People telling me I’m overreacting when I’m being left out by my friends?

[Anonymous]

I rang my parents just to talk about how I feel hurt that I feel left out by my friends at university. They keep hanging out without me and not inviting me to stuff and I guess it just makes me feel a bit alone. It got to a point where I was crying to my mum over the phone I couldn’t help it. My mum basically said I’m overreacting and that there’s a war going on and I’m being “a twat” and that it’s a non-issue. Is she right? I get there’s a war which is way bigger than any problem than I could have, but I can’t help feeling sad about this. Am I being selfish for feeling sad?

[Biancam13]

Hmm, I see what your mum was getting at but I think her saying those things to you was a little invalidating. Anyone would be sad over feeling left out, and saying there are bigger problems than yours isn’t really helpful. Maybe tell your mum how you feel when she invalidates your feelings.

[Asker]

Thank you 💕, I just feel like they’re being condescending over how I feel. Ya get me?

[Anonymous]

it's not selfish, just because there's a war doesn't mean all other problems disappear or that any other problems become less important. If your friends are leaving you out on purpose, then maybe it's time to drop them and find new ones. I know that's hurtful and difficult but there comes a time when we realize who our real friends are... if they are pushing you to the side without reasons it means something. Drop them too. but make new ones.

[slatyb]

Wow, your mother isn’t very supportive. No, you aren’t selfish for feeling sad. Is there any on-campus counseling available to you?

[skyeee_]

surprised you still call them your friends