I was extremely moody this morning, my coworkers noticed and now I feel embarrassed?

[Anonymous]

I'm diagnosed with manic depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

Sometimes I randomly get moody and don't want to talk to anyone because I hate everyone and I don't have a good support system. I use to not be like this but when my dad died last year... it changed me. I opened up to my family about how I was feeling at the time but it went south and now I've been dealing with my feelings on my own and have no one to vent to.

Anyways, out of no where I became sad because the 1 year anniversary for the passing of my dad is next Tuesday and all the flashbacks of what was happening before then and leading to that moment filled my head. I got angry because I feel like everyone has left me. Im there for them but they haven't been there for me. My dad was my best friend and all that i had.

So with all of that going through my mind, I was a little rude to my coworker. I felt embarrassed and bad afterwards... but he showed me where he and my other coworker were talking about how I wasn't in the mood for anything...

Is it normal to be embarrassed about this?

[Smoke-n-Growls]

It's normal. It's worth confiding in your coworkers you're going through a rough time.

I did when I had a sudden break up with my ex-fiancé five months ago. Told my (small) team I might be a bit off because I had personal things going on, and since I trust them I told them I'd broken up with my ex. They knew of him before since I had taken time to try to move him up into Canada, so they were expecting to hear about him, anyways.

I find confiding in coworkers - even if it's just "hey, I'm going through some rough times right now, so I apologise if I seem short. It's not my intent." helps them to understand where you're coming from.

And it gives them the heads up you might be a bit prickly, which helps them plan appropriately.

[Anonymous]

If you were diagnosed with all that then maybe your moodiness was more than just a little (not saying it was a whole bunch or anything) and that’s why you feel embarrassed, because there was a clear distinction in your behavior. Regardless it’s fine to feel bad, but if you want then be transparent with your coworkers about what you’re going through. Like you don’t have to deep dive into detail and vent or anything but tell them what’s up. I’m not sure if you do therapy but that’s a good outlet too. Even if you don’t have friends or family to talk to, at least you’ll have someone and they can actually, professionally help.

[Mynameisbobby]

Sorry the loss of your dad. Embarrassed for being human? I can understand why you were being rude on the anniversary of your dad's death. Maybe you could have apologized to them and just said you weren't feeling well. You had a very good reason for acting the way you did. It doesn't help that you have no support system that you can talk with about how you feel. I know what it's like to have your dad die and not having anyone to talk with about it. Maybe talk with a counselor about it? I really don't think you have anything to be embarrassed about, I mean it's just how you were feeling.

[Anonymous]

Stop being so self conscious.