Should I give $10,000 to my meth addict friend?

[zeitgeist057]

So the backstory is my friend has struggled with addiction a long time, and has a hard time doing well in life. They don't want to be a part of government and society, which I totally understand, but they do it to the extent that it damages them consistently. Ending up in jail, on drugs, losing everything gambling.

But they also helped me with some information, that led to me purchasing crypto way, way before it blew up. So I made a lot of money on this information with my investments. They didn't give me any money, so I don't feel I owe them anything. But this is a close friend and I wish I could do something nice for them. I'd like to help them turn their life around, but I don't see it happening. I think if I gave them $100 or $10,000, they would just throw it away on gambling or drugs, so it would be a waste. I'm looking for some perspectives what people think I should do if anything. Maybe get them something nice, but again, even if I bought them a car, they'd just sell it and blow the money.

Another part of this story is this friend doesn't contact me, is tough to get a hold of, doesn't return my calls or email or texts, but is always happy to see me when I finally get through to them and visit. We haven't spoken in about 3 years now, and I've tried many times over the years to leave messages, etc.

What do you think? Try to help? Let it go? Something else?

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Don't do it. I've learned about drug addicts that they need a slow and gradual return to normalcy. You give that guy 10k you're gonna kill him or someone else. Drug addicts are master con artists, they can con themselves.

Their brains aren't wired like a normal person's.

Even if that person would never do it to the self, I can garuentee you someone from their past will find a way back into that person's life, it could be just for a day. What do you think that person will do to try to use their friend doing well to get drugs?

Don't put your friend in that position, they need to suffer a little longer and get back up on their own feet. I know it's hard to watch, but they need you emotionally, for support more than anything else.

[TheMajesticKing777]

They will most likely spend it on drugs speaking from a mind that was once addicted to drugs, meth is 10x more addictive than what I ever consumed, going broke is how I knew I had a problem, I changed but not many people do unless they decide too, what you can do is try giving them like $100 dollars and put them to the test, tell them that you will give them 100 dollars if they can show you that they will do something productive and beneficial for themselves with it and that they won't spend it on drugs, if they manage to control themselves then maybe they are strong enough to use a bigger amount of money for something productive and it will motivate them to do something else besides drugs

[TheMajesticKing777]

by the way at this point, them spending it anywhere else besides drugs is productive and beneficial to them, even if it's brand new shoes or a phone, your goal is to aim away from the drugs and choosing anything besides the drugs is a good sign and counts

[zeitgeist057]

I really like your idea, but my issue with it is I don't really want to be so controlling, and also knowing my friend it would just piss them off to have that sort of "here's a carrot, be good and you can have another" control over them.

[zeitgeist057]

but defo really great idea. I would just have to frame it in a way carefully.

[TheMajesticKing777]

Well you aren't forced to give your money away, if they want the money then you have the rights to give them conditions, it's not even like you are doing it for your benefit, it's for theirs, you don't gotta say it like that, you obviously gotta mention that you don't like seeing then kill themselves taking all these drugs and you giving them money so they spend it on drugs is doing the same damage if not worse because you are supporting their habits, thing is if they get mad at it then don't give them the money, or instead of money just but them a gift that you'll know that they will use, if they sell it for drugs, it's no longer in your conscience

[TheMajesticKing777]

There's so much things you can buy someone for 10k, including a car

[zeitgeist057]

yeah but I thought of that. I could spend 10K on a car, then they are just going to get desperate and sell it for 7K and buy meth or gamble it off, so that's just more waste. Even something as simple and cheap as a phone or new kicks, if it can be sold for enough to get a fix, it's likely.

[TheMajesticKing777]

Yea but it's not your problem anymore, you bought them something useful, at the end of the day, God gave us choice and if you chose to do a nice gesture with your money and they chose to sell it for drugs, that is no longer holded against you because you are being a nice friend, they are being junkies, let's not mention you are doing the gesture hoping they don't buy drugs

[midnightmoon05]

Great advice 777.

[SaoirseS]

He may have given you information, but it was your money and you assumed all the risk. The way I look at it, you don’t owe him anything and you recognize giving him the money would be unwise. Ez-Bri-Z’s idea is good. There are also places you can find near you that exist to help drug users get clean. You can donate to one of those places in his name so the money can be used to help those who want to be free from addiction and rejoin society as productive members. A little ironic maybe, but there are those who want the help.

[lrina]

the money isn't going to help him. he'll probably just spend it buying more meth or something, which would make his life even worse. it might be better to just try and look for more of a support group for him or something like that.

[SmokyOne]

Funny thing with addiction is that you only really act crazy when you don't know when or where more is going to come from.

When I barely had enough to get me through the night I'd act like a maniac trying to find or borrow money.

When I got older, had been selling for awhile and it was in abundance I realized just how little I valued it compared to things that were actually important. That's something that's always stuck with me. Not sure I could've gotten to that point without that experience.

Also I would make an effort not to contact my friends who were sober. I didn't want to drag them into my mess, some may see that as flaky but it was my effort to be respectful. Those friends are still my friends today and are thankful that I didn't turn their lives upside down because of my choices.

I don't know you or your friend, just go with your heart man. Can't go wrong with that.

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Help someone else who can actually use it for something good, but do so under your friends name, like a charity. The information was nice and did help you profit, but if you knowingly give cash to a drug user and he ruins his life further, is that really going to make you feel better about paying him back for his info?

[Heiniken]

Let it go. he's made his choices.

10k is a lot of money for someone who hasn't reached out to you in three years.

[sensible27]

You could consider spending it on him though maybe, maybe things that wouldn't be so easy to sell but can be used in a good way. Pay for the food or addiction treatment centres.

[007kingifrit]

money doesn't "help" people like that. you would only be hurting him

[robocop666]

never read the post but i read the title. You are making a terrible decision

[TallAnon]

If you want him to buy 10.000 worth of meth, sure!

[Dinosaursandanime65]

This sounds like a lost cause