What is the best way to raise children?

[Desconhecida]

[ohshee]

From 5 to 10 years old if I got in trouble for whatever reason I was beat with a belt I never understood that how do you get to say you love somebody but beat the fuck out of them until they're black and blue and then they say I love you it's bullshit
I promised myself if I ever have kids I would not lay a hand on them I would never even yell at them well I got my wish and I did exactly what I said you don't disciplined you don't restrict you communicate and you give them more responsibility you do calmly because every word out of your mouth every part of your body that moves its speaks and that's what teaches your children to be who they are is by the way you treat them. You have to raise them to become better than you are in every manner you don't need to be the kid you don't even need to spank a kid you don't need to yell you don't need to scream because all you're doing is making it about yourself and that's bulshit it's about the child

[DamnSam]

I can tell you, if you want to prevent mistakes your parents made by trying to prevent what your parents wanted you to prevent from...

As an example, my ex thinks that she got too much attention as kid, so she handles our 3yo daughter like she is 12 when she falls or anything... I on the other hand can not remember that my father ever did hold my hand while walking or lifting me up, which damaged my relationship to him pretty hard...

Kids are like plants, the more you do right in the beginning, the lesser damage do failures later

If you want good parenting tips, go a generation further, these have seen how their methods play out after 20 years... like if you know somebody well raised, talk to their parents...

[cryscrys1]

Monkey see monkey do
Raise yourself first then raise your kids be good your kid will see good. Don’t teach them life by theories and blah blah blah show it to them. If they act so differently from you then you enter their world and learn from them.. don’t force them into anything to fulfill your shorty human nonsense ego let it be.. and they will always be with you. If you don’t let it be they will drop you to a nursing home.

[dustybiker]

With lots of love and respect, but also with consequences to actions.

[dustybiker]

Thank you for mhg.

[Lonewulf57]

I have no clue as I never had any, nor helped my parents raise any kids to "know" an answer to this. That said, I think consistency, caring, nurturing and providing are key basics. However, different qualities are required at different times of their life. For instance, I'm thinking about adopting one or two kids, and I thought about this question in relation to my circumstances. If the cild is in their teens, then the most formative years are long gone. Psychological studies suggest1 & 2 are the most formative years

[Lonewulf57]

Sorry, I fell asleep midway through posting (my opinion must be riveting!) and woke up and didn't realizè I hadn't finished.

Anyway, a teen only needs to be finished up (speaking of finishing up), which is still important, as it's the years before they start living on their own and providing for themselves.
To me, it's less telling them how to live, but asking them what they think. Trying to get them to make practical use of what they've learned so far.

[TonyMetal___86]

1st, the father and mother should always be available for their kids at home...

2nd, the mother is better to be at home as a HOUSEWIFE to raise and give all the necessary love and carw for her children with the father backing her up...

3rd, the parents should be in love and show their love towarda each other in front of their kids...

4th, there should be a day out where the family spends their time together, have fun and play with each other...

5th, everyday they must sit together and talk with each other to help each other if someone is having troubles... etc

[Chris9087]

Be consistent so they respect and trust you.
Be patient, it isn't enough to just give a child a time out if they're misbehaving. You also need to talk to them and make sure they understand exactly why their behaviour was a problem. I used to get my son to tell why he was in time out before he could leave.
Once he understood what the issue was, I would give him a hug and he could go back to playing. That way he wasn't just repeating bad behaviour, he actually understood the situation.

[HighlyVolatile]

From my understanding, it's a balancing act between hands-off and hands-on. I don't know what's the sweet spot but I can see faults in the extremities at least. We don't want to protect or discipline our children too much that it takes away their sense of exploration and self-discovery. At the same time, we don't want to just let them do whatever they want in a way that they don't learn how to navigate society as adults.

[HighlyVolatile]

I also think physical fitness is huge. Have you ever been around kids or have some of your own? They take a lot of energy! I thought I was fit until I started hanging out 5-year olds. Their energy is on a whole new level.

[HighlyVolatile]

To find the right balance between too disciplinary vs. too restrictive/protective, I think we need to be in a decent mood even when the kids are bouncing off the walls and we've had the hardest day at work. I think it helps to be reasonably fit for that.

[HighlyVolatile]

Err, "not too disciplinary", sorry.

[EmmaMary]

@highlyvolatile

What or why were you hanging out with 5 year olds?

[HighlyVolatile]

@EmmaMary My wife and I lack children (a dream of mine) but our siblings have many. So I have many nephews and nieces (including in-laws). Just recently my sister came to Japan with her kid and her husband and they wanted to take some time off to settle down since they've been staying in a single-bedroom apartment with their daughter for five months straight, and then had to go into quarantine for weeks. So my wife and I have been babysitting their daughter (my niece) at our place for the past couple of weeks. She is 5.

But besides my niece, I'm one of those weird guys on here who thinks that men and women can be friends. I've always thought that from the time I was young. So I had my share of single mothers as friends, and they'd leave me with their kids to take some time off or even date other guys. I never minded. I'm not sure I'm cut out to be a parent but I can hang with kids. I never lost touch with the types of things that kids enjoy.

[HighlyVolatile]

@EmmaMary The hard part I find though since they aren't my own kids is discipline. I don't want to step out of my plate and act like a parent when I'm not the parent. And I have a hard time not finding all the mischief kids make funny, so I'm trying to find it in me to hold back laughter and find a stricter side to me when they're bouncing off the rails. I don't know if I'd make a good parent at all. I sometimes really doubt it. I'm interested in learning though.

[EmmaMary]

@highlyvolatile

Thank you so much for the wonderful explanation and for the insight to your background... It's very much appreciated.

[HighlyVolatile]

@EmmaMary Cheers! I'm at a point in life where having kids of my own is my biggest dream. Most of my friends all have their own now. I know it's hard and I know I can't imagine how truly hard it is. But I'm tired of being the guy who doesn't have a reason to go home early at night on nights out because my friends have kids and I don't. That might sound like vanity but I don't think it is. I genuinely want more responsibility. My wife and I have a good thing going. We can adventure in ways many couples our age don't. But I think we could use more responsibility beyond work. And every time I interacted with kids it's like I'm seeing the world through a fresh pair of eyes. They see things in a different way and sometimes they offer so much insight between their fumbled words. So I study a lot of psychological papers about the most effective parenting dreaming about this. But I'm at best a theorist with very limited field experience.

[Interstate]

With loyalty, honesty and with genuine Christianity!

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Let them explore but with proper guidance and understandings. It will help them trust you better than anyone.

[abc3643]

Get them a step-ladder. This will get them higher off the ground.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@abc3643
That joke fell flat

[abc3643]

@MysteriousDarkness... if they fall off the step-ladder, yes.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@abc3643
🤦🏻‍♂️

[Desconhecida]

Lol 😆 🤣 😂

[msc545]

Very carefully and thoughtfully and kindly and gently. Children are precious.

[Dragonpurple]

A mother and father that get along is ideal, otherwise hopefully parents that do what is best for their children.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Love, discipline, guidance and teaching them early on to learn to be strong, resilient and independent because they gonna need that as adults in this world.

[MTC29]

My mother was a single mom and that is exactly how she raised me and my sister. It paid off. I never asked for or expected anything. I had to work for everything.

[exitseven]

Be fair and consistent. Do not be a hypocrite and do not resort to physical violence.

[jahaims]

This is such a vague question I feel like the only appropriate answer is replying with an essay or something vague.

[Z1pTD]

Have clear expectations and never fail to reward when those are met and to say something when they aren’t.

[UdontNeedtoknow]

In a traditional family and home setting with a housewife. In fact, if the kids are homeschooled it's even better.

[pizzalovershouse]

With love an making shure you teach them to be good

[Jessica405]

LOL! Literally? Pick them up!

[Djaay]

Teach them what not to do and raise them in CHRIST.

[Hulk30]

that's really subjective to the childs ethnicity sex sign and possible conditions as well

[KatherineJ]

With love and patience.

[skyeee_]

never ever compare them to other kids.

[Naughtyboy71]

Always make time for them and listen

[TommyMountainFigure]

Stand them on a chair. Instantly raised :)

[LindsayLesling]

With little exposure to social media

[ragooo8]

As Christians ✝️

[annabananna]

I like authoritative style of parenting.

[KruckJak]

Lift them up by their waist and off the ground.

[MrTaboo]

With discipline

[Jingi18]

In a two-parent home.

[BarryLiverstone]

High bed

[Anonymous]

in Christ