn't like, and sometimes with nobody else.

    You get used to going to restaurants etc on your own, especially if somebody else is picking up the bill. Going to bars alone is also a good way to hone your conversational skills, too.
  • matchrestore
    I work in the entertainment industry. I work on a lot of shows where I am busy during the opener, but once the headliner comes on I'm free to do whatever I want until the out. If I'm at all interested in the band I'll stay and watch them, almost always by myself.
  • Annie_Mosity
    I totally 100% agree. I prefer going on my own to be honest. I've been to gigs with groups of friends, with just one friend and by myself and I have to say the best times have been on my own. Like you said, you don't need to worry about anyone else and what they want to do or where they are.
  • Hal2002
    I enjoy going to gigs alone, I find I have a better time when I don't have to worry about losing someone or having to meet up later to get home. Nothing can rune a good night than to be enjoying the vibe at something, than having someone else wanting to leave or complaining about something.
  • frozenhorizon
    I can testify, it's totally fine to go by yourself. It's nice to be able to come in and leave whenever you want, A couple times I've ended up talking to other people who were already there anyway. I recently made a friend like this and we've continued to stay in contact.

    But dude, who goes to a venue at 2 or 3 pm? loooool most shows I go to would not even let you in until like 7.
  • Dale1982
    Glasgows a brilliant music city as well. There's a massive music scene there and a lot of big hands like oasis have been discovered there. There's clubs and gigs for every taste from rave sets to unplugged acoustic and a lot of big acts go there every year
  • bloodmountain1990
    I've gone to shows by myself and met other people who i now go to shows with regularly.

    I used to have that issue every once in awhile where i'd have no one to go with whether i couldnt find anyone into the band or they just busy, broke, etc. No shame in going alone.
  • RuthAnn1781
    You're not a loser for doing things by yourself. If your friends don't wanna go then it wouldn't be fun to bring them anyway because they wouldn't enjoy it. So yeah, it's alright to go places by yourself and do your own thing. It's always pretty fun honestly because you don't have to worry about someone else not having fun and you can do whatever, it's nice
  • LittleSally
    There's no reason to give for it... Of course you're not a loser for doing something you want to do - even if it's socially more acceptable for you to be doing it in a group...
    If I love something I'll do it even if no one else is interested in it.

    That's what grown up people do.
    If you always waited for someone else to do something with you - you'd be missing out on a LOT of life! =)
  • Dark_Sunflower
    It is fun to go with friends, as you're sharing an experience. However, it's nice to do things by yourself. If I waited on friends to go to the cinema all the time, I would miss out on a lot of great films.

    In December, I'll be going to a gig by myself for the first time and I'm quite excited about it.
  • Mekara
    I went to a concert last weekend by myself and I had a great time. The first 10 minutes were kinda lonely, because I didn't know anyone and wasn't familiar with the venue. After I got situated, I just blended in with the crowd. I kept getting compliments all night about my outfit (Honestly, I thought I looked kinda plain). The band was awesome. The crowd was hype. And I even made a few friends. I had a great time.
  • apple24
    Thanks friend! I actually going out for the first time in 6 years. I never really had friends and I never had anywhere to go. But I found out my favorite band is coming near by and I bought my ticket today. Although I really want a friend I can't wait for someone to take me out. I am Just going to enjoy it! Super excited!! I hope I make a few friends while there. I am already thinking of an outfit and planing to record myself. lol I am that excited! Lol
  • OptimisticallyBryant
    I would love to go out to a gig, unfortunately my job always has me on the go. I always travel by myself. Plus after the event in Vegas, im not im a rush to do so.
  • deraz24
    I went to a concert by myself bc no one else had money to go still had a good time, who actually knows you're alone
  • Lynx122
    I was just at a J. Cole concert by myself because none of my friends wanted to come but I think it's still more fun with friend tbh. ^^ But I had a good time anyway :P
  • art84
    It's better giong alone then with people. I went to a concert last year and it was my second time at the Aztec Theater and it was cool. Even went to a wrestling event by myself and it was fun as I didn't have to worry about the other person sitting next to me. I could enjoy the show without being bothered and just have fun.
  • RealManAdvice
    I applaud you for doing that! Nothing wrong with that at all...
  • NaultD
    I've always heard thats a better place to meet new people.
  • Calix
    If you go somewhere by yourself, it means you are a loser with no friends
    • Chris1456

      no it means you are someone who is able to have a good time , and enjoys your own company without having to have people around all the time. it's a strenght, not a weakness.

  • itwasmelaniasfault
    I think people who can't go places by themselves are losers.

    I go places by myself and i meet a lot of cool people while doing so.
  • lilaqua
    I agree 100% None of my close friends really share my music taste so I have been really hesitant to go to certain concerts that I really wanted to. One of the bands that I said to myself, company or not I would go was Death Grips, even though at the time I said to myself I knew it was unlikely they would even tour within the near future. Little did I know 2 months later they announced a show, I managed by sheer luck to snag tickets but I was really apprehensive to go since I knew I would be by myself. I decided to go and turned out to be the best concert I've ever been to, hands down.
  • zagor
    I agree. I've seen some great shows by myself. With friends you always have to hassle with finding each other - I've been to some shows with friends where I wound up wandering off by myself.
  • KristaGrym
    A looooot of juatification because probably you feel bad to go by your own.

    At last you can
  • Mr-Kabuki
    i can't remember the last time i went to a show with people lol
  • depeche2015
    yup :) it's fun doing things alone sometimes
  • ATuairiscean
    That makes an awful lot of sense
  • ArabianPwincess197
    Nice Take :) I agree :)
  • SarahsSummer
    Who said anything about being a loser?
  • CT_CD
    Thank You
  • GayHowellMeme
    No one is a loser.
  • Anonymous
    It's fun doing things alone.
  • Anonymous
    I go everywhere by myself like another Anonymous 25-29 said... but I avoid going to gigs, because they cost money. Plus most of the bands I enjoy (from the late 70s-early 80s New Wave era mostly), now the band members are 60-65 years old.
    • Since you avoid concerts because they cost money then how many other places do you avoid because they cost money?

    • Anonymous

      @MysteriousDarkness I wish I could go to the bars more often. Actually I never go in winter, but in the summer I go like 3-4 times per week, in order to save money.

      And as for the concerts as I said... I'd not go to see the 61 year old Bernard Sumner from New Order, or the also 61 year old Tom Bailey from Thompson Twins, if they ever come to my country (New Order came in my country in 1982 though, when they were at their prime), even if it was for free.

      It's different to see a band, when they're in their prime, than decades later.

      Still, I'm not interested in any of the current bands out there, so I stick to the older music.

      Your prime has passed

  • Anonymous
    Hello there ,

    I am French and I live in the UK too (London ) Your post is funny , because I go to gig on the regular on my own very often.
    One reason is that most of my music tastes do not align with my friends sort of music.
    Also , I remember once , going to one of my favourite band's gig , happened tat one of my friend liked them too. she sort of organized a big night with some other girls that knew nothing about this band. for the whole set they were talking and walking to the bar ordering beer making load of noises. I was very annoyed because the music is very deep and kinda quiet. I felt the experience was taken away from me. (They play every 3 years). and I wished I went alone.

    As you say , it feels a bit awkward when you are queuing on your own etc
    but you can also meet people and it is great !
    A lot of my friends are working in the industry and they mostly go to gigs on their own to discover bands etc, and its nothing awkward !

    My housemate is from bristol , it's a great scene , I hope you have great gigs in the future

    • Chris1456

      Thanks ! so far I have Wolf Alice in Bristol, Good Charlotte in London and Noel Gallagher in Cardiff ! Stoked !

    • Anonymous

      good charlotte = well done !!

  • Anonymous
    That's right
  • Anonymous
    Good my take
  • Anonymous
    I have no problem going by myself...
  • Anonymous
    I can agree with that hat
  • Anonymous
    I go everywhere by myself.