Ever been asked to go barefoot at a friend's house?

[Anonymous]

I visited my bff a few days ago in her home and was greeted by her and her mom at the door, both in bare feet. When I entered her house, I took off my shoes, as I always do, and then her mom said, "And while your at it, please take off your socks as well".
I was kinda surprised by that request, so I asked for reasons. She explained that their teenage son slipped on their wooden floor wearing socks and hurt himself. So they adopted a "bare feet only" rule in their house for the whole family. The rule is also for friends of their kids, since they don't want to be responsible for anyone getting hurt at their home. Only older visitors, like over 25, are left with a choice but strongly recommended to remove their socks.
Her mom also said that having everyone in bare feet would help visitors to get more relaxed and bond.

Have you ever been asked by a friend o take off your socks at their home?
And do you think it is ok to ask this?

[Anonymous]

A few months ago I was babysitting two boys. And even though their house didn't have any shoe or sock off rule, they were always taking away my shoes and socks while they're keeping their shoes and socks! It was really embarrassing for me 🙈

[Asker]

Hi there. Sorry, I just saw your post. That's weird and I can imagine that it's super embarrassing. It would have been for me, too.
So, did they give any reasons why they made you take off your shoes and socks?
And can you explain why it was so embarrassing for you?

[Opinion Owner]

Right after their mother left, they just came to me and asked for my shoes and socks. I was shocked and before I could find and appropriate response they jumped on me and took them away in seconds. They told me I have to be barefoot in their presence as I'm their "slave" now like it's a game. I found it very embarrassing because I'm shy about being barefoot, even at my own home I always wear socks. And being the only person with bare feet against my will made it even more embarrassing and even humiliating🙈

[MaidenMandy30]

Yes. And yes its okay as its their home rules. If you're not comfortable. Voice that

[Asker]

So you have been asked to remove your socks at a friend's house?
Who asked this and did they give reasons for it?

Actually I did explain to her that I feel kind of exposed having to show my bare feet, but she said, no need to be embarrassed as everyone here is barefoot and it's much nicer to see someone's bare feet than their socks.
So you would say I just have to accept that those are their rules and I will have no choice but to take off my socks when visiting their house?

[MaidenMandy30]

I've been asked more than a handful of times in my life. One was my best friends house. Some had to do with culture, others with super clean floors. Various reasons. If you're a real friend and want to visit its just best to respect their wishes. If it becomes too much for you , ask for them to come to your place or hang out somewhere else.

[Asker]

Oh, I see. So there are cultural reasons why you had to remove your socks? Like religious reasons? I just didn't know that there are cultures that require you to have bare feet at home, but it would be interesting to know more about this.
So I suppose you always did as they asked you?
And if yes, how did you feel, having to be barefoot?

Yes, probably you are right that they have the right to set the rules for their home and everyone should respect them. But would you say that the reasons they gave are reasonable?

[MaidenMandy30]

I hate my feet. So I was never thrilled about it, but yes I still followed suit as to be able to hang out. Some were absurd reasons but no matter the reason, you would want someone to respect the rules of your own home no matter your reasons

[Asker]

I understand. I can imagine it must have been difficult for you to hang out in your bare feet although you don't like to show them.
I don't really hate my feet in particular, but for some reason I feel exposed when I have bare feet. I always feel like everyone looks at my feet then. So I never wear open-toed sandals even in summer.

Actually I would really like to know the reasons they gave, why you had to take off your socks. I mean for someone like you or me it is not a small thing to ask, so at least people should state their reasons. Although in the end probably you don't have a choice but to comply anyway, regardless of the reasons given.

Well yes, I can see your point about having to respect their rules. Unfortunately we can't hang out at our home, as it is quite small and my dad is working at home, so we would be disturbing him. So we don't really have a choice but to hang out at her place, which I guess means hanging out in bare feet from now on.

[MaidenMandy30]

One reason was they were Japanese. They just did it that way. Another was just real strict about cleanliness. Another was actually allergic to certain materials

[Asker]

Ahh I see. Her mom is Japanese, too. So maybe this is also part of the explanation. Well, I guess in that case, if it's also a cultural thing, probably there's really no choice but to accept it, right?
Even though I feel really exposed without socks and feel the urge to hide my feet all the time.

I don't really understand the other reasons, though. Wearing socks shouldn't be such a problem as far as cleanliness is concerned. And if someone is allergic to certain materials and needs to be barefoot because of that, why do you have to be barefoot as well?

[MaidenMandy30]

Because that material then leaves small fibers everywhere and will cause an allergic reaction. Your question to ask yourself now is , do your feelings of being exposed outweigh your friendship?

[Asker]

Oh ok. Well, then it is understandable of course.

She is a really good friend of mine and we have been friends for years, so of course her friendship is important to me and I can't imagine giving it up.
On the other hand of course, I do feel exposed in my bare feet. But I don't really see a solution for this problem, other than just accepting that I have no choice but to take off my socks when going to their place and living with the fact that they will see my bare feet...
So probably I don't really have a choice then, have I?

[MaidenMandy30]

No choice if your friendship is more important. Luckily time goes on and you and your friend will be out in your own places to freely hang out in

[zagor]

Shoes, yes. But not socks. I would think it would be more sanitary to wear socks.

[Asker]

Well, their floors are very clean, as their mom cleans them every 1-2 days. So I don't really think it's unsanitary. Plus, since everyone is barefoot, no-one drags dirt inside the house.

But so you think she can't make me remove my socks in their house?

[zagor]

It's her house, I guess she could insist you remove you clothes if she wants. But then you don't have to enter.

[Asker]

Well, I came to visit my friend Theresa. It would have been really weird to leave, I guess. I suppose she wouldn't have understood that.

And to be fair, she insisted only that I removed my coat, my shoes and my socks. I suppose that most people wouldn't regard this as going too far, if it's just your feet that have to be bare.

[slatyb]

Removing shoes is fine. Removing socks is a strange ask.

[Asker]

I thought so, too. Turns out it might be a cultural thing, since her mom is Japanese. But the reasons she gave was that they didn't want anyone to slip on their floor, so they decided to adopt a "bare feet only" rule.
I feel exposed having to show my bare feet. But of course it is their house, so technically they have the right to tell me to remove my socks, right? Or do you think I could refuse and still enter their home?

[MeghanL]

I would most likely be barefoot already, so it would not be an issue for me.

I know people who have a shoes-off rule in their homes but no one with a bare-feet-only rule. I did see a movie where a woman asked a visitor to please remove her shoes at the door, then added and her socks as well.

[Yoda1]

I have always wondered what happens if the person is wearing pantyhose what does the parents do then because it's abuse to ask someone to remove their pants and if your wearing psnty hose under pants well it's something to try next time u go to ur friends house just wear panty hose under ur jeans

[StevenBrown88]

I’ve personally never been asked, but wouldn’t have a problem with it. Their house, their rules, and the respectful thing to do is abide by them.

[Disguise]

I always go barefoot inside house.

[Asker]

Also at other people's homes?

And what do you think about that rule that I have to take off my socks at their house?

[Disguise]

In every house.
Hygiene is also a thing!
It is also cultural.

Most times when we enter inside a house we go to washroom first to clean ourselves.
House is supposed to be better place than anywhere else.

[Asker]

So you think she has the right to make me remove my socks in their home?
And would you recommend washing my feet when entering her home?

[Disguise]

Of course she can.
You as her friend must understand her and do as she likes. Its not like she is insulting or disrespecting u.
Its their proper lifestyle.
You are her guest, she won't ask you things that would make you feel bad.

I dont recommend you washing your feet when entering home, thats old fashion now.
If you were however to stay in her house for long time and not just in living room, you better make yourslf comfortable and clean, adjusting to their house values.

[Asker]

No, of course she is not insulting me. What I mean is that I feel kind of exposed when I have bare feet around other people. I always wear socks normally, so when I have to take them off, it feels kind of weird and I feel like people are looking at my feet all the time.
But so you would say she can insist that I have to remove my socks in their home, even though it makes me feel exposed?

[Disguise]

😂😂
I dont know why you girls are like this.

If you have problem, talk to her, she would not mind if you wear them if its that important to u.
Wearing socks everywhere is your lifestyle, and i guess she is not aware of it.

by the way one thing is for sure, you shld loosen your body and not wear too much clothing, it covers you from nature, which is not good thing.

[Asker]

haha I don't know if this is a girls' thing, probably most girls wouldn't mind having to remove their socks.
Actually I did explain to her that I feel kind of exposed having to show my bare feet, but she said, no need to be embarrassed as everyone here is barefoot and it's much nicer to see someone's bare feet than their socks.
So yes, I told her, that I would prefer to wear socks, but she still insisted that I had to take them off.

[Disguise]

She must have reason.
If u wear sock, then it is sure you will attract everyone's attention in their house.
So it seems normal if u take them off, for her.

[Asker]

Yes, that's true of course. If I were wearing socks, I would stand out and attract everyone's attention.
So is she right to insist that I have to take them off, so that they can see my bare feet instead of my socks?

[Disguise]

I think she is.