Why do some women become single mothers?

[letuswaltzforthedead]

Of Beggars and Liars [Part I]: Why do some women become single mothers?

I'm not going to attempt to make a fully fledged series out of different topics but I am planning to add four parts on different topics (It'll hopefully make sense later). Anyways, this is going to be difficult to cover in a single mytake so if I miss anything, let me know. I want to hear what you say.

Mytake inspired by KelleyNice's commentary here

I'm sure you've heard that the number of single parent households, especially single mothers, has been on the rise for a few decades already. Why? For some background, around 25% of American children live with only one parent (That's around 11 million households) of which the majority is led by a mother (80%).

Divorce tends to run in families

Divorce is the one of the main ways women become single moms. Studies such as McGue and Lykken (1992) and D’Onofrio and colleagues (2007) have noticed that children of divorced parents are more likely to have rocky marriages that lead to divorce. The latter study noted that multiple personality factors that lead to divorce, like antisocial behavior and being higher in neuroticism, is heritable.

Negative emotions, poor impulse control, and divorce

Neuroticism relates to experiencing negative emotions more strongly, including depression and anxiety. Poor impulse control explains itself. Someone who is naturally more negative may also be more likely to start arguments, especially when there's unresolved disputes. couples may start arguing about martial roles or if there's major differences in age, religion, educational level etc. According to the Research gate article, this is especially true for women and wives tended to cite martial unhappiness and constant arguing as a reason for divorce. Women also tend (not always) to be higher in neuroticism than men.

Things associated with poor impulse control, such as drinking or drug use, increased the chances of divorce for both genders. smokers start in their teens and usually in times of high depression and anxiety. Teen smokers are 5x more likely to drink than non-smokers.

Education and poverty

Another thing is economic status which both the study and Ludwig Fred Lowenstein (Source 6) mention as couples with less education and of lesser [financial] means were more likely to divorce. The higher the couple was on the two, the less likely they were to divorce.

How does the law and single parent homes affect children?

Liberal divorce laws increases divorce, as now people are more freely able to leave their partners. The articles mostly focused on divorce statistics in the United States and the United Kingdom. The UK experienced a growth of divorces post-war, with an increase of welfare and general benefits available for women. The US experienced their increase during the 1970s and 80s. In the majority US divorces that included children, the mother was the one that kept custody (65%). As of 2021, only 20 states have considered moving towards favoring shared custody. This fatherlessness and the disintegration of the family is often cited as a reason why there has been an increase of violence, crime, and substance abuse in the country. Study done by Kelly (2000) noticed that the children had more adjustment issues than children of non divorced parents. Divorced parents were also more likely to describe their children as difficult. Burns and Dunlop (2000), in a longitudinal sample of
Australians who were teens during the divorce, noted that these people were less socialized and had more relationships. The quality of these relationships were described as poorer by those who viewed themselves less favorably when they were teens.

According to the single mother guide, 52% percent of single mothers never were married (29% of them did get divorced), 29% were unemployed with 22% receiving unemployment benefits, 62% received food stamp and 38% lived in poverty.

What effects do you think this has on the current dating and relationship landscape? Do you have any personal opinion on this?

Sources:

1. https://singlemotherguide.com/single-mother-statistics/

2. https://financesonline.com/single-parent-statistics/

3. https://pewrsr.ch/2xzW0x9

4. https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/

5. https://uvamagazine.org/articles/the_marriage_crisis#:~:text=Only%20about%20half%20of%20Americans,before%20the%20age%20of%2030.

6. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233326654_Causes_and_Associated_Features_of_Divorce_as_Seen_by_Recent_Research

7. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2923822/

8. https://www.reuters.com/article/us-smoking-youth/smoking-linked-to-teen-alcohol-drug-use-u-s-study-idINN2327528220071023

9. https://utahdivorce.biz/national-child-custody-statistics-by-gender/

[MCheetah]

Good MyTake.

Unlike so many other hypocrites out there, while I don't want to date a single mother or changing anyone's diapers, I also don't see them as "good for f*cking" or will try to shame them for wanting abortions, either. While women have it a lot easier in general in society (in my opinion), pregnancy and single parenthood is one of those things women have it worse in.

Yes, you can argue it's mostly their fault for sleeping with terrible men unsuited to be father or marriage material, I still think a lifetime punishment is a bit excessive. That is, if they actually do dislike being single mothers. If they actually love their kids (although I think few single mothers do), then I guess it's not that bad. But otherwise, a lifelong punishment for being stupid in bed, is still excessive.

That's just one reason of many, why I am pro-choice. Life is sh*tty enough as it is, with the people who WERE planned to come into this world, and even they rarely have good parents nowadays. Parenting isn't easy and resources are finite. I'd rather we have less people in the world than more depressed, mentally damaged children being raised in troubled single parent households who have a higher chance, if not highly likely one, to not be a mentally healthy member of society (although who still is, nowadays?)

MY ultimate solution to this, would be restricting reproduction and ceasing it to being a given right among humanity. Not all people deserve to reproduce. But of course, that would be both Draconian and Orwellian. So outside of that, I don't know what the solutions are. It's not like sex education in schools is worth a damn anymore, when they're trying to groom second graders into being gay and trans and will protest and shout "Don't Say Gay" when you go out to shoot all the pedophiles teaching children.

Which is just why this is one reason of many, why I also DON'T WANT KIDS.

[letuswaltzforthedead]

Thank you. There seem to be two type of single mothers; those who end up as single mother (something happened to their relationship or something) and the SMBC who did IVF or similar to have a child on their own. I think education would likely limit the latter more than the former, considering that those are the women focusing on other things anyways (careers). Abortion does limit single mothers and in those cases, usually the women who are too slow to have an abortion fail to, since most women will be able to terminate a unwanted pregnancy on time. Do you think that culturally, the way that single motherhood is viewed, affects how becomes a parent today or not?

[MCheetah]

I don't think the reputation of parenthood has anything to do with it, or that most children nowadays are even planned pregnancies.

[Sixgunsound]

My voluntarily single mother was easily led by a feminist lawyer friend to believe that she will get more money kicking my father out of the family then she would be keeping him. Screw the kids screw the future show me the money! When that didn’t work out as planned, the lawyer friend disappeared and she realized over the age of 30 dragging another man’s bottomless resource pits behind her that nobody wanted a broke voluntarily single feminist who betrayed the last guy.

During our entire childhood, it was one of her worst kept secrets that she resented having sons because her friends in the feminist movement told her that all men are rapists and pigs. When the person she betrayed understandably refused to fund that, and the money her vanished friend promised her never arrived, she stuck her hand out to the government next, which gladly enabled a home wrecking lifelong Democrat to get away with ruining her children’s and her ex’s lives. She rarely dated and never remarried, (who would marry that after they found out what happened to the last guy?) which left my brother and I at a huge knowledge and experience disadvantage for participation in adult male life.

[letuswaltzforthedead]

Thank you for sharing. If you don't mind me asking, how has your mother's feminist views affect you now as an adult? Is it something she talked to you a lot as a kid?

[Sixgunsound]

She made sure I knew what my name was supposed to be if I’d been properly born a girl by approximately age six or seven. I’ve never understood or developed an interest in organized sports, which is some thing I’ve realized is of huge import to male culture. I had to figure out how men think, act, and have a sense of humor, the frankly stupid games they play with or against each other and just the entire culture in general by myself, wasting an impossible to know number of social opportunities in high school, college, the military, and life in general. Serving on an all male submarine was functionally four years of what I have to imagine the first day in prison would be like. I’m 36 and my youngest friend is 62 whom I’ve since realized is a father replacement. I’m doing

[Sixgunsound]

an over 70% female job because I don’t know how else to be, or at least I had acquired so much debt before I treated learning how to be a man as an academic study that I had already moved in and settled down in my career field. I don’t really know how to relate to men my own age except as fellows in an echo chamber or enemies. That seems to be a national problem and not specific to me, but I did feel it was relevant. Getting back to your original question, my mother didn’t overtly state the word feminism, however she would talk about how terrified she was of men, how horrible of a person my father was which turned out not to be an accurate portrayal, and how in America in the 1990s and 2000’s women could not catch a break. She went to meetings and left us in grocery store restaurant tables unattended, she donated her expertise as a paralegal to women trying to divorce rape their husbands, and just generally seemed bitter and angry at life because men in general somehow did something to her or were the ones who chose to kick my father out and drag him through the misandrist court system after which he hid his assets and she didn’t get a dime. She had him jailed three times until the state finally realized that it was costing them more to house him than they were going to get if he ever paid, and closed the case. He was more or less absent from my life by court order from the time she told me what my girl name was supposed to be until I was in college, and so to this day we really don’t have much contact. I do have more contact with him than my mother who has treated my wife, children, and myself so badly that she has been cut off for coming up on two years now.

[Sixgunsound]

I once offered to buy her a copy of the book “I am Malala” if she wanted to see what the real female oppression looks like, and she hung up on me.

[letuswaltzforthedead]

Oh so she didn't raise you and your brother with any male role mother AT ALL? No uncles, sport coaches, anyone? I've heard of single moms who leave their partner for money and then forever talk negatively about their partner to their child. It seems to be a common trend among single mother homes. I guess it's something that's encouraged nowadays. To make sure I understand, she had your dad arrested for not paying child support?

[Sixgunsound]

Once any prospective date found out she had two kids from a husband she divorce raped they understandably found excuses to head for the exit. Yes she had him arrested for nonpayment of child support, but the alimony money was calling her name too. My navy chief uncle got me into the military and my fire chief uncle got me into being an EMT. She didn’t want us in sports because she thought we would become too aggressive.

[letuswaltzforthedead]

Alright, I understand better now. Thank you for sharing again. im happy that you at least had those two but its understandable why you wouldn't really relate to others your age. Thank you

[Sixgunsound]

I don’t mind sharing my story if it helps people realize that feminism has consequences. Not soul is the one that describe, but I only have my perspective to go on.

[Sixgunsound]

Not sole let the consequences I describe, but I only have my perspective to go on.*

[TenderFantasy]

Damn, for 22 you act 42 lol. Talk about very educated and well read!

As for my answer, it would have been just horniness and not being careful lol. I feel that when hormones are runnig amuck, there's no telling where it will go! Only people who have good self-control, are educated on birth control options (or are too scared to not use condoms and birth control) are more likely the ones to have accidental pregnancies! It's not just DIVORCE that makes a single mother. You can become a single mother through yes, an accidental pregnancy (impulse pregnancy let's just name it that), a rape (obviously the worst type of the options/scenarios), a DEATH of a partner/spouse, etc. and yes, finally divorce/break up. Oh, and I almost forgot the PURPSEFUL one which is SINGLE MOTHERING BY CHOICE! Yes, there are people (and maybe I will go this route too), who want to become single mothers, without having to deal with, yes, the problems that relationships that are either incompatible or toxic, bring! But yet, that is life. We make, or not make our choices. It is up to us, how to lead or lay on that bed we made!

-SV

[letuswaltzforthedead]

There's definitely many ways to become a single mother, I was kind of worried of inculding more forms beside the divorce/breakup since I didn't wish to make the Mytake too long. Single motherhood by choice, when the woman goes to a sperm bank or similar, it tends to be because of hormones as well (baby fever). All the other types definitely happen as well, I hope it didn't come off as if I was generalizing ALL single mothers. Thank you for your very helpful commentand compliment!

[TenderFantasy]

Well, the reason for ME for maybe doing it is because I want to spread my genes, not really because of baby fever.

[jennifer_bloom]

My cousin was in a perfectly happy marriage and they had minor arguments and he lost his job during the pandemic so she divorced him even though he was a computer guy who could easily find another job. Now I've heard he's renounced all custody rights to his kids or has been banned from seeing them - maybe they had a fight etc... But there was no danger - just tiny fights they blew out of proportion.

[letuswaltzforthedead]

Were there any third party involved whenever they wer arguing? Was it something they discussed with other family members or friends or even therapy?(even though you said they were minor arguments)

[jennifer_bloom]

Their marriage was not perfect but my cousin quit to early in my opinion and I am not aware of any therapy or counselling that happened. He resented her because she was mean to him when he was jobless and later when he got a high paying job he was mean to her in retaliation so once he lost his job she wanted to punish him for being mean to her while he made more in income and she saw no financial or social benefit in staying married.

[letuswaltzforthedead]

I dont think there's ever a perfect marriage but I can see what you mean. The fights between them genuinely killed the relationship between them and she just couldn't see any reason why to stay. How is your cousin and her family doing now?

[jennifer_bloom]

I have not been in contact with her since our last holiday party 2 years ago but my dad spoke to his dad and his dad says the father now has no alone time with the children - I don't know if it is because of unemployment or her calling police on him during an argument or sign of verbal aggression. But the thing is she hit him and threatened him just as often as he hit her - the only difference is she called the police on him and pretended she was never abusive and pretended to be a typical battered woman.

[letuswaltzforthedead]

Understandable, probably not the kind of person you'd want to associate with. Thank you for sharing though, hopefully the children end up fine.

[NicknameShirt]

I'm dating a single mother. Whe is she a single mother?:

During a low and depressed period in her life, she got into a relationship with a bad guy. He has a personality disorder, was severely abusive towards her, they did drugs, he cheated - all that usual stuff. Then she became pregnant. And for some reason (I think she never should have), she decided to carry the baby to terms. She gave birth to her daughter, and shortly after decided to leave him and turn her life around.

I think this is such a typical story, and honestly, I think the whole deal is just a dumb tragedy. She obviously loves her daughter, and is happy she has her, but her daughter now has to grow up rarely seeing her father, later realizing her father abused her mother, never seeing her sisters her father had with the woman she cheated on. My girlfriend is also forced to have this guy in her life, because she and her daughter wants her to have a positive relationship with her father.

And yes, her daughter IS worse off being born to a single parent. Her mother is overworked, her daughter has no siblings to play with, she is too attached to one person, her mother, and her mom (my girlfriend) struggles to provide every aspect of a healthy childhood by herself, while working, understandably.

If people should follow some core advice in their lives, it would be: DO NOT HAVE kids before you are at least 30, and have worked through your trauma, are in an excellent long term relationship, do not do drugs and are commited to give ALL of yourself to rasing a child. Just don't. It creates trauma, resentment and toxicity for generations.
Maybe don't even have kids AT ALL. It's not the meaning of life to procreate. Devote yourself to bettering yourself, be a force for good in the world, engage in causes that are meaningful and progress the state of the world for everyone. This will not only bypass creating yet another person in need of help, it will decrease trauma and suffering in the world and make it better.

[letuswaltzforthedead]

Do you think that your girlfriend had chosen the previous guy because of the state she was in at the time? Since now that's she's gone and is better off, she chose a better guy.
The advice you gave is pretty good, it's better have children in a better situation for their sake if you decide to have them at all. Ty

[NicknameShirt]

Yes, I think she ended up with him because she was vulnerable. I've met him several times myself. In person he is very energetic, polite and charismatic. I can easily see him being very fun and exciting in the start of a relationship, and then gradually showing his true colours. He is a very broken person himself. He had alcoholic and abusive parents that were disinterested in him and found him way too much to deal with. He has always been see as "too much" and too intense for people around him. He has never been employed for that reason. Chaotic, paranoid, psychotic, impossible to rely on.
I think my girlfriend indulged in a rescue fantazy with him. She wanted to fix him, and loved the broken little boy in him. Ultimately he resented her, isolated her, belitteled her, humiliated her and broke down every support and confidence she had. He once had a rage fit where he ran afer her in the night. Later he admitted that he "wanted to kill her that night", and don't know if we would have had he caught her in the rage. The next morning she went back to him. I guess you see the dynamic.

In most ways I'm the opposite to him. I've always been rather quiet, reserved, "not intense". I useed to have low self-esteem, but I worked on that and now can say I accept myself. I've done well at work and school, I'm a clear communicator, am calm and responsible, and I study art and ethics in university. I'm also 10 years younger than him, and she is right between me and him in age.

(Despite him being horrible to my girlfriend, he actually cares very much for their daughter. They both visit each other and call each other periodically, and he is good at making a fun time for her. But, he is also exhausting (even for kids!) to be around for a long time, so their time together usually is reserved only for a few days at the time. He is not an abusive father, at least)

[ObscuredBeyond]

The minute we started believing in a "right" to sex, belief in saving one's self for a marriage that revolved around something of higher value than sex eroded. When saving one's self became unimportant, belief in any real responsibility also withered away.

And when sex went from cementing of a marriage and procreation to a mindless recreational activity, criteria for partners went from maximum character and head on shoulders to purely maximum arousal potential.

The more common it became, the more socially acceptable it became. Especially when Operation Mockingbird saw fit to use television as a tool for the gradual demoralization of western masses.

So not only are single moms everywhere, but they've been conditioned to not see their poor choices properly, for the rightful stigma of shame no longer exists the way it once did.

And as the standards have faded to nothing for women, so also do men hold themselves to lower standards than ever before.

Nothing damns the soul more than apathy. And the worst part is, they're so conditioned to reject the reality of their shame, that they endanger the spiritual and mental well-being of their own children, just to shield themselves from having to hear that they chose wrong when they went to bed with a man for all the wrong reasons.

Indeed, those who are completely ruled by lust know all too well what they need to hear, but pride and lust specifically scream at them to not hear it!

And the more shallow and selfish a land becomes, the worse this problem grows. Knuckleheads who only think they know it all will then sell their snake oil to politicians and courts, who then change laws and customs to reflect the snake oil purchase.

Suddenly, we have a system that favors what is dysfunctional, to the point that even the president thinks you're literally bin Laden if you do anything the Good Book's way!

Under such a setup, divorce is all too easy, becoming another knife in sanity's side, as modernity poisons everything. And the children always suffer, while single moms and deadbeat dads simply shrug their shoulders, and plan their next senseless, mindless, unprotected one night stand.

[Lookingforthetruth]

Women often become single mothers for one or more of the following reasons:

1. Lack of father in the home. A woman brought up in a single mother household is more likely to be a mother herself. You see, people tend to shape their dating preference and the type of people they will be attracted towards based upon their mother and father's relationship. Girls born to abusive fathers are likely to seek men with similar personalities. In addition, good fathers often help guide young women in making good choices for mates.

2. Hypergamy. This is another reason some women become single mothers. They meet a man who Is high value and he gives false promise of wanting something serious. These women then end up having kids for these men who eventually leave them to screw around with other women.

3. Irresponsible use of contraception and sex positive dating culture. Many modern woman who engage in promiscuous sex will have a higher chance of becoming pregnant. And in terms of hookup cultures, being a liar actually improves your chances of getting laid.

4. Biological panic. Many woman waste down their most fertile and youthful years, whether it was due to failed relationships or focusing on their education/career over finding a partner. A lot of woman then go IVF route or get knocked up by a desperate guy on hookup apps in order to have babies.

5. Husband left her for another woman. Not much to be said, this often comes out due to poor screening on the woman part when it comes to mate selection. A lot of times this case is due to men being high value, having multiple options and losing attraction for their wife/girlfriend secondary to aging. E. g. Shakira and her ex.

Gerard Pique who left Shakira for a 23 yr old

6. Natural attraction to psychopaths. It's been confirmed that women tend to be more attracted towards men who display psychopathic traits. According to the American Psychological Association, the antisocial personality disorder is characterized by “exploitation of others, deceitfulness, impulsivity, aggressiveness, accompanied by lack of guilt, remorse and empathy.” Many women confuse psychopaths for alpha males.

https://nypost.com/2019/10/22/why-women-are-attracted-to-psychopaths/

7. Craving of drama. Women often find honest and dependable guys to be boring. These men often get put in the back burner (aka 30's or late 20s) when women want marriage. Women often like guys who speak beautiful lies to them and cause roller coaster emotions. The problem is these guys aren't stable and will eventually leave.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/a5JST5FPrEI

[Lookingforthetruth]

Also this is a good podcast that sheds light on why we have single mothers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S44Bdrqpdts

[monorprise]

"Liberal divorce laws increases divorce, as now people are more freely able to leave their partners."
Its not really much of a marriage if either side can just walk away whenever they want. That is more of a mere friendship in practice.

Naturally this possibility contributes greatly to instability and anxiety, particularly among the most vulnerable party. Both must always worry about being abandoned. Thus begging the question why even bother?

"The UK experienced a growth of divorces post-war, with an increase of welfare and general benefits available for women. The US experienced their increase during the 1970s and 80s."

The 1970s and 80s are within a decade or so of increased welfare for single mothers. Like with Liberal divorce laws this would have more slowly in the USA as the states would not have moved together with many resisting.

The bottom line is Marriage doesn't really exist among any couple that believes Divorce is even possible. As such there is no security of marriage for any party. Add to this the fact that the State will now act as a surrogate husband and father to the wife and child, in many cases even outbidding the original husband and father.

The economics of marriage no longer make sense for a large section of the adult population. Children and single mothers now suffer for want of all the other benefits fathers and husbands bring to the household.

[KelleyNice]

That is what our masters (the people and corporations with money that write the laws and the politicians they pay to elect that pass the laws) want. Laws, affecting single mothers, based on what the non-ruling people want are almost insignificant.

1.7% of single mothers are widows. That is not likely to change.

34% of single mothers are not or have never been married and while there have always been never married mothers, almost 90% are based on the laws and the courts.

45% of single mothers are either currently separated or divorced and a large majority are based on laws and courts.

Eliminate all court ordered child support by the non-custodial parent, and enforce all agreement between parents regarding the same and the number of single mothers will be reduced by up to 80%. That is much how it was 100 years ago and the reason the the number of never married single mothers has increased almost ten fold from 4% prior to 1960 to 34% today.

[Paulalove98]

Bad relationships is a huge factor these days, the father passing away, getting rapped, woman purposely sleeping around just to get pregnant, or decided to get inseminated. My friend is a single parent now because her ex husband turned abusive physically and emotionally after 5 years, didn’t wanna seek mental help and almost hurt her and her family. Everything was happening behind closed doors. It’s honestly scary these days and a gamble trusting people. My mom was a single mom to my sister at only 20 because her ex was a cheater and didn’t wanna be there for my half sister. She met my dad at the age of 38 when my dad was 34 and had me at 39, their still married 26 years later. It’s definitely never easy being a single parent, it’s a fear of mine even when I believe I’ll be able to trust the guy I have a child with but I know it’s common for young women most of the time being a single mom but it can really happen to anyone.

[EmyyWolf]

Because of disgusting PIG MEN disguised as regular food men. Who leave them as single mother.

some BRAINDEAD women leave the men of course, and they collect a check. But mostly, it’s cheating pig-men, and pig-men that impregnate.

that’s why I’ll stay single for life, and die alone. And won’t have kids. 🤢 eww. Everyone else can get. fff🖕🏼ked

if I ever have kids, it’s gonna be outside of America. In conventional societies where people were raised by both a mother and father. These fatherless simpletons are poison.

[EmyyWolf]

Pig-Men disguised as regular “good” men.

[SoftCliff]

For various reasons

A. The negative social stigma attached to being a single mother has diminished.

B. People with very low self esteem believe that they can catch and keep a guy by getting pregnant.

C. People with low self esteem want something to love that will love them back.

D. Despite being legal, abortions are hard to get and extremely expensive.

E. Adoption is a huge bureaucratic nightmare.

F. Some men are selfish and can't be bothered to put someone else before themselves.

And lastly, certain groups have made birth control taboo. It also doesn't help that we glorify it. When we start to base reality TV on teen moms we send a message that it's cool to have a kid at 16.

[ohsheeT]

Most start out as single mothers

For some crazy reason they meet a guy they start having sex. And the girl who's in charge of her body either doesn't say anything to the guy about wearing a condom or her full of sheet. And he doesn't wear one the girl gets pregnant the guy leaves and the girl is stuck with all the responsibilities I've tried to tell girls through question like this someone has to be the smart one and since she's the one who is going to have the baby it needs to be her. No condom no sex that should be her law.. but 7 out of 10 listen to the guy and 7 out of 10 get pregnant it's just a matter of time

[mstbooblover]

To answer such a question one must face the primitive side of human's animal nature. If I'm not mistaken, the majority of women somehow want children, but not necessaryly a man in the household... A few different women told me that about themselves. Once they had a few children, those women seemed tired of the man's presence and silly fights arising more and more. In the animal world single females with cups is not exceptional at all either. Let's not judge single mothers, because they have their reasons, certainly considering the difficulties of raising children while single.

[nawtee_me]

This is a good my take. However I came from a living family where my parents were together until death did they part. Over 50 years together. I divorced my ex wife and became a single father raising two sons. So I don’t fit that mold.

When I was just out of high school most single mothers were on welfare and having kids every couple of years to stay on it. I am sure there are a lot of single mothers still doing that today. Living off of the system. They know who the fathers are but claim they don’t do the welfare system won’t go after the fathers for child support.

[Twalli]

Single parent families are on the rise because premarital sex is on the rise. As for divorces or unhappy marriages, the effect is obvious. You learn what love is supposed to be from your parents. If the fight and argue, you assume that's natrual. If they get divorced, you thrm aren't sure what constitutes as love, because the people you watched supposing they had love, didn't. My girlfriend and I had a very different view of love. My parents never argue and are quick to apologize when they're wrong. Her parents fo argue. I I look for a relationship like my parents. She didn't until she met me and realized that her parents relationship is not as loving a relationship as can be possible.

[fbk94]

Because they are not open to a relationship.

In the meantime, I would appreciate it if you could comment on my question.

Girls, An unfortunate man?

If you have a dating mobile app, what should it be called?

#Reigner

[mrmonogamous]

This is an issue that upsets me greatly. My wife and I firmly believe that the disintegration of the nuclear family is part of the reason why there are so many problems today. Children deserve both a mother and a father. It doesn’t matter if the mother can handle a child by herself, a father figure is missing. I could go on and on and on about this, but I’ll stop there.

[monorprise]

Don't you think the collapse of the Full family just a generation or less before in the late 30s, 40s, and 50s had a lot to do with it?

A nuclear family is nice and in a pinch might do the trick, but having Grand parents around to help watch and raise the kids with actual life time of learned values the working parents simply don't have time for had an enormous impact upon the stability of said children.

The Boomer kids were the first full Generation to grow up without Grand parents. That they went to such extremes in abandoning their culture and adopting new really quite self-destructive ideas of the 60s, and 70s may have a lot to do with the inherit vulnerability of not having that stabilizing educational influence.

Lets face it that happened because for the first time in Human history Goverment started making that financially possible on a large scale via Social Security systems.

[Haha456]

I'm planning on becoming a single mom by the time I'm 35 if I can't find a husband. Because having children is a privilege and I can't let the single stupid fact that I can't find the right person to ruin the joy of having a family. Many of these idiots who get married usually end up divorcing or breaking up sooner or later any ways. Kids live with mom while seeing dad once a month. Its pretty much the same as not having a dad.

[monorprise]

You really need to collect your eggs ideally fertilized now or they may not be much use to you by 35. I'm sorry female biology is not designed to wait.

That said I'm sorry to hear your having such trouble tolerating the long term existence of any man in your life. This is of course a real problem, as women initiate most all divorces on the account of their Neuroticism.
Often blindsiding their husbands Whom they just expected to somehow make them happy. Men are generally a little different being more emotionally independent we are ok simply living together with simple rules.

Hence why men are more happy in said relationships then women, who are more likely to demand far more of the men before throwing them out entirely to settle for nothing at all, or that army of admirers promising a dream for a 1 night stand.

[Haha456]

@monorprise

My mother birthed me at 37 and my brother at 40. We both came out healthy. There are tons of women who give birth after 35. Fertility does not end for most women until 40. The age of most birthing moms are in their 30s

But since im not getting married. I dont need to wait to have children. I can have kids anytime i want before my childbearing years are over.

After i have my kids, my life would be complete. And full of joy

[monorprise]

@Haha456 It would be nice if that were true but its not. Just because your mother could have you at an earlier age doesn't mean you will be able to continue on as such.
Not only is half of you from anther source the environment in which you live and grew up is much different with far more hormones and other contaminates complicating things.

IVF is not a sure thing a woman can collect 20 eggs and not have a single one of them fertilize and of those that do fertilize the odds of any one making it to birth are rather poor and get worse with each advancing year.

[Haha456]

@monorprise

I can also do IVF. the younger a woman is , the better IVF works. There are plenty of women who were able to have kids at 44 to 45 with IVF.

[Haha456]

@monorprise

I can choose to have kids any time i want. I can have them at 33, 35, 38. IVF is an option too.

[Haha456]

Its actually not uncommon for women to have kids 35 or older. Meghan markle and kate middleton, michelle obama, kim kardashian. All had kids in their late 30s

[BlueScorpio]

Loads of reasons, as Divorce one if them stated above. My friend became a single mother because her boyfriend at the time dropped her as soon as she got pregnant then married a totally different woman. That really sucked for her but she managed to pull through.

.

[BlueScorpio]

Men nees to stop acting like men don't jump up and leave women behind with a kid cause they do. My husband's mother was a married single mother and a divorced single mother, his dad wasn't responsible with money nor payed whole lot of attention to him when he was a kid. He writing bad checks and cheating, when his parents finally divorced, he 100% checked out of my husband's life. Even my husband and admitted when his dad was around he wasn't really there mentally. He said felt like having a stranger in the house. I'm seeing to many comments where men, as usual, put the entire blame on the woman while looking away from the faults of men. If you can see our flaws and bad choices then you need to acknowledge the ones men make as well.

[Little_Bumblebee]

So many reasons. Sometimes the relationship doesn't last because of whatever.

I know someone who really wanted kids but didn't find the right partner, and she was told by the doctors she had to have kids right now if she wanted them cause of her declining fertility or something (I don't know of the details). But anyway, she ended up getting inseminated to get the kid as a single mother.

[TenderFantasy]

Exactly. Most people have the inborn desire to make little copies of themselves and their partner haha.

[Avicenna]

How does it affect the dating market for men? It enlarges it but lowers the overall quality of it greatly for men and women, but especially men.

Some of them prefer to be single moms and run the show on their own without any compromises. Others became single moms for various other reasons, including being a bad partner themselves or having sex with men that aren't relationship much less father material.

[JDAC092299]

I think parents owe it to their kids to provide a proper life for them considering they’re the ones responsible for the kids creation so if people can’t be certain they’ll stay together or if they don’t have the financial means to have a kid and give it a comfortable life or better yet both they shouldn’t have kids. It’s unfair on the kid.

[Anonymous]

Sadly, this is why a lot of women become single mothers. They choose to, which of course is terrible for their children. It's the ultimate in selfishness.

Does being a single mother by choice count as having a family?

[letuswaltzforthedead]

Yea, I saw that post before. I know SMBC are a thing, I didn't know whether to add them or not, they're a different demographic of single mothers but still single mothers regardless.