If friends don't respect you, it is time to move on.

[Anonymous]

I have a bunch of friends who I have been hanging out with over the past 3 years.

Lately, I feel that they have not been respecting me.
I felt like an outsider for three years because I am the only person who is different to them, racially .

Whenever I organise something, I have to literally chase them up to get a response. When they organise something, everyone answers almost immediately.

I confronted them about this and they told me that it was not the case and they did not realise they were doing this.

There is this one girl that I am beginning to dislike immensely. She talks about herself 24/7 and brings every subject to be about herself.

They don't wait for me when I am meeting up with them and they go to restaurants in which I end up calling them.

Then the other day, I could have sworn that a girl who is part of the group deliberately did not invite me as to an outing. I confronted her in which she immediately apologised and invited me on Facebook. I did not go.

I am part of a group conversation with them. The girl that I hate got a job and everyone congratulated her, but when I do, a few people congratulate me.

I left the conversation on Facebook.

I am not sure if I over-reacted or did the right thing. But I am sad to see this relationship go.

[soneoak]

Well, traces of rage, understandable.

I think what more accurately describes your situation is 'fairness'. Fairness is a foundational social dynamic. Without it, no social relationship will ever work.

Respect levels change, some have more of it, some have less of it. What tends to be more important before respect can come into play is "fairness". You were treated unfairly. That is all there is.

In social dynamics, each individual decides if something is fair to them or not. No-one else can decide what is fair for someone else, they can only decide for themselves.

We barter, we deal with things fairly. If there is no fairness, it implies disrespect. However, the issue with this is that, sometimes, even respect can be distributed unevenly, but fairly.

For example, some relationships have different respect dynamics, you get this amount of favour, they get this amount of favour, but the expected cost is also different. There is a premium to be paid for.

People don't mind such difference in level of 'respect'. What they DO mind is FAIRNESS.

Is it fair? If it is not fair, negotiate. If negotiations are not good enough, deliberate. If deliberation falls through, make peace and part ways.

Social dynamics involve everyone, a group functions as a whole, no individual can take more than they should handle. Fairness comes first, THEN other concepts.

If they disrespect, they better play fair. If they play unfair, leave.

Whether they learn or not does not matter, they probably never had a successful person join them anyway. And successful people never consider them worthy of being with either.

Great people are humble, because they know how to make relationships work. They are also deliberate and certain of their choices. They choose their counsellors and friends.

They know when it is better to have no-one than someone that counts for less than 0.

(Credit is better than 0 in a balance. But 0 in a balance is better than a debt)

[Paris13]

There are only Three words for 'Friends who I have been hanging out with with for the past 3 years,' here, dear-----Fair weather friends.
Move on, forget them. The one you can really trust is your own self or family, who is trustworthy.
Friends do come and go and these Bunch are ones who need to go 'Bye bye' today.
Good luck. xx

[Michael-in-SC]

Sounds like moving on was best. A few years ago, I felt the same way. I realized that most of the people I was hanging around with were heavy drinkers, with several being borderline alcoholics, which made them completely undependable. And I don't even drink. I kicked them all to the curb and life was much more peaceful.

[myTake Owner]

Did you find it hard at first? How did you overcome sadness?

[Michael-in-SC]

What I found hard was putting up with all their nonsense and lies. That's what made me sad. The day I decided I had enough of it was when life started getting better. It was like the weight of the world was lifted off of me. I found some groups on Meetup and made many new friends, several of whom have since gone on to disappoint me. But you just have to play the numbers. I'd rather have a few good friends than many half-assed ones.

[Pinkbeauty]

I think moving on is best and meeting new frieands because if u have frieands you've known for a long time then those frieands sometimes tend to for get who u are and they or they won't remmber u any more I used to have lots of frieands I know once and I used to talk to them on Facebook and then they all of sudden for got who I was and they stopped talking to me and that's cause I moved away and they went of to college

[KEKAI123]

也许你该给你的朋友一些自己的时间，也许等他想明白了，他也许会回来，也许不会回来，中国有句古话：船到桥头自然直。是你的就是你的，躲也躲不掉，这就是缘。不知道你能明白吗，Maybe you should give your friend some time, maybe he wants to see, maybe he will be back, may not come back, China has a saying: cross the bridge when you come to it. Is you is you, hide also hide not to drop, this is the reason. Don't know you can understand,

[yufawan]

Do you know have epilepsy? Can you cure?