Do you think this year it be nice if I give again a Christmas gift to these people?

[kitty71]

or this year is not necessary? Last year I gave a madam and his husband a Christmas gift (sugar free cookies and some house small ornament) IT was my first gift to these people for this reason. Last year their son died at 47 years old during a bike routine Sunday. He died of a heart attack, he was a sports guy and the coroner found fat in his arteries but he was not obese at all in fact he exercise often with his bike. He followed the Keto diet. Anyway since this mother her son death was very devastated. I sent her and her husband a flower sympathy arrangement which they both thanked me a lot. The reason I sent these people something was because I met his son for 5 years and we kinda "liked each other" we even had sex twice (the mother never knew about it obviously) bvut we never were a couple or in a relationship, something casual. For me it was also devastated his death I could not believe it. I was hoping to hang out with him for more time but well that could not happen. The mother never knew who I am or even knew I existed and I never met her personally, she found out I existed when she received my sympathy arrangement. Ever since taht 1st contact last year in July I had happen to from time to time get in touch with the guy smother and see how she had been. So in person I had seen her 2 times since last year. SO last year I sent her a Christmas gift for her and the hubby.

After her son death for the way she sent me audio messages it looks like she always is down and depressed (it is understandable of course), it seems for her it has been hard to overcome his last year death in July. SHe is not going to therapy to deal with that pain. One month ago her mom died too, she had a seizure. So next week I be seeing this lady again to grab coffee and chit chat but Im going to meet her along side another lady friend who this
guy knew for years, so it be 3 of us. I also met this lady friend for the first time last year after

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the guy died. We already had met like 4 months ago for coffee time so this time one more time the 3 of us.

My question is do you think this year it be necessary to give this mom and her hubby a Christmas gift again or not necessasry this year. Last year was important beause I was gettng to know her for the first time and her son death was recent. I mean I dotn want the lady to expect me to give her a gift each year like it is an obligation just beause she was the mother of a guy I was

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attracted to, we were not even a couple. Also will it be necessary to give also the other lady friend a gift too? We had beacme good friends after the guy death but last year I did nto give her a gift (to the lady friend) beause we did not meet near Christmas, we met like 3 weeks before Christmas and had lunch together as our first ever person to person meeting.

[lilyanony1]

If you want to give a gift you can, Christmas is about giving. Nothing too big just something to say you're thinking of someone. I personally can't really understand why you gave so much background information.
When what you are doing is just a kind gesture.
Don't think too much into it. Even if it's just because their son died you feel to make the effort, it's still a nice gesture regardless.

[ZackBan]

I think you could tone it down.
Maybe just some cookies and a merry Christmas card. That way it doesn't feel like your gift is meant as a consolation which would remind them of the tragedy but at the same time it would be a nice holiday gesture from that nice lady, a reminder that their son attracted nice people during his life which should be a fond memory.

[jimmy2]

Well honey understand that death is part of life i lost my twin brother and 3 ohers brothers, mom and dad and my wife of 36 years

[kitty71]

I know it is part of life but I meant the gesture of giving one more time to this lady a Christmas gift or not. I did it last year cause everything was recent and I met the mother for the first time, but as theh years pass by I dont know if I be keeping in touch often with this lady in order for me to feel obligated to give a Christmas present. ALso I jsut head this mother birhday is in December too, one week before Christmas so I have to choose a Christmas gift or a Happy Birthday gift but not both. What do you think? The thing is next week Im going to see this mother again to coffee time and If I have to give her a gift it has to be a BDay gift or Christmas gift what is the best choice in this case? And also what to give her I dont have an idea, m I dont know her likes. I guess maybe a body cream could be nice or some food like cookies, but I dont know if she could be diabetic or not who knows.

[Jerre]

Yes, I would still give them a gift. Doesn’t have to be expensive, just enough to show them you are still thinking of them.

[msc545]

If you want to. They may not want to be reminded of things actually.

[kitty71]

Reminded of the guy death? I mean last year was ok because everything was recent I just met the mom for the first time, she thought of me as a nice lady and she told me she wanted to contineu to keep in touch with me. But each year giving her gifts I mean I dont think it is appropriate. She may be used to me giving her each year one because I knew her son I was attracted to him and she found me as a nice lady

[msc545]

ask them

[kitty71]

Ask them if they want a gift this year? You dont ask that

[msc545]

ask them if your contacting them bothers them

[hirosheee]

you should definitely give them a gift and it won't cost you something but they will get immense pleasure and joy.

this might be a sourceof hapiness in there life.

[Anonymous]

That is up to you.