How to quit a friendship that doesn't serve you anymore efficiently

Anonymous

I recently realized that my two best friends were no longer serving my needs or expectations in our friendship and decided I was done with them for good.

Here's how you quit a friendship, the efficient way.

How to quit a friendship that doesnt serve you anymore efficiently

1. Evaluate if it's you or them that's the problem

Here's the thing: if you're the one that's causing issues in the friendship, you always have the option to work on yourself to improve the friendship again, and I feel that it is important that you apologize for any problems or arguments you may have caused/made worse.

However, if you're certain that they're the problem, the situation is more irritating, as you now have to figure out how to leave the friendship without hurting your feelings or theirs even more.

In my situation, my friends haven't been there for me, ever, especially in situations when I would've needed them, and it took me a very, very long time to realize just how little they've actually invested into our friendship. What absolutely made me realize I needed to end the relationship was when I clearly wasn't doing well (not responding to texts, not sending photos or videos, not talking to them for quite some time) and they didn't notice, they didn't try to help me or talk among themselves to figure out what was going on.

I finally decided to share some of my issues with them and instead of receiving encouragement, they belittled me for not tackling my issues sooner, which really was the icing on the cake.

2. Decide how you want to approach the situation

It's always a good idea to write down your reasons for why the friendship no longer works, or to talk to someone you trust about those reasons.

Then, decide what your next course of action will be. For me, it was as simple as leaving out group chat, because I knew they would reach out just once and then we'd be done with the whole thing. Other options include meeting up to talk about your reasons, giving your friend(s) the opportunity to ask questions, explain themselves, better themselves,...

How to quit a friendship that doesnt serve you anymore efficiently

3. Make sure you know what to say if they ask you what's going on

For me, I have reasons to end my friendships with BOTH of them, for things they did together to make me feel like a horrible person as well as for individual things they decided were the right call (when they weren't).

They've betrayed my trust, intelligence, tried to make sure I was lesser than them (and that I knew my place) and did nothing to encourage me or build me up.

I have several examples to back this up if they ask me what they've done, which is important, because otherwise they won't be able to improve or change.

Don't forget that while you don't owe anyone an explanation, it's good to know why you're done with a friendship before ending it to make sure you're not the one causing issues in the friendship without realizing it.

4. Handle the situation maturely

Come to terms with your decision and with your friends' absence. Don't harbour negative emotions, but realize you've gotten rid of a metaphorical cancer and that it can only look up from here.

Good luck!

Have you ever been in a similar situation?

Have you regretted the choice you made then?

How to quit a friendship that doesn't serve you anymore efficiently
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