Special needs baby ignoring me after I gave birth 36 hours ago. Did I break her heart?

[Anonymous]

36 hours ago I gave birth to my second child, a baby boy named Kian. And I already have a two years old named Rosie. Rosie is a special needs baby, she is a little far behind for her age but making so many progress!

I gave birth on my couch as she was napping and then I went to bed and both my kids were there with me. Usually I wake up and stay in bed snuggling with her but this time when she woke up I was breastfeeding my newborn and she just kept looking at him and me - she's a very smiley girl - with no expression. I got her and sat her up started talking and she threw herself back and rolled to one side. My boyfriend came to get her and she rested her head on his shoulder with her pacifier on just staring at me with this sad hurt expression. She is super attached to me and just this morning when I tried to snuggle she kept staring all over my face as if she didn't recognized me.

What do I do guys? It is breaking my heart, she hasn't smiled at me since the baby came.

[midnightmoon05]

You can always show her love, give her security and the attention she needs.

the new born usually sleeps a lot. While you take your time to heal, make sure to also give her the love she needs... also show her how she can also be independent by praising her, guiding her the positives she is doing.

good luck

[midnightmoon05]

Thank you for MHO. enjoy your babies

[boggboss]

She will not have the understanding whats going in than think you have replaced her to some degree just make sure to show her love like before kids with needs find chamge hard

[Massageman]

She thinks that she has been replaced by the newborn. It's very normal.
Continue to give her attention just as you have in the past.

[jasco]

she's jealous or she thinks you have replace her, or it might be something similar to that, but more then likely she feels threaten by the fact that someone else has taken her spot

[Anonymous]

So you gave birth to your baby on the couch and went to bed as normal?

[Asker]

No, not as normal only to be closer to my daughter

[Opinion Owner]

No midwife?

[Asker]

I would be dead if I didn't have a midwife

[Opinion Owner]

Why would you be dead

[Asker]

Imagine giving birth on your own without any professional help? I mean I'm sure so women could do it but that's not the case for me. Birth is a magical experience but intense, overwhelming and scary

[NYCQuestions1976]

You gave birth on your couch?

[Asker]

Yes! Wanted to try the pool thing but it was way too much for me

[NYCQuestions1976]

It's the 21st century. There are hospitals and medical facilities built specifically for childbirth.

[Asker]

And?

[NYCQuestions1976]

Deliberately giving birth on your couch instead of a proper medical facility is irresponsible.

[Asker]

Home birth?

[NYCQuestions1976]

Yes. Midwives (if you had one there with you) are not doctors or even nurses.

[Asker]

Ok. The baby is here, he's fine I'm fine. What about it?

[NYCQuestions1976]

The risk of infant death increases greatly, as well as seizures during and just after birth. Also, developmental issues can arise later in life. There are sites and links with this information all over the internet. They're not hard to find. In an era of science and technology, it's a selfish decision to make. Whomever told you this was a good and safe idea lied to you. Sorry.

[Asker]

Nothing to be sorry for. It's my body, son and decision that affects you about 0%.

[NYCQuestions1976]

Okay that's fine. I never said it wasn't your body or that you weren't allow to make selfish decisions. I said sorry because someone obviously lied to you and convinced you that this was a good idea, when the science clearly shows otherwise. Hopefully there won't be any negative consequences. Would you rather I had lied to you instead? I'm not a liar.

[Asker]

Got it. Now what?

[NYCQuestions1976]

What do you mean, "Got it. Now what?" I was just giving you actual factual information that you didn't clearly didn't have beforehand. Again, would you rather I had lied to you instead?

[Asker]

I mean I don't care about your opinion but keep going I guess 😂

[NYCQuestions1976]

The risks, at birth and later on in life, clearly increase greatly. That's science and statistics, not my opinion. However, as you pointed out, you're free to make selfish decisions. I just hope your children don't suffer from the consequences of your actions.

[Asker]

They won't. Thanks

[NYCQuestions1976]

Well good luck. 👍

[Asker]

Thanks