I've been an introvert for as long as I can remember. I've never liked being the life of the party, or a lot of attention on me, or am I ever the first one to run up to someone and introduce myself. My whole life, there have been so many people along the way that have literally tried to shame me, including my own parents at one point, for not being this outgoing extrovert, but I can't change who I am and I won't because to do so would be trying to fake who I am not.
The thing about it is, taking a retrospective on my life, none of the fears and stereotypes of what my life would be as an introvert have ever really come true. I think a lot of people misunderstand introversion to mean that an introvert must be a lonely loser who has no friends and no relationships, and can't socialize simply because we take a different approach to it.
For nearly ten years of my life, I had the least introvert friendly job you can imagine. I worked as the manager of a non-profit. I had 75+ regular employees, and 100+ volunteers in the summer times that I had to personally manage. Along with that, I had to do press and media events for the company, public speaking in front of groups of sometimes thousands, training of staff, you name it. Anyone who knew me, knew I was not a fan of speaking to the press or public speaking, but I managed it, just in my own way.
Whether a party or public speaking, as an introvert, these things tend not to be an introverts forte. I would make sure on those days, if I knew they were coming, to get a lot of rest because I knew it would be a lot of mental drain on me to have to deal with so many people in my face, especially strangers. After these events were done, if I could steal away a moment, I would, and just decompress in my office, or a bathroom, or just walk around the block in the sunshine enjoying the quiet and my own company without anyone in my face. Unlike extroverts who get pumped up by these experiences, they drain the introvert. It's "a lot," for us, and so getting away, taking a moment, just being quiet for a while afterwords, helps us feel like ourselves again.
As far as friendships and relationships, like I said, I've never been the first one to run up and say, hey be my friend, but as a kid, I was never short of friends. Most of my friends, including one long entry in my high school year book, reported that when they met me, they all thought I was shy and quiet, but after knowing me for a while, they found that not to be true. All introverts are not shy. We just take longer to get to know people, but once we do, it's no different that two extroverts meeting for the first time. I've had the same best friends for 20 years now, and through various jobs, I've met a whole lot more. I like to warm up to people and get to know them a bit by observation rather than blindly trust that they're great. I think it helps me to form stronger bonds with people because they've inadvertently had to gain my trust before establishing friendships.
Relationships are the same way. When you want to go out with someone...it's some "one," not 20 people in the room. I enjoy the company of small groups, and one on ones with people whether friend or date because of that intimacy. You can talk and be yourself without having to make some sort of impression on 50 other people. Introverts tend to get a lot more out of the interaction than one would at a party where it's loud and you can't hear what you're saying or are having to interact with dozens of people. We love to socialize, it's just on a much smaller scale.
Being an introvert has not hurt me professionally, romantically, or socially. Introverts just have a different way of doing things and experiencing things than extroverts. Of course, someone always points to that one friend who is a loner and hates everyone, but that's not everyone, nor is that person necessarily an introvert. There are also extroverts that have their own issues...and you know what... so what. There are so many different ways one can live and experience life and end up on the other side fulfilled. You telling someone they have to be an extrovert in order to make it in this world, is clearly not true. If someone is not just exactly like you, does that mean they are a bad person or worse off---no. There is certainly plenty of room in this world for both introverts and extroverts to thrive and be happy.
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Anon, I hear you. Myself-an Intro. Very shy, quiet, and will listen well. I've only had 2 relationships in my life. For real. It does hurt me a bit not having someone on my side. But I meditate and watch my favorite shows on Cartoon Network. My friends, 3-4 they know me good. Good reading this,
Thank you, I wish people would understand this!