My friend tells me every guy who likes me "just wants sex". Is she telling the truth or is she a hater?

Every time I talk to a guy or he asks me out, if he's good looking my friend tells me "he probably only wants to sleep with you." And then she goes after him herself. This happens every time lol. Could she be being a good friend and telling the truth or is she just being a hater and trying to drag me down?

Anonymous

(30-35)

I don’t think you need us to tell you what her actions are looking like, not saying this in a rude way at all but it would be oblivious for you to say otherwise. The better question here is why do you keep someone as a friend who feels the need to tear you down to try and build themselves up? It’s a draining dynamic, like constantly feeling the need to lessen yourself to accommodate her insecurities. You’d be so much better off without that negativity in your life, even if it means not having someone to hang out with, peace of mind is so much more rewarding.

Asker

1 y
I just feel this building resentment towards her as she keeps doing this, she even "took my man" before and then rubbed it in my face saying "see? He only wanted to sleep with you but wants to commit to me, he chose me over you." Then I moved onto someone else and she goes "he probably only wants to sleep with you" and flirts with him. Like whyyyy. She frames it as "just being honest and a good friend" and constantly says she appreciates our friendship, that's why I asked the question. I am confused. And yeah, I do feel like I need to hold back myself to make her feel better. Thank you sm girl

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Opinion Owner

1 y
I get where you’re coming from, I had a friend just like that for several years and the best thing I could’ve done was end it. If there was any push you needed, it should’ve been her saying that guy only wanted to sleep with you but commit to her... like huh? That’s the biggest slap in the face, hurtful, hateful thing to say about a friend, and no way on earth she could call it “looking out for you”. I know ending friendship is rough, like with my friend whenever she felt me pulling away she’d dig in harder, buy me “just because” gifts and be on her best behavior. But that negativity and spite is deep rooted, and even if your friend has redeeming qualities, they mean absolutely nothing when you know she has it in her to tear you down and go after your man. That even goes against girl code! You’re so much better off cutting her out of your life.

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Asker

1 y
Thank you again girl. How did you cut off your toxic friend if you don’t mind me asking? I wanna cut off my friend but as you said it’s hard, and I don’t know how to do it. If I should just fade out and then block her with no explanation, or not block? Or tell her why I want to end the friendship etc.

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Opinion Owner

1 y
Of course I don’t mind, whatever’s helpful☺️ with my friend I tried once to have a talk, and it blew up into an argument because she took no accountability and acted like I was wrong because in her weird ass mind she felt like she was being a good friend. We ended on bad terms that time but came back together like 3 months later. The last time I just sort of faded back. Like when she’s ask to hang I’d say I’m busy and stopped explaining myself when she asked what I was doing, which really pissed her off but I mean if I said yes would she ask why I said yes? Heck no lol so my no deserves the same energy. When she’d text I’d take very long to reply or act like I didn’t see it. Just basically making my friendship unappealing. I felt bad doing that because I’m an empathetic person and don’t wanna be mean, I wanted us to be on good terms. But I realized being on good terms meant still entertaining that friendship and that just wasn’t healthy for me anymore. As of now we haven’t really spoken and haven’t seen each other in about 7 months, when before we hung out several times a week. She still views my stories and doesn’t seem mad or anything, she also hasn’t tried anything with me.

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Asker

1 y
I can't believe friends like these have the audacity to not take responsibility for their actions!! Like they're going to betray you TWICE. Also, I applaud you for feeling bad even though she wasn't a good friend, never feel bad for being good to the wrong people! And fair enough, I'm glad you just managed to get out of the friendship! I would do that with my friend but I'm just worried that if I start dating after the friendship is over, she might come onto my future man as well. So maybe block her? I don't know if she would do that, though. But she has it in her.

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Opinion Owner

1 y
Thank you! It was hardest the first time, mostly because of her refusing to take accountability and being fine with ending our 10+ year friendship on such a bad note. The second time was much easier, since it was gradual, there was no point wasting time vocally trying to cut ties lol. Also with your friend, since she’s already gone after men you liked and you were still friends, I’m sure she would try again and have more passion about it since you two cut ties. So if you want to block her, you can absolutely do that. You don’t owe her any explanations and don’t have to feel any sort of way about it.

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