My name is Patrick Bateman. I’m 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I’ll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial masque which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.
Last month when my home had no power & I was walking around with a headlight on my forehead, I would angle it downward so that I could see my environment more clearly. But one moment I glanced up at my closet door mirrors & was terrified at what I saw. So much that it threw me into fight or flight.
What I saw was a version of myself I had never seen before. The way the light was being cast down gave me an uncanny like appearance. So it didn't feel like I was looking at myself at all. What I was looking at didn't look human.
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I didn't even realize I felt that until recently. I can't remember ever seeing myself in a mirror, not really, not like apparently other people do. I've brought it up with my therapist and it is a problem, but a fixable one. I don't know tho I feel like it would be weird to all of a sudden see myself every time I see the body. Like all of a sudden seeing eyes in a dark room. Doesn't feel like I'm even supposed to be there at this point. Unfamiliar face.
No! I have a complicated relationship w/ mirrors. Sometimes I see one and I just think “YIKES!”, yet other times, I look and think “Damn! I wish I was I dude, so I could have a chance at hittin’ that!” Then I remember masturbation, and I'm like “huh, oh yeah… NICE!😁”!
Yes i have. It was the year after my mom passed away suddenly. I felt like i was transparent
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Sounds like it might be related to something like depersonalization-derealization disorder. Are you in any kind of therapy, or is it something you would even consider?
I've never even thought of that before. Interesting...
That happened to me one time during the Pandemic.
I was going stir crazy.
No, but I do get that feeling during sadistic scenes.
No.
I never thought of that... thanks for giving me something else to think of 🤣🤣
I am neurodivergent and suffer from PTSD & PDD. So I have had days like this, sometimes weeks.
Only on a Monday
Once in a while
Maybe like once or twice.
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