Today is my fathers birthday. It's been a few years since he passed away and I finally this year feel like celebrating the life he had rather than mourning the loss of it. Though it does feel wrong to be celebrating a life with the current circumstances of the world.
I didn't spend my whole life with my father, we met when I was about 4 years old, he saved my life. We were inseparable until I was 13 when we lost touch due to the foster care system. 5 years I spent begging case workers to get me his number, let me see him, even after I was emancipated I was denied time and time again. Those 5 years were the worst years of my life, for so many reasons but especially not having him there. 2 days before my 18th birthday I got a phone call as soon as I answered and heard his voice on the other end I started sobbing so hard.
We spent the next year together every single day, I would cook for him, sing to him, we would sing and play music together, inseparable once again. Though he was terminally ill and in pain, he lit up every single room he was in.
Feeling the warmth of his hugs and the never ending support reminded me of being a kid again. He was and will always be my biggest fan.
We had an early Christmas that year with all our favorite food and gave gifts for the last time. We talked and planned about all the hard stuff but in a way we made it fun. He asked me to sing and play my own song at his funeral. I played it for him and we cried together then laughed at eachother for being such ugly criers. November 2017 morning of the 16th he passed peacefully at home in his sleep. There will forever be a hole in my heart that nobody could ever fill, and I will forever cherish the memories I have with him and I'm grateful we got to spend his last waking moments together.
here's to the ones we have lost
here's to you Dad. Happy birthday 💛