Why are dads so angry and impatient with their sons?

Question

why can't they chill

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Toxic masculinity that was beaten into their heads by their own fathers and grandfathers. Instead of attempting to break the cycle, they continue to destroy their own sons with the same toxic masculinity because it's all they know. Women are literally the same way with their daughters.

So my sons father is a fucking dick. I actually refuse to allow him around our children anymore because he is so toxic. He will literally call our sons bitches, whine asses or sissys if they show a single shred of emotion. So, I got a restraining order. My now boyfriend does the same but minor in comparison to my ex. He doesn't call names or anything but he definitely has a higher expectation for my boys than he does my daughter. I'm the opposite. I have higher expectations for my daughter than I do my boys. It's just the way that we were raised and how we were taught to do things. Breaking the cycle is hard.

And just so we are clear, not every parent is like this. Not every man reeks of toxic masculinity and not every woman is hard on their daughter. Some people do actively try to be better than their own parents were. But again, it's hard to break that cycle.

TayTay21 · Accepted Answer

I think like with my dad, they get worried that their sons won't amount to anything if they don't push them hard. My oldest brother R. D. got the worst of my dad's pushing, and he still has a bad relationship with him. My dad claims he only did it to make R. D. into something, but R. D. says he even got harsh treatment when he was like a 7 and 8 yo. I think some dads just have this fear that their sons might grow up to be nothings and outcasts who can't hold down jobs and can't get girls.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

You cannot truly understand because you are not a man. I can suggest a few possible factors at work. For many of us, a man proves part of his worth as a man by being the king of the castle, the resident handyman, and the problem solver for the clan. When boys become teenagers, they feel that same need to do those things, and they try - subconsciously - to usurp the father's position in the household. That creates a competition that is usually resolved when the boy leaves home and acquires his own castle. Part of that competition seems to be innate and biologically programmed.

Mothers and their daughters often have similar conflicts. And you probably need to be female to truly understand such conflicts.

Chriscunning · Accepted Answer

Well there is a lot of other things that cause dads 'to span'. Anxiety and depression often come on strong after the birth of a new kid. There is a lot of pressure on a Dad to provide. Similar to "baby blues" a mom has, dad's go through very similar things to.

Some dad's (or males) are just also more aggressive. This is related to testosterone levels and/or upbringing, bullying, abuse, etc. You will find they generally are just more aggressive to anybody really. Since small children seem to push buttons it's a lot easier to "snap".

Anonymous · Answer

It's a cycle. They were raised poorly by their fathers and now they trying to push that "man up" bullshit on their sons by treating them like shit. A lot of parents take out their frustrations on their children too. My brother and I experienced it first-hand, we were punching bags...

pajamasam · Answer

Because our dad was the same way. Then we developed absurdly high expectations of ourself. Then we failed to meet those expectations. Then we fear our son might make the same mistakes we did. So then we get angry and impatient when they don't do well... and the cycle goes on forever until a big tiddy goth girlfriend comes along to break the cycle with her love and affection.

Lynx122 · Answer

In the house I grew up in none of the dads were like that. My dad was kinda indifferent though after some time but I think he just couldn't connect with me very well.

Steve1071 · Answer

Most aren’t. Mine was kinda laid back and let me chose my own path in life as long as I didn’t cause trouble and get arrested cause if I did he’d bury me under the jail.🙃 and then mom would re-bury me again also under the jail.

Y2KxD · Answer

Because boys have to grow up into men, and have careers to survive. Girls can just be girls their whole. lives and use the golden parachute of marriage if they don't feel like working. No guy can get a girl if he is a bum.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Boys have egos and like to challenge authority and men literally hate that ish a lot; I know I do which is why I perfer to be a dad to girls. I won't tolerate crap from boys at all.

Gedaria · Answer

Could be how they were treated Possibly stressed out. It's not normally anything to do with the boy..

ManHater · Answer

Because we don't want our offspring to turn into little twinkle toed liberal fruit cakes who are complete pushovers.

Anonymous · Answer

Why are girls so self centered and materialistic. Oh look, I did the same thing you did. Shame on me. And you.

EssenceOfLight · Answer

My father was definitely the "good cop" most of time.

Daviddd5412 · Answer

That's not true for all dads

pandyponde · Answer

*some also look up at their upbringing.

Iron_Man · Answer

They want what’s best for them

Anonymous · Answer

Most of them are not.

pervertedjester · Answer

Depends on the dad.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Not all of them are

ChefPapiChulo · Answer

Their*

emiliadavid · Answer

Not all of them are

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