If you’re from Asia, you must be familiar with this. If not, be patient with me and I run you through it.
Tiger moms are what we like to call a hot tempered, perfection seeking, and in some ways, toxic mom.
Living my life with one, I’d like to share the traits these moms possessed.
1. They’re demanding.
They’d use their authority to order you around, make you learn things you’re not interested in, and demand you to learn respect ( Hence, most Asian are shown to be shy and unable to communicate well in fear of saying the wrong things )
2. They expect good grades from you.
As an Asian, grades are important than everything. It’s a way of showing they love you and want you to succeed in life. Of course, that also means they could brag about your grades to their friends. Google “mianzi” ( the concept of honor among Asians ) and you’ll know how important it is to Asian when it comes to comparing their children to others. Having to finish my diploma at the age of 13, I’ve seen my parents bragging about it.
3. They’re BAD at compliments or comforting speeches.
Let me run you through my childhood. Never in my life have my parents tell me they’re proud of me, nor have they ever comfort me during my saddest times. They have never apologise or even mumbled a single sorry when they do something wrong.
4. Depression is not a thing, in some cases.
Being in a stressful environment where I’m expected to get my degree and music exams faster than everyone, I would self harm. Yes, I’m ashamed of it. But instead of talking to me, the would threatened to send me away and disown me if I did it again. They would tell everyone about it and shame me publicly.
5. Physical abuse is okay.
I remember the days when I was a kid, I’d make mistakes ( spilling cups of water, doing math wrong etc.) and they would slap me in public, in front of the employees and people in the cafe. They would use a cane to hit me. Once my mom use a clothes iron to burn me. She had also slapped my face until my glasses breaks when I was 12.
6. Public outings are discouraged.
Up till date, I’ve never dated, never had my first kiss. It’s not to say I can’t find a boyfriend, I had people asked me out before, but I’m sure my parents would’ve disagree. They’d prefer I study instead of wasting my time with friends and boyfriends. I’m not allowed to have sleepovers.
7. They will try to control every aspects in your life.
Manipulative, you would say. Maybe. Till now, my phones will be kept by my parents with a screen time limit of 1 hour. My curfew is 9pm. I’m turning 18 this month FYI. When I try argue with them, they would guilt trip me like telling me by not sleeping early, I’ll disturb my sister and cause her lack of sleep ( she shares the same room as me ) and it’ll probably make her sick and so on. Hence, my sleeping time is the same as my little sister.
And here we are, there’s more to list but I’ll stop here. It’s not to say American parenting is the most efficient, but a balanced parenting between both Asian and American. After all, there’s no one right way to raise a child. Let me know what you guys think, and no hate, please.