My mom just kicked my brother out, what do I do?

[Anonymous]

so for some months now he has been extremely disrespectful, got a girlfriend and started sleeping out every single night without notice only coming home to shower and change his clothes, he got a job that he ended up quiting so he could go party. my mom did warn him that she was going to kick him out because one time he said it was his life and he knew what he was doing.

tonight he was begging for her pardon saying he has nowhere to live and even started crying, only came home because she said that she was done with him disrespecting her and her rules while living under his roof. it broke my heart to see him crying although i do understand my mother reaching her breaking point im scared for my brother. he is 19 all his life he had us 3 sisters and our mother there and maybe we did make him this way: irresponsible and immature but man he has no preparation to be out there by himself although he has been living like a true adult.

my heart aches with the thought of him out all alone lost with nowhere to go. and my mom is still pretty mad so what do I do? I believe he's sleeping at his girlfriends tonight but what about tomorrow? I don't even know if he has money to hang up until the end of the month, most likely he doesn't. what do I do please?

[Sandeeppingping]

Same thing happened to me, without me coming back and crying and whatever, I left the house when I was 17, I've spoken about this on here before, my mother thought I was useless and a loser, I was done with it, 3 years later this is one of the best decisions in my life, and I have an amazing relationship with my mother becsuse when I got honest with myself I realized that if I stayed that spoiled narcissistic sensitive kid I'd definitely have ended up or remained useless, so I thank her for that, so from personal experience I believe this is going to be the best thing that happens to him, not saying it's gonna be all rainbows and whatever, it's gonna be brutal especially at first, but that's the beauty of it, the initial frustration that turns into anger, realizing he has to prove her wrong, and anger turns into happiness once he realizes if his mother didn't care she wouldn't have told him that and that's why he's happy with his effort now, if that doesn't make him take responsibility for his own life I don't know what will

[Sandeeppingping]

What you should do at most is reach out advise him and tell him you love him, tell him to get a job asap I don't care if it's in a factory if he has no skills whatsoever, minimize his food rent the cheapest possible place he could find, then month 2 post rent+job tell him to start mma and go to the gym, and from there he'll get better (Little things such as doing the laundry and the dishes are things he'll have to get used to allocating a few minutes to them daily, he's not gonna eat a lot anyway I used to eat 1 meal daily that's 1 plastic plate)

[Sandeeppingping]

But don't tell him he's right or anything I don't speak with my sister because she disrespected my mother, so he should feel lucky you still care about him as much as you do

[OlderThanILook]

I kinda feel for him. When I was 18 I had enough of my parents trying to constantly monitor me, but I was smart enough to grt a job and put up my part of the rent. If I were in his position I'd literally never go home again and just struggle on my own. I have too much pride to cry and beg, but then again I would prioritize having my needs met over visiting a girlfriend or partying so I don't know. I would explain to your mom that he isn't matured yet and needs help getting his shit together because he definitely feels like he's the one being wronged here even tho to the rest of us he's just being an idiot.

[Anonymous]

It’s called tough love and a reality check. I’m sure it hurt just as much if not more for your mom to kick him out, but she’s a woman setting an example for a man who needs to learn the world is not going to be easy on him. I am sure he’s had countless warnings, and repeatedly chooses to disrespect your mom. So while this situation is heartbreaking, maybe he will learn to either respect her home, her rules and just her as his mother, or make it out there on his own. Even though you feel bad, remember he had a choice and made the wrong one over and over.

[Opinion Owner]

I’m sure your mom will let him back at some point but not right now because he needs to learn. Some people are forced to grow up for reasons with much more finality like a parent dying and really having no one. Your bro took his life for granted, now he has to grow up.

[bubblegunnn]

Omg i feel bad to ur bro also its ur bro's fault tho! He shouldve learn.. and ur mom was right but went too far.. or maybe ur mom just want to give him a lesson? Then maybe she will call him to go home anymore?
How bout asked ur bro to fix his behavior and say to him mom is not fooling around.. she's serious.. and then convince ur mom that he will change

[Mynameisbobby]

Why do you care? You're brother should have shown your mother respect and appreciated the fact that she allowed him to live there. I lived with my uncle who adopted me at 13 I just moved out a few weeks ago and am at college. My uncle basically saved my life by adopting me rescuing me from my mother and sister they were abusive towards me. I appreciated everything my uncle has done for me since he adopted me until I moved out. Honestly I don't know how you can feel sorry for him? You're mom did the right thing by throwing him out he's an adult he should have respected your mother. Even if she was abusive towards him as an adult he could have moved out. I see things differently from being abused as a child that didn't have the choice of moving out, but I did have the choice of telling my uncle who as I said before saved my life. Sorry I don't feel sympathy for your brother at all and don't know why you do?

[Asker]

i care because it's my brother? i don't agree with his actions and i do believe he has to learn on so many levels but he is still my brother so naturally I'm going to be concerned for his well-being regardless. you just don't switch emotions on and off like that

[NotTacocaT6969]

My boyfriend was kicked out at the age of 16 and was homeless for 3 years as a result.


During those 3 years, he got his shit together and learner how to be responsible for himself.


Your brother has been sent on that same journey now.


All you can do is is hope that he chooses responsibility over partying now.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

See the way i look at it from family perspective.

What ever has happend as of now is good be silent for some days then try to calm both of them down be the bridge between your mom and him.

I am not sure if you three sisters are elder or younger i assume by your statements that his the younger one.

Keep an eye on him , give him some money if he is not going to use it for drugs and other shit.

Or better give him some food keep meeting him he might need your support.

[Jamie05rhs]

"although he has been living like a true adult.". No, he hasn't. He's been acting very irresponsibly.


I don't know what to tell you, girl. It's very sweet that you care about your brother. But he needs to be held accountable for his actions. Maybe this will cause him to finally get his act together.

[LazerBean]

Your brother has to learn that crying isn't going to get rid of the consequences of his mistakes. To bad for him, hopefully he will learn no to be an idiot from it.

[TheSpaceGnome]

You have a good sense of morality, never lose that.

Unfortunately you can't do much aside from checking on him to make sure he is ok.

Parents can't expect their kids to afford living on their own at 19.

[Anonymous]

Tell him to make a promise to himself to turn in a new leaf to be better person and make that promise to your mom as well that he'll try to be better son.

[MikeInHawaii]

Don’t do anything. He’s getting the tough love he needs.

[UnknownGagsUser]

It's heart breaking but someone need to teach that dude a lesson and how to respect his mother.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Let him go find his own way as a man. Your brother is seriously out of line disrespecting your mom anyways.

[Luckycharms12]

It will be the lesson he needs he will be back soon enough when he shows your mom he will change and do what he is told

[BigOleMatt]

My thoughts too... it may suck but he needs this.

[MiseriaCantareAFI]

Never blame yourself, for HIS actions, NEVER

[Anonymous]

It's all his fault. Let it go.