**please note I didn't use names so as not to make any of the characters in it uncomfortable**
Please allow me to say first that, most people know me as a grump. Over the last year or so that has become a trademark of mine at least so far as it goes when I talk. Sort of a jaded outlook at times. It could be my past, it could be things that are current. I know that to be a lie.
A Bit About Me
In order to do this story any justice, I have to tell you a little about myself. That I think is the hardest part of any story. It is easy to create characters, because you control them. When it is you the story is about, there is no control.
As most know I am in my forties. These are the things that some people have never heard until now. I am Bipolar and although functional and not medicated for it, I want to lead with that. I was raised in a small town and basically nothing of note happens until I got into my teens. In my teens I got into drugs, not the kind they are legalizing. I spent many years battling addictions and bad choices until well into my late twenties. In my early twenties I totaled my car, some people thought I wouldn’t walk. Personally I would have traded that for the depression that sunk in afterwards a I struggled to look at myself past my scars.
For years I chased the bottom of bottles and the tops of a high, just in the hope that maybe somewhere along the way I would find peace from my demons. I finally moved away to Virginia, not because of the reasons that I spoon fed to everyone, but simply because I thought that if no one knew me I would be able to move forward rather than back. I was wrong.
VIRGINIA
Now, I am not sure what anyone has told you about fresh starts, but from my experience they are not as easy as they would seem. I found a place in Virginia and for a time I did well. After a while the bottle and drugs came back like the demon and intruder that I know them to be.
I forgot to mention that I am also a computer genius of sorts. I truly forgot what people don’t know until recently. Over the years I have perfected scams and done things that I will never truly be able to forget. I was not a nice person, and I never claimed that. I am the reason for some online companies and their policies. I have seen scams before they have become mainstream. My last big blunder also earned me the title of Pirate Mike, and as god as my witness I would never make up that title, because although I was proud of it then, it no longer fits now. Never let it be said that I don’t provide references. On top of that I have also scammed the scammers, and that my friends if you have made it this far is where my tale truly begins.
https://casetext.com/case/adobe-sys-inc-v-feather In case you thought the pirate thing is a joke, lol
On to the story I set out to tell, because this story I believe is the proof of everything that I now believe and stand for and maybe, just maybe anyone that has ever wondered about my thoughts, dreams, and reasons will find something to help them understand.
A Tiger CAN Change Its Stripes
About a week or so back I began to get into one of my downs following an up. Usually I get bored, combative and even more grumpy if that is even possible. This time though has turned into a very new and uplifting experience for me.
I usually try to keep my mind busy during these spells, and that is a test some days. This time I began to download dating apps, mostly because at first I thought I would be a troll. After a couple days I got to learn the patterns of the scammers, it’s a nasty habit. I see the patterns in all sorts of things and my OCD won’t allow me to rest until I figure it out. I started to think that these guys really lacked imagination and in truth it wasn’t much of a challenge. I had almost gotten ready to shift to something else. And then I met the first of three of what I am going to call the three messengers.
THE FIRST
Two days ago I was sitting at this same computer and killing time, not anything new. About an hour or two before I had blocked another scammer that I got tired of. After that things went slowly for another hour before I had another scammer email me and start the normal banter. Usually sounds like it is a telemarketer to be honest, so after this long it sounds the same. Then I realized that this one was in my spam already, now to fully grasp that I would have to add this was the exact same person that I had added to spam an hour or so back. Needless to say my natural abrasive personality kicked in and I could pull the conversation to see exactly what I said, but the basic message was that I couldn’t believe that someone could not see that RichmocnPCWizard was someone they had not to far back be talking to. I told them not a ton of my past but enough to let them know that in reality I had known their address and basically any info I wanted 10 minutes into the last conversation, and that in truth I am a pushover because some people would have been on their doorstep had they been anyone else.
THE TIGERS STRIPES CHANGE
I don’t know about anyone else nor would I choose to speak for them, but I was a bit shocked when a day or so later another message came through. From the same person that I had gotten upset with a day or so back. Before I go further I will let you know that I asked them prior to this if they minded me mentioning this. I did so mostly because I knew they were reading my posts. I didn't let on that I knew who they were at first because in truth they had done something that has only happened on truly rare occasions, they had earned my respect.
Some people may scoff at that and that's ok too. But in 41 years there have only ever been 8 or so people that have gain my respect as simply as they had just done. Over the years the depression has also given me a sense of awareness that I know my face and body language can be intimidating if I am not careful.
THE TALK
I had already gained a respect, so I began to wonder where this might lead. As I waited and thought about what I may say I couldn't begin to imagine the things that were about to unfold and the lesson I was about to learn. Over the past 48 hours or so, my mind and time are never in sync anymore, we talked, and in doing so I related to them the story that I just spilled above. It wasn't until a few hours ago that I realized that they were the first person I had told about my exploits in over 10 years. There are about 4 or 5 others that know first hand, but that is a story for another time.
I have to say I never really want anyone to do the things that I have done and in truth I hope even now that someone, somewhere, someday, might see this and it will be a lesson. I also at this point realize that not many people keep my attention long, that is not the fault of others rather it is me, I tend to think about several things at once and it shows. In the course of the conversation I of course had to brag. I told them that I had worked out their scam in my head the day we first met, took it apart, and rebuilt it into not only the PERFECT scam, but I had made it a legal scam. Yeah I guess scam doesn't fit.
THE SECOND MESSENGER
Of course I explained it to them if your wondering, I don't expect anyone to go on my word alone. After talking with them today I had a smile, not because of something I did rather something that someone else accomplished. They told me that they wanted to help people and I rubbed off in a good way.
I mentioned my past with addiction, she and I are old friends that no longer speak unless needed. I had been a bit preoccupied with another friend who I knew was struggling with some of the very same demons I have caged deep within. I hadn't thought how I could help them lest I had to wrestle my own once more, and that alone consumed me. Well now sometimes things just fall. I found out that the friend I was worried over had decided to make changes, not only for others, but because he was ready to change for himself. Again, if you haven't ever been addicted to drugs don't judge, you haven't earned that right. I would take 100 rounds against Mike Tyson any day of the week.
THE FINAL PIECE
If anyone here is keeping score, I think that is 2 to the good by the way. I will tell me theory at the end, only because I don't want to confuse anything in my head. I also have had another person very close to me that I have been distant to because of my downs, and I knew that it wasn't fair but couldn't change it if I had even thought to do so. Well, again my first messenger had made me smile and in doing so allowed me to pay attention to the friend I have been neglecting. So I know this part is shorter than you would expect after the others, but the truth is it was only remarkable because of the events before. Plus I can see that guy in Texas yawning so I better start wrapping up.
MY FINAL THOUGHTS AND WHERE THE PATH FOLLOWS
Now there is only the end, and if you are still with me I want to thank you. Now I told my cousin very recently that I would deny the fact that I had and have always looked up to them, now I don't know if he's reading this, but if he is he should hear it again. You see through everything that I have just told and my life I looked up to him because in my eyes he is a good man. I know how rare a good man is, and he really doesn't give himself enough credit. The part I left out is it is because of him that i believe what I do now, and that is not only can people change, but in being a good man you start to smile. With just that alone, you can begin to do anything.
I titled this wrong, but in truth I am too lazy to change it. My thoughts on the power of a smile are simple. With just that one smile, you don't know how far it will go. Before you tell me you do smile I will say that I said once today already. "DO YOU" Have you ever truly looked at the people around you. Go out and walk a busy street, count the smiles. Today we are so wrapped up in our lives we forget there are others around us. I believe that if you smile and are kind we can accomplish anything. To me the world has always been full of wonder and amazement and that is what he's kept me moving forward. I believe that everyone has the potential to be either good or bad, and you never know when something as simple as a smile is the thing that helps another.
In closing I would suppose the point of this is that we should never forget that others are around. When you smile it goes far, and the farther it travels the more powerful it becomes until it is an unstoppable force. So if nothing else just remember that if we ever meet I will always try to smile, and if I forget, please remind me to.
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