How can I reject a friend's request to borrow my clothes without creating hurt feelings/conflict?

[thesongwentonforever]

I have a history of letting an old roommate borrow a few of my things; at first, I didn't mind at all, until she started automatically reaching for my stuff that I gave her permission to borrow previously (consent once isn't consent forever!) and by the end of the year, I noticed that I had a few things missing because of that. I've definitely learned my lesson, but now I don't want anyone borrowing my clothes anymore, especially since I am now starting to buy better quality (and sometimes more expensive) things. However, I've come to realize that back then, I was very afraid of conflict and although I'm not as bad, I don't want to be seen as mean or selfish, but I need to know how to say no.

So how can I say no to people asking to borrow my clothes in the most dipolomatic and nice way possible, while being firm and holding my ground?

[DryJake2015]

Say this: Hey (friends name), I know how much you like to borrow my clothes. And I didn't mind you borrowing some every now and then when you asked. But sometimes you'd take clothes without asking and didn't return them. I don't know if that was intentional or not but it makes me feel like I can't trust you when you do that. Now that I'm going to be buying more expensive/higher quality clothes, I don't want to lend them out to anyone anymore.

If she gets defensive than she's not an understanding person.

With other people just leave out the details: Hey (person's name), I know how much you like to borrow my clothes. And I didn't mind you borrowing some every now and then. But I sometimes found clothes missing from my wardrobe. I don't know who didn't return them, but since I'm going to be buying more expensive/higher quality clothes, I don't want to lend them out to anyone anymore.

Hope this helps. Best of luck!

[MrKinktastic]

Id just say that you have a strict no lending clothes policy to avoid hurt feelings. If she pushes be clear its a hard line. If she continues pushing Id leave as she's not respecting your very reasonable boundaries.

[JennyDarling]

Just be polite and straight forward and say that you've decided to not let people borrow your clothes anymore. If you want an excuse you can say that another person you let borrow something damaged or kept it, or just bring up how you are adding more quality items to your wardrobe and want to keep them in good condition and special to you :)

[TacosRAwesome]

Tell her that its time to grow up and buy her own stuff.

[ScaryCool]

I don't feel comfortable lending my clothes anymore, okay? I keep finding myself wanting to wear what you're borrowing at the time so that's why I decided on it.

[yodiwont]

Something like lets not do this, i respect our friendship to much to let a misunderstanding

[tøp1996]

I only lend my clothes to my cousin