What should I do (I'm guilty too)?

[Anonymous]

I'll keep it short:

- My brother dated his his girlfriend for 4 years

- I found out she's cheating on him with 2 guys

- She said if I tell him, she'll tell (she has evidence of it) what happened 2 years ago

- 2 years ago, we had a ONS and promised to never speak of it, never did it again

I really want to get it over with. She's a cheating skank and now I hate her. Yet, I did him wrong too. He's going to break up with her for sure but then our relationship will suffer too. So what should I do?

Updates

+1 y

I'm screwed. If I tell on her, she's going to tell on me too and show the evidence.

[AmandaYVR]

Wow that is really an awful situation.

Maybe she's bluffing? It's a threat to get you to keep your mouth shut?

No man wants to know his brother betrayed him. This could even end your relationship.

There's evidence? That's not good. Pictures? That is not something he should see. It will burn into his brain. Is she vindictive? Her doing that would only be to hurt him.

It will be awful, really awful, but you'd better tell him. Choose the time very, very, carefully. It cannot come out in anger, frustration, or without your words being chosen very carefully. You might even want to write it down first, to work out what you will say (even if you don't give it to him that way.) Did she coerce you into it, or were you willing, or did you initiate? The details will matter to your brother.

But she cannot control this situation. She must be out of his life. Hopefully you aren't as well.

[Asker]

It was at a social gathering (party too), where we both got both tipsy that night, sat together, got into a conversation, said a bunch of nonsense and then we went into a private room and locked it. Then it happened. We were both willing. I'm a trashy brother.
I want to get this off my chest already. It's killing me.

[Asker]

She had saved a couple messages from the following day where we promised to never mentioned a word about it. In those messages, I told her it was my biggest mistake ever and how I felt terrible betraying him.

[AmandaYVR]

Oh good, glad it's not photo evidence. That must not be shown.

You need to think carefully about the words you choose, but you should come clean.
Make sure to stress/emphasize the fact that you don't want to hurt him, it's been eating you up inside, but you thought it was better for him to not be hurt by both of you. But now you really know her true character, that that situation was not just a one-off, and that now you know you need to protect him from wasting anymore time on her. Her lack of remorse is very, very, telling. He needs to know that.

[EarthRealm]

Tell him but explain it in a way that makes you sound like the good guy
That way he’s not mad at you and is only mad at her.
Give him some sob story about how you were Down and depressed and she Manipulated that you were in pain as a way to Gratify Herself and make her feel powerful and how she held that power she took from you for Years and how you’ve been in pain for Years being guilty and crying 😭 yourself to sleep sometimes and Get yourself a therapist and tell your therapist the sob story and about a month in tell your brother the story about what had happened and maybe ask the therapist how you should Do it maybe have him come to the therapy session with you
That would make you the Good guy it would make you the victim and your brother would have to believe you and would have to believe you suffered for years in torment over a girl that held power over you

[EarthRealm]

Which would make him feel bad for you and would make him super angry 😡 at the girl for Abusing you and putting you through all that.
That’s just my recommendation
That’s if you don’t want your brother to be mad at you or stop talking to you

[EarthRealm]

That’s the only way the manipulation would work is if you got yourself a Therapist and maybe even get a diary and take down notes as a way to have more proof and have your brother read your painful 😭 diary entires on how you cried yourself to sleep all the time and was struggling
With It and decided to get a therapist as a way to help you heal and Tell your brother you’ll have to continue doing therapy for another 6 months to a Year talking about the trauma you were put through
That will make it believable and at the end of the 6 months to a year you can say that you did self healing and that therapy helped you you Can even tell people that you recommend therapy and how it helped you when you were in a dark time of your life even telling your brother that you thought about suicide a great many times and because you felt suicidal all the time that’s 1 of the reasons you seeked out therapy so you didn’t kill yourself over the pain of feeling trapped and feeling like you couldn’t tell your brother
Your brother will think deeply about maybe he wasn’t a very good brother to you and will want to do better he will have self doubts about his own self and how he Treated you he will have those doubts even if he was nice to you All the time
It’s just part of the huge plan to be the good guy the victim the guy that cried himself to sleep
So think about it and consider my plan as something you’d be willing to do

[EarthRealm]

And even getting on medication or sending yourself to the mental hospital 🏥 and saying your suicidal and stuff over what had happened and getting your brother to be on your side

[EarthRealm]

Then after the hospital 🏥 You could go to therapy or you could make it super dramatic and cry 😭 a lot and Threaten to kill yourself smashing your head On the wall repeatedly that would really freak your brother out and telling him that you can’t tell him what’s wrong that you Did something and can’t explain it that would cause him emotional pain and he would wanna know what had happened then getting yourself sent to the mental hospital 🏥 and then furthering your plan
Hopefully I’m not seeming like a psychopath or anything 😂 I’m just super good at lying if I wanna be
Anyways good luck

[EarthRealm]

Even if She has proof that that’s what you wanted to do
Doing the plan I explained will make you sound like you truly believe and think that You were Abused by that girl and your brother will end up on your side because you in his mind he will see that you really believe the things your saying and your brother would believe that you wouldn’t go to such great lengths to cover your ass
So best of luck to you

[Anonymous]

Your brother will forgive you if you tell him, but won't if he finds out you knew about her and said nothing. He deserves to know what kind of cheating slut she is. You made a mistake, hers is intentional.

[Asker]

Thanks. I want to get this off my chest already.

[Imsmurter1]

LOL my own brother has his girlfriend problems right now but yours sounds way worse. I think you should employ your creativity here to lead your brother the truth about his girlfriend without exposing yourself in the process.

[Guy13]

oh well…he will find out eventually during divorce 🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️

[jamesgoldman]

Tell him but reveal your own incident and if he hits you then it was justified

[Anonymous]

What if he found out and it couldn't be traced back to you?