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Thanks for asking such a wonderful question.
Having a sister close to my age, in my opinion, made me think more clearly in how to treat a woman. Anytime anyone was mean to my sister, I became very protective over her feelings. Part of this is being the oldest sibling because I was like this with my younger brother as well.
As we got older and boys came into the picture, I saw first hand how being cruel to a girl can be hurtful. I did not want my sister being treated poorly by a boy, so I realized that I would never treat a girl poorly or disrespectfully. I wanted to be a good example. I don't think it was ever in my nature to mistreat anyone to begin with but I think having a sister made it easier to see the why behind being a better person.
When me and my siblings hit our twenties, I recall a conversation with my sister where she had said a girlfriend of hers that was complaining how all guys are pigs. Her friend did go through a series of bad experiences, and I remember thinking it was understandable considering the circumstances.
After my sister shared her friend's story, I asked why she was telling me about it. She then said how she told her friend not to feel like that about all guys because her two brothers weren't like that, proceeded to say nice things why, and suggested there's good ones out there too.
It might have been the first moment I ever felt really complimented and acknowledged. In that moment I realized I did a half way decent job at being an older brother and a decent human being. Since then we've always been protective of each other when we were in relationships. We always have our backs as brother and sister. I'm lucky to have both a great brother and sister.
Thanks. It was nice to write down and to think about.
I mean kinda. I do know I taught my sister about guys, because she's gone on about it at length.
Otherwise, a lot of what I heard from my sisters about dating and guys revolved around "guys are only after one thing" and "guys only want the skinny blonde girls" and stuff like that. And mostly what that did was repress my sexuality and feel like it was demonic, and then feel bad for being attracted to girls when I am, like I'm not supposed to be attracted to this girl because she is blonde, or that girl because she is skinny. So like in that sense it kinda messed me up more than anything. I mean I can't blame them because we are all pretty much the same age, so they were going through the same stuff. But a teenage girl is generally doing all the dating while the teenage guy is a bit of a bystander until he is older. Or perhaps that's just because they were older sisters.
But I did learn about what they like in their boyfriends. How they met them. Stuff like that. And they were always my biggest advocates for dating.
My brother did many many girls and women REAL dirty. He's a much better person now, but OMG he was a dog. He had no heart whatsoever.
I learned a huge number of tricks and tactics a person can use to deceive you, and to never tolerate seriously questionable behavior. I learned how to spot a dog.
I also had to hang with him, all the super macho dudes in my family, and all of his male friends, and I learned to be comfortable with males. Talking to a guy is easy for me, especially a guy I'm into. I learned to be straight forward with guys, and that guys are super easy to talk to.
Other than that, I also learned how to defend myself through my brother, and I'm not afraid to fight anyone if I have to. I learned that if I have a weapon and I'm ruthless, I can win a fight against a stronger person.
I can see how this would be hard to answer, as no one can really compare to the other side. I can say having an older sister and brothers both younger and older definitely helped me. Both my sister and my brothers really helped out a lot, had I not had a sister my brothers still would of. I know that also I've been able to help my younger brother with dating, tips and such. That he may not of gotten otherwise.
I know a family of all girls, no boys and they all really struggled to date and understand boys and guys as they got older. They had no clue how to interact with them and some of them got taken advantage of cause they didn't know boys did that.
I'm interested in those who have no opposite gender siblings what they say.
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I had only brothers, and I struggled with dating big time. I used to think girls were aliens, I didn't understand them. I was clueless and I watched my friends who had sisters talk to their sisters, learn and grow and had way better success in asking out and dating girls.
It wasn't until I was 19 when I finally had a friend who was female and we never got romantically involved, but probably could of if I had made a move but she helped me to understand they are not aliens and how to interact a lot better.
So I know this isn't directly an answer to your question, just stating I wished I had one, it would of helped me greatly as it did for my friends.
It is a bit difficult to say because I surely don't know how it would be to have grown up without a brother :D. It has possible helped me being comfortable and pretty much myself when in company with men, but I don't understand men better I feel.
What I learned from life in general, maybe also having 3 siblings in total ;).. is that people are crazy different and it has very little to do with gender, at least I cannot use knowlege of stereotypical gender based traits on individuals, too many are just not like the average on several aspects. Which makes it more complicated understanding people, but also more interesting getting to know someone new :)
I'm not sure if having a yonuger sister helped me in dating specifically (save for when I'm specifically asking her opinion on a dating issue), but I do think having that brother-sister bond where we can be goofy and playfully tease each other has translated to making me a more playful person in general, which in turn helps in dating because my style of flirting is quite playful. That brotherly dynamic of "I can tease you because I love you" seems to carry over into a flirting context quite easily, and I'm not sure that would come as naturally to me if I didn't have a lifetime's worth of winding up my sister lol
Not necessarily a sibling, but I had a female cousin about 3 years older than me. My mom and aunt lived together for a while before mom joined the Army and I also moved in with my aunt while my mom deployed. We were close enough that we might as well have been siblings. My cousin discovered I was dating a girl when I was 13 and she told me I could either sit down and talk to her about it or she will tell my aunt and mom (I was trying to keep the relationship secret). Apparently my cousin knew of this girl's reputation and was afraid the girl was sleeping around. She explained signs of cheating to watch out for and also what a healthy relationship should look like. She ended up being right. When she found out the girl was using me she beat the crap out of her and made her admit the cheating to me. Even to this day this cousin is almost always the first to know when I'm dating again.
Definitely helped me tho I'd say it's mostly helped with me on the emotional connection side. I connect with girls better in part because I have a close relationship with my sister.
Some knowledge as well like girls want a sense of control even if they don't actually have it. For example, my sister said she wants a man who will save her but she wants to be able to save herself the whole time.
And I pressed her saying, "so you want a man to risk his life going into a burning building to save you, almost dying. When you could have just gotten out of the dsmn building yourself?". She semi nervously laughed and said yes
That conversation made me understand a lot about the emotional mindset many girls have and I see that everywhere. Control is a big thing for girls. They don't want to FEEL weak, even if objectively they are.
I agree with what she said but I think I would phrase it better to be that women can save themselves/have control but like to pretend we donât when men are around because thatâs the âtraditionalâ way.
@victoriaxoxo
Semantics honestly. They want the feeling of control whether or not it's present.
I have a little sister who constantly tried to start fights or argue with me. Her behavior played a part in my dating that I didn't want to date a woman who acted like she did since it made me miserable.
Although we are older now and she is married, she hasn't given much advice outside of the generic advice women tend to give men of, be yourself, be confident, date outside your standards kind of deal.
She has gotten a lot sweeter in the sense that she believes most women would be lucky to have me.
I have a younger sister but I've never really talked to her about dating. But I think it can be helpful it just isn't helpful to me because I never asked for her help.
There are some things where she helped me though like putting good outfits to where together or making better photos of myself.
I've even asked for her doing so but I realized it was helpful.
I have 5 sister's... They know the ins and outs of being a lady, and have helped me in every relationship, particularly in areas I don't understand.
I treated every women as well as I could, because (might sound weird), I wouldn't want some guy talking to my sister in a cruel way, so I won't do that to any women. Cheers
During the time we were growing up we faught as catacand dogs tbh.
I have scars lol i was beaten by broom sticks by her .
She used to do things and put on me and to escape from her friends she used to put blame on me literally for anything.
We were rivals , i was so pissed of i wouldn't even eat the food cooked by her , well she was a bad cook 😂.
Well we didn't speak anything remotely related to sex talk typical conservative Indian Family literally everything is taboo
And she showed that she was innocent not sure how she was with her friends.
She was very caty , like damn i hated that.
And i think in India in conservative families people behave very differently than what they are with there friends they have a mask on of chastity as it compulsary.
So nope i didn't learn anything and nothing has helped.
But this isn't imply to all but only to certain part of people
Well i had 5 sisters and grew up with them including cousins the only way i understood is in brotherly manner and hence every girl saw a brother in me because I had developed maybe such mannerisms đ€Ł.
It's totally a different relationship and your views would be different as feeling would be different
So i guess it doesn't help at all
I think growing up with sisters helped me understand the types of things that girls are into. Because otherwise I would have just been like, "Ew. That's gay a f.". But I'm not a "macho man," because I grew up in a house with females, and I felt close to my sisters and wanted to get along with them.
Now, does that help me in dating? No; not in my experience. Because apparently girls are romantically attracted to people who are the opposite of them, not the same as them. Oh well...
The only silver lining is that if I ever have a daughter, I think I would be a really good "girl dad."
u very interesting question... I have no sisters but brothers, and I sure learned plenty of what NOT to do as a man when it comes to dating and relationships, as well as some other things in this life... my older brother was a good example of what NOT to do...
but that wasn't the question (=
Honestly, I donât think I learned anything from my brother. Heâs a few years younger, so that might factor into it. But he was always very private about his relationships. I remember talking openly about my boyfriend/crush etc with my family and he never really commented. Itâs not that he didnât care, his focus was just elsewhere. I also know that at least two of his friends teased him about me being âhotâ or having a crush on me, which I know annoyed him quite a bit.
I suspect so. I think there are factors you'd need to account for, though: number of said siblings- what applies to one (wo) man won't apply to them all- and position in birth order, since if you learn something from someone younger, you're more likely (I imagine) to realize it than if you just pick it up as you're growing up.
I'm significantly older than my siblings so... no, I don't think so lol
No way in hell could my 10-year-old brothers have helped me when I was 18.
I probably helped THEM understand girls though.
I have triplet siblings (2 boys and a girl) and I'm each one's favorite sibling so... that's something maybe.
I really wish I had had help from my sister in dating, but I came from a family where my mother did not believe in dating. Yeah. Really. I had to escape to college in another town in order to find out what females were like.
I might add that it turned out that college girls are really incredible!
My sis would give me lots of advice or comments, suggestions etc some of which I would totally forget lol.
she also asked for a debrief as well.
at times it could be my best friend and sis both offering suggestions on who to date or who had asked about me.
I have one sibling - a sister who is three years my junior. I went out and started doing my own thing at age 16. I actually started going to dances and trying to hit on girls when I was around 13. But I didn't gain any insights or learn anything from my sister.
No. My sisters are over a decade older than me, they had there own lives and families I never talked to them about dating. I had an issue with physical intimacy, didn't confined in anyone. Took me many years to reach out for help breaking that barrier
Never really ocurred to me to look at my sisters for such examples. They were always a category of their own as my siblings so I did not think of them as girls like any other girls. Plus, my older sister has made not so great romantic choices so sad as it is to say, she represents the kind of girl I'd stay away from.
I have an older sister.
I have not learned anything from her, that could be usefuöl on the dating world.
I often hoped for a sister that was really pretty super model, so I could be the nightmare to all those who want to fuck her or even date her. The movie are we there yet, visions that well, not with the sister but the mother.
No my sister was extremely unhelpful in every way. She was very closed off and didn't like me also she is homosexual I don't know if that had anything to do with it though. We never even got close enough to discuss these kind of things.
Um, for it to work for me, I think I needed a younger or older sister.
It did teach me some things that I didn't want in a relationship though. I hate the idea of gender roles specifically because of them and my father.
I have sisters that are a bit younger then me and they where both tomboys. They where more like us brothers. So no help in dating there, if anything they where late in the game and bad at being female dates. And we all know that is a lot easier.
Yeah, you learn their manipulation tricks and shit so then in real life you see other women using similar manipulation strategies and guys falling for it. Yeah helps stay away from toxic peole cus u know what to look for.
When my partner takes longer that usual to reply my messages I think of my brother who ignores my messages most of the time because he's busy with something more important and only reaches out when he can or doesn't reach out at all LOL.
Yes I've learned something that are quite frankly disgusting but I also went over to my crush's house and it seems like he does the same quite frankly discussing things and I am not going to list those because of personal reasons
My brothers (both older) often warn me that guys can be jerks. "It takes one to know one." Lol. Yeah, my brothers were total jerks but they always came through for me.
No, I haven't... but they're 12-13 years older than me so we never spoke about such things. And they always seemed pretty much adult from what I can remember.
i have 2 older brother, and i'm youngest. but what i learn from them nothing about dating than anime, video games, how to be a good hardworker, and gossiping our parent lol.
My half brothers are both married with kids, we never really discuss sex much, but my female cousins were a wealth of information on all things carnal and amorous.
Nope but then again my sister is a lesbian sooooo 😂
She single?
That's sweet <3
That's really odd
Definitely I grew up with my cousin who is like a brother to me and he was my best advisor when it came to dating in the past
Nope, I have two older sisters, but growing up and still till this day, I struggle with my shyness when it comes to girls that I like.
I hardly see my brother but his mean ass bullies me hard when we do hangout and we end up fighting lmfao guess it taught me to defend myself
No. My brother is 11 years younger, he taught me how to be a mother. Dating and relationship is often not much different. lol
not helpful at all, we have quite an age gap so we never were around each other much or spend much time together
No haha, my sister started pretty much screaming at me whenever I would go to talk to her in her teens so I never really developed a relationship with her beyond that :)
I said no but I lied. The guys who are into my sister really woke me up to how SILLY simping is. I've known her my whole life, she ain't that special bro.
While it has helped at understanding the opposite gender it has not helped with dating.
Like being aware of what effects periods may have is of no use in flirting.
No. I have an opposite gender sibling but it hasn't really helped me at all in dating!
I have a kid sister that is 12 years younger than me.
It would of been nice to have a sister close to my age growing up. My mother brainwashed me to kiss girls asses when it can to dating and that was hard to unlearn.
I have 5 brothers. I doubt if it helped me in dating.
i've learned some stuff really nothing to do with dating
No. I have an opposite gender sibling but it hasn't really helped me at all in dating!
The only thing I learned from my two brothers is how extremely sensitive testicles are. I used to hit their balls all the time when I was younger lol.
Great question. I donât have a sibling of the opposite sex, but I can see how that would potentially give a person a leg up in dating.
Yeah I have. Donât get me wrong though I didnât get into incest it was more of a âhow does she want to be treatedâ âshe wants to be treated like a normal humanâ etc.
No because I only have two sisters, the one I lived with for most of my childhood was a psychological liar and a thief and my other sister I only visited sometimes with my dad when I was younger
I don't have a sister but I've always wondered if having a sister would have changed my dating life.
Do you want existential dread? Because if I answered what I learned you'd get it.
I grew with my sister talking about how boys are dogs and violent menaces, when she was the horny creepy dog who physically bullied an entire school.
Have her cry how I would never understand being a woman and being at risk of DV, when she never suffered DV from anyone but our mom and only while as a kid, and the fact that I saw her draw blood from her ex's face. And I have suffered DV, including from her.
And then having men, with stellar records, perpetuating her bullshit, even when some have been at her hands and being able to retell it and then looking at their terrified faces when confronted with such.
sure... i know not to treat girls like shit like i often see a lot of guys do
Yes, my sister has given me some good advice.
she is a lot younger than I am.
I'm an only kiddo. No sibs.
My brother is 21 and SUPER immature.
No not really but again heâs only 12
Nope not at all
Hasn't helped
yes i have
Hardly
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