Can I ever be a better person again after framing someone?

[Anonymous]

I came cleaned 5 years later, on my last year of HS. Some people at my school don't like me anymore and have called me Amber. I know who she is and that's not my name. I have fewer friends now.

The kid I framed at the time, getting wrongly suspended obviously wasn't forgiving. I don't want to be remembered forever as a horrible example for other girls.

The thing is I'm trying to amend the wrong. I already outed myself publically in FB, admitting what I did, risking getting hated, humiliated, risked it all. As of now my reputation is bad. The question can I ever be a better person afterwards? Or am I forever unredeemable?

Updates

+1 y

A couple of the nasty repliers actually thinks the punishment for me would be to carry my reputation for 5 years, for the exact time the kid had to.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Yeah, you need to just live with the consequences.

You're doing all these things not to actually BE a better person, but you're performing so you SEEM like a better person. Not for everyone else's sake, but for your own.

Your reputation is forever going to be tarnished, and you'll have to live with and accept that with grace. You're always going to have this mistake in your past and you'll never erase it.

But you can move forward from it. Just not quickly and not necessarily at your own pace.

You're still young. You have time to work on yourself and your values.

Go to therapy. Explore with an expert why you did what you did, how it harms others, and why you felt the need to do it.

Keep going to therapy throughout your life. It's always gonna be necessary and you're going to need someone to teach you morality and respect. Obviously you failed your parents in this regard, so an outside expert is needed.

Stop trying to run or hide from your mistakes. It's scary, but owning up to them and working through them - as hard and as lonely as it is - is the only way forward.

[Asker]

I know why I did that. I was nearly caught making-out at a school dance/feast event. Both the kid and I were already having a hard time with classmates and getting verbally bullied and humilated at school too much. So since I didn't want to be bullied once again for making out with the nerdy kid with braces no one likes, I framed him and made it look like it I was getting a kiss against my will.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

So you falsely accused a young boy of sexual assault because you were embarrassed that you liked him enough to kiss him.

Yeah, you need therapy BAD.

That is a shit thing to do, you deserve what's happening to you, and you need to be in therapy before you get an innocent person arrested.

You're a danger to society. Thank god you were found out.

[Asker]

I wasn't going to be found out if I had continued stayed silent about it. I confessed it all (outed myself) because the guilt was killing me. I wanted to get over done and deal with whatever the consequences were. As a result, yes I'm getting all the hatred and bullied at school again.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Lmao, so you don't even regret what you did. You just regret that you couldn't keep your mouth shut.

Again. You deserve this. You falsely accused someone YOU LIKED ENOUGH TO KISS of sexual assault because you were embarrassed by your own attractions.

Seek therapy. Otherwise you're just going to do this again.

[Stevefiveo]

I think you did all you can do at this point. Your real friends will be there for you and the fake ones won't.

[Asker]

Yes I can't do anything more. I've lost track of how many times I've sincerely apologized. I don't think I can't do anything else at this point.

[Stevefiveo]

Did the one you hurt forgive you?

[Asker]

Nope he didn't.

[Stevefiveo]

Hmm, that is probably what is holding them back. They probably want to show support for that person and pick their side.

[Guy13]

You are redeemable through the eyes of Jesus the Christ. Are you Christian?

[Asker]

Catholic

[Guy13]

Do you believe that Jesus bore the wrath for our Sins at the Cross. If so, pray in his name and leave those sins there. You have repented so forgive yourself for your sin has already been atoned for. Talk to God.

[Mynameisbobby]

Didn't you already ask this question before?

[Asker]

I did? Too much going in my mind that I don't remember.

[msc545]

What did you frame him for - something sexual? If so - NO- you cannot be forgiven ever.

[Asker]

Is just kissing consider sexual?

[msc545]

not really. Did you lie about that?

[Asker]

Kind of. I was getting bullied terribly at school every single day (called names, humiliated in classes, isolated, etc) and he was too. We were both outcasts, unwanted by others. Me for being overweight, having acne and being somewhat awkward. I didn't get good grades either and him for being shy, nerdy and awkward too.

I was going to be caught making out with him and get bullied more. So I decided to push him away from me and made it looked like it was a forced kiss, say that he tried kissing me. I stopped getting bullied since but didn't think classmates would continue talking about the incident for too long (not as often as in the beginning but still once in a while). I got tired of the overwhelming guilt so outed myself and told the truth. Now they hate me and I'm getting bullied all over again.

[msc545]

You should not have lied about what you were doing. If you can, you probably should change schools if your present school is where you are being bullied. In the future do not lie about anything, but especially do not lie about things involving sex as you can ruin someone's life by doing that. There are innocent men in prison now because women lied about what they supposedly did.

[panamared1]

Yes you can change yourself

[Asker]

Thank you. I'm trying. They hate me.

[panamared1]

be patient, give them time, they may always see the old you, but you will know you have changed, and the people you meet in the future will have a clean slate