I think I have feelings for my friend’s brother?

[Anonymous]

So my best friend’s brother and I have always gotten along well. We have always been more at the acquaintance level though. We text on and off and see each other when she brings me to family gatherings or adds him to a Group FaceTime. When I first met him I joked about how him and I are gonna get married since we’re kinda alike and just get along really well and I love their family. It has been a running joke that me and their family has been in on. My friend has asked him if he finds me and attractive and he said yes. We also call each other husband and wife as a joke. So recently I actually got to spend a decent amount of time with him. He’s younger (senior in high school) and came to tour the college I go to (I’m a sophomore in college). I know there’s a mild taboo about older women and younger guys (the age gap is only like 2 years). So when I gave him and his friends a tour we spent the whole day together and I really enjoyed it. I’m catching myself catching feelings now and I don’t know how to feel or what to do about him being my best friend’s brother and younger than me. Any advice?

[Punkbuster107]

It’s totally okay. I know girls as much as 5 years older than the guy where it seems to work out, and 2 years really isn’t a big deal at all. The important thing is that you make sure he is okay with it (almost certainly would be I imagine). I think your biggest challenge will be giving him clear enough cues to *know* he is out of the friend zone and allowed to consider you as a romantic interest, without straight up taking the lead and robbing him of the experience of pursuing you with any initiative of his own. If your relationship has been established as one where the idea of you two being romantically involved is a joking matter, you’ll need to snip that in the bud ASAP. You’ll need to find a way to make it clear and obvious to him that he is allowed to ask you out, or he probably never will, for fear that you’d laugh at him.


I think the part where he is your BFF’s brother is a non-issue. It sounds like that’s only a positive factor if anything. As long as you don’t intend to treat him like trash and date him irresponsibly with no expectation of things having the potential to end in a happily ever after, then I think her and the whole family should be thrilled to know he’s with a girl they approve of.