Would you take this opportunity if presented or you pass?

[kitty71]

Im in a bit of a dilemma about a a possible incoming trip to the Caribbean this end of the year.

I have a married sister who always always spend the holidays overseas, she never spends it with me, mom, brother or other relatives always outside the country with her hubbie and they had been doing that for more than 10 years even when my dad was alive and now that my dad is no longer with us, she still spend it in another country with her hubbie. This year is no exception. This year they are planning to go to Dominican Rep. My sister has no kids with her hubbie so they practically dont have children committments when they both travel. My sister never takes me or mom into account to join her in her trips, maybe caue mom is elder but still she had never taken us into account to join them to go as a family trip.

My brother in law earlier today was talking to a male cousin (who also enjoys traveling and who also spends each New years Eve in other countries with his grown up kids, never spend it in the country, he is separated so is why he spends it with male friends or his kids) and told him about this trip to the Caribbean and my cousin said something like "Hey so neat I wish I can go to and my brother in law said to him: "Why dont you join us, the tickets are cheap! My cousin said "sure,, I would love to", then my cousin ask his sister if she can also tag along with them. My female sister said I will love too of course, but I have to check how my end of the year job schedule will be cause my boss assigned me work days at the end of the year I can't choose dates, I have to work the days Im assigned. My female cousin works at the hospital so she for holdiays she always work as she is assigned on-call duties. SO she told his brother I have to check first if my shifts can be moved or someone can take the on call guards for me a few days. My female cousin could also travel as she is divorced and lives on her own. no kids to assist.

Updates

1 y

My male cousin, also do not have small kids to attend only a grown up kid that asily can babysit the house while his dad is away, and his work schedule is flexible and he can take time off easily.

My male cousin then ask me "Hey cousin , Would you sign up for the trip? I did not reply to him beause even though I could travel and I can afford to go and travel with all of them, my case at the house is different than all of them. I live with my elder mom and my brother. At this moment im

Updates

1 y

unemployed so I have time to go, but who is going to take care of my mom while Im away just for a few days? I mean my brother is male so males are not lets say that thoughtful when it comes taking care of my mom, and for his job he is more away from the house than in, you know there are things that a mother only needs a woman by her side, not a man. My mom is sane and independent , but still she always need a bit of assistance in certain things. Where she will spend the holidays anyway?

[Anonymous]

How many days are you going to be away from the home. Fix a few pre-made meals up for your mother. Or she can either put it in the microwave or in the oven for a period of time. If your mom's capable of taking care of herself let her do so unless you're afraid that she's going to fall in hurt herself? My wife and I at times make prepared meals and place them in the refrigerator or freezer and then we put them in the crock pot during the weekday. Your mom would probably love to be by herself or have some one else in the family that lives close by check in on her. Even a teenager you know from church.

Enjoy your trip.

[kitty71]

My mom does not attend church. My mom lives with my brotehr too but as a male tehre are things you can't discuss with men and my broter due to his job he has to go out several times a day then return home while mom stays home alone. The thing is that it be Christmas and new Years eve those days is not fair if mom spends it alone cause even though she has sisters, her sisters has their own families too.

[OlderAndWiser]

I would stay home and spend Christmas with my mom.

[kitty71]

I mean my cousin ask me if i sign up due to the fact that my cousins and I are very close and we had shared a overseas trip together 5 years ago to Europe. My mom has sisters sure. But my cousins parennts they dont have an issue to check who stays with their elder mom, cause my cousin still have a father who takes care of the mother. I live with mom and my brother since our dad died 8 years ago. My sister is married no kids so she does nto have any committment in her own house. My male cousin lives with his grown up son who can stay home and babysit the hosue with no problem. I live with mom and brother but my brother also was not asked to join for the trip cause my brotehr had never travel oversweas before due to lack of money and he can afford trips, he is does not ahve spare money the reason he is never taken into accoun to join in any overseas trips by anyone inthe family.
I mean my sister or my sister husband, my cousins are not thinking that even if they ask me to go with them, my case is different than theirs in case of who takes care of mom while Im away. For them is easy as they live by themselves and they dont have to take care anyone elder, they dotn ahve that responsability. My cousin lives on his own with his grown up son, my cousin sister lives by herself and it is separated. Both of my cousins parents have their father who takes care of the mother at their parents house. My sister no kids with the husband and they manage their own time. neitehr one lives with an elder relative they need to watch out.

[Guy13]

I think so but I got lost in it...

[kitty71]

Sorry but I had to explain the whole scenario otehrwise noone can understand the root of the problem

[pizzalovershouse]

Guess you do what's right for you

[EaterPeter]

Take it

[kitty71]

And my mom where to leave it then?

[EaterPeter]

Have a back up. You need some time away from mom. If you don't go you will never know if someone can step up to plate or not.

[EaterPeter]

They may not take exactl same care as you do but every now and then you can step away which is what you need

[EaterPeter]

Are you in US?

[EaterPeter]

How old is mom?

[kitty71]

No im not in the US and dont think im going to put her in a nursing home while im away cause that i won't do. He is 84

[kitty71]

I feel bad if i leave her alone even with my brother but a man is different than a woman. Mom most of the time need a female not amale next to her, i mean for confidence reasons. There is no relative who she can join for holidays. But I will pass then I dont want her to leave her alone. I may travel next year with my cousins to Europe but when I travel to Europe my married sister she will be in the country so it is easier forme to travel if at least my married sister is here and can visit mom once in a while is different. I pass this opportunity this year.

[EaterPeter]

All the best!