Sex with your best friend?

[Anonymous]

I have this guy best friend who I’ve been friends with for almost 10 years now and we’ve always been super close.

Recently we’ve started talking about more intimate things, things like what we would do with each other sexually.

I have a feeling he wants to do something, and I’m kinda down. But... does that make me a bad friend?

Updates

+1 y

Yeah it’s trues we’re always around each other

[dreus095]

I don't think you're bad, if you don't want to have sex it's ok, and leave all sexual stuff you talk as part of the trust you have with each other, but if you want to do something more, go for it, casual sex, and with someone you trust, I don't see the problem, I been having sex with my best friend for 5 years, I mean not every time, just when I'm single, she's single and we both are horny 🤷‍♂️ it's a win win, I enjoy, she enjoy and no friendship ruined, heck, we even have a better friendship now

[lavarule]

Friendships with the opposite sex are tough to maintain long-term anyway. If the two of you are that close, you should probably just take it to the next level. Stop worrying about losing the friendship - you will probably lose it anyway as soon as one of you starts dating someone else. Just go for it girl. You can always make more friends.

[user_1233]

I dont think its a good idea, but you can do whatever you want. I have a personal story tied to this , i slept with my best friend and were friends with benefits and now im 6 months pregnant and having twins ,

Doing that will ruin your friendship and probually won't go back after this, and he won't see you as a friend hr will see you as someone hr saw naked

The sex might be great anf you can be friends with benefits or you can go and be together

[rachelle_13333]

If it doesn't work out between you on the sex thing it will be awkward and he will still think about seeing you naked and your relationship will change after.

[TrixiePooch]

I think at that point you would be more than a friend. Unless you are thinking about starting a real relationship, you would now be a fuck buddy.

[Asker]

It would most likely turn into friends with benefits

[TrixiePooch]

That is basically the same thing but yes.

[Asker]

Do you think friends with benefits is a bad thing?

[TrixiePooch]

My question would be why would you not want a committed relationship? You are friends with someone for a reason. Usually because they are a great person and you have things in common. What better person to build a relationship off of instead of someone you don't even know?

[Devourtheuniverse]

Very rarely are friends with benefits close to each other. Because if they were close to each other emotionally, they would start feeling things for each other.. And then they're a couple all but in name and are only in denial or in fear of each other's rejection due to the initial set up. Sex is designed to bring people even closer.. If you're a true friend with benefits you drift further from him. And you will both be using each other for sex so you won't mind discarding that friend with benefits if you want to. That's how friends with benefits works. I can't think of how it could be both ways. Even if I could, it would be theoretical and a negligible possibility. That's just how relationships work.

But what if he wanted more? Would that scare you?

[Asker]

The only thing that scares me is that I’d lose a good friendship, on the other hand id probably gain something much better.

[TrixiePooch]

@Devourtheuniverse She already said they were like best buds.

[Asker]

We’re always around each other, so yeah

[Devourtheuniverse]

I know. I'm just saying that it would be hard for her to actually be friends with benefits with him.. There would be feelings involved and they'd either break apart or become a couple.

[Devourtheuniverse]

I agree. Why not try for a relationship? She already likes him emotionally and physically

[Devourtheuniverse]

I just wanted to reason it out and let her come to her own conclusions.

[Asker]

Thank you, you guys are really helping me make up my mind.

[Devourtheuniverse]

That's a good thing. The number one cause of divorce these days? The number one cause is that people didn't take enough time getting to know each other before sex or marriage and that their lover isn't their best friend.

Not saying you have to fall for him completely, but you're definitely not a bad friend. I say you should give it a shot if he wants to with you.

[Princerahul123]

look , if both of you agree then its okk, no problem at all, its both of your will u can have , but also dont show or tell in public or friends that you two are just friend tell them that how close you are I mean be clear to everyone about the level of relation you have with your friend.

[Tuomaaash]

It just destroys your friendship. But if the sex is good, might be worth it.

[Atterlonglongtime]

If you want to turn your friendship towards that tangent then sure go for it

But if you don't feel like doing it with him then take quick action and ensure you start indirectly saying no to him (best way would be avoid those topics)

[laurieluvsit]

If you both want to do it, there is nothing wrong with it.

[Ripper_E]

No, that doesn't make you a bad friend. Do you trust him?

[Asker]

With my life

[sexcrazed123]

i have a friend like that as well. and we ended up having awesome foreplay and fooling around. sexting and sending naked pictures of each other. major fun.

[limousin987]

It sounds like this friendship is just that.
Being intimate with him "cause you're down" is a bad idea.

[Decentguy]

the best way to ruin a friendship is to have sex with your best friend

[Asker]

Yeah, I know that’s what I’ve been telling myself.

If things did happen it would most likely turn into friends with benefits

[blackisnotacolour]

I'd agree with @Decentguy, but not like 100%.
I did that with my friend years ago, some time later she started dating one guy and we just stopped the friends with benefits thing. To be honest, we now talk about everything, even sex life in our relationships and it's not even a little bit awkward.
Just looking at my own experience I'd say it might work and not end up in losing a friend, if you can respect the fact that the other person might start dating somebody and you will have to stop that the moment this happens. If you both can live with that, it can work out.

[Decentguy]

@blackisnotacolour you are right

[dreus095]

Give that guy a medal @blackisnotacolour

[renaissancegirl]

well he obviously wants to be more than friends and if you feel like he wants to do something, does that make him a bad friend? if it doesn’t then it doesn’t make you a bad friend either.

[QuietRunner]

no, not a bad friend just know the relationship will change after having sex

[Anonymous]

Just know, you will no longer be "just friends", if you do

[NerdInDenial]

Nope you’re only bad if you lead him on

[Asker]

It’s more like he’s leading me on lol

[sexyalphamale]

Nope, time to get Schwifty

[Asker]

So you’re saying to go for it? Lol

[sexyalphamale]

100%!

[LOGESHKUMAR]

It may ruin your friendship