Is it weird that I feel guilty because my life is just a little too easy?

[Anonymous]

For real i have never faced on your real hardships before. A group with a nice and supportive family and so far i'm doing ok. Hearing different people's sad life stories just makes me feel sympathetic and i feel something's off and it makes me feel small.

Updates

1 y

Everyone, I do help with the donation and listen to anyone's problem but that doesn't mean I burden myself. It's just that guilty feeling that's all. It may have something to do with what I had been taught growing up that it found itself into my subconscious mind.

[TroyDT2]

Same here. I try to donate time and resources to help others. I think that is my duty.

[KrakenAttackin]

No, just enjoy your life and try to give back to others.

[sunflower00]

I feel quite bad for you as people are attacking you in the comments. We have very opposite lives, as I’m sure is the same for most people in the comments, and it can be quite easy for others to be jealous and in turn try to make you feel bad. I don’t think you should feel guilty. It’s good to recognise that you have an easier life than many, and understand the struggles of others, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to enjoy your life.


Don’t we want this kind of life for everyone? It doesn’t make sense to me why people are dragging you down for not experiencing trauma lol. You’re lucky, I’m glad you’re doing well, please don’t feel bad, and you can always try to help others if that is an option for you!

[Asker]

Thanks! 🤗🤗 And yeah i'm not really surprised about those kind of people. They think their problems are some sort of a trophy or something. Which is why i don't stereotype people based on their life difficulties. Anyone can be a prick, easy or hard life.

[Bethany22]

What so you have a girlfriend, no one has ever broken up with you before, and you have a good job? If so, don't worry, as the fact that you're only at most 24 means you'll have no shortage of struggles in the future. I hope that your easy life hasn't sheltered you from developing the strength to overcome hardships in the future.

[Asker]

Actually i had some exes but i wouldn't consider that are real struggle. Yes it hurt but it never affected my life. And yes that's what i'm worried about. Hardships aren't only limited to people who are older than i am because i know there are people my age or even younger than me have been facing any sort of abuse and giving them a hard time growing up.

[Haha456]

From my experience, its the people who never really suffered that are the least empathetic. They're also the least willing to hear me out. Its because you are able to sympathize but not empathize. You don't know what it is like which is why you don't care to listen to your friends' sad stories or offer help. Very few people exist to help others.

[Asker]

And how do you exactly know that I don't listen to their stories? You're just making assumptions about me you don't even know me.

[Haha456]

@Asker

I don't know you personally but I am speaking of the general population as a whole. Generally speaking, people are not interested in helping. Its not about donations, its about spending hours out of your weekend to volunteer to help others. It offering support to someone going through a hard time. Its easy to donate 5 dollars, but is not easy to spend a day out of your weekend to visit someone so they can feel less lonely or spend 2 hours listening to someone and offering advice or doing volunteer work.

how many people in our population are willing to volunteer on their days off? Not many
and its quite sad. If I had more people who were willing to hang out with me when I felt lonely, I wouldn't have gotten to the state of where I am right now.

[Haha456]

of course you wouldn't feel like burdening yourself. because you simply can't empathize with those who are suffering. how often do you go out of your way to help those in need?

[Haha456]

Its the people who suffered through very difficult times themselves who sacrifice themselves the most when they see someone suffering. The most aloof ones tend to be the ones who never suffered. Plenty of people will sympathize but very rarely would anyone sacrifice themselves to help. I just want to let you know that there is a big difference between simply "feeling bad" versus "actually helping others". "Feeling bad" won't change anything. Its just the same as doing nothing.

[Asker]

Then why are you talking about me specifically? I do know majority of people who have great life can seem to be less empathetic so it's not necessary to assume I don't listen to my friend's story. And if you ask me how often, as often as a normal person would. Really no normal person don't burden themselves if unnecessary and that doesn't make them any less empathetic.

[Asker]

THen you're not reading the update. " do help with the donation and listen to anyone's problem" You're only seeing the part where I say I don't burden myself. How about you? You're using the internet right now when there are millions of people starving across the worked. Why not sacrifice it tho? You can't? Then you're just a bitch who don't listen to anyone's problems. That's basically your logic

[Haha456]

Part of helping others is sacrificing yourself or aka burdening yourself.

you don't want to sacrifice yourself because you're not empathetic enough to.

sympathy is not the same definition as empathy.

[Haha456]

you cannot help others if you are not willing to sacrifice something out of yourself aka burdening yourself.

[Haha456]

Many people think that "feeling guilty" or "feeling bad" is enough to make them a nice person. It really doesn't. There were many times where I've had so many people sympathize with me but yet nobody ever cared to help.

I think its very offensive when you claim that you're a good person simply because you "feel guilty" or "feel bad". Because reality is, there is not enough good people in this world. There aren't enough people who are willing to sacrifice themselves to help others. It is also an insult to those who actually go out , volunteer and sacrifice themselves to help others.

I'm not criticizing you for not willing to take on the sacrifice to help other people. You don't need to help anyone that you dont want to. I can't force you to help people. Goodness comes from the heart. It can't be forced.

But what I do have a problem with are : people who like to claim they are good people or "feel soooo bad" but YET never try to do anything to help.

[Asker]

Look, it is a sacrifice of money to donate, a sacrifice of time to listen to others and help talk to them and treat them until they're better but that's not necessarily affecting my life status, my income, my time in general and so on which is why I say it's not much of a burden. Seems to me you don''t know what burden truly means and you're using that word wrong.

[Asker]

If you're now using the word "empathetic enough" then you're basically saying I am empathetic except you just think it's not enough. But I see, that's just a mindset of those victim minded people who whines about their privileges a lot.

[Asker]

And when did I say I am a good person? I'm not even surprised anymore if you think what I said is offensive. Again, victim mentality mindset. You're just trying to bring people down who has better life than you. It's not my fault you can't be pleased.

[Haha456]

I knew of a firefighter that recently died saving people in a burning house. He spent his days off, building ramps for disabled kids with wheel chairs. He has done 30 projects over the past 4 years. He sacrifices his leisure and spare time to do this, while he could be going on vacations or hanging out with his friends. This IS A BURDEN to him. But it is a burden that he thinks is worth it.

There is no such thing as helping other without burdening yourself. Giving comes at a sacrifice.

If I have to even explain such a simple concept to you, it means you likely means you do not have enough heart.

I'm not forcing you to help anyone. But you need to be honest with who you are. Don't act like you're the big shot when you're actually not.

[Asker]

Ok so if that's your logic then that means, there isn't a difference if someone would help with the donation or not. So you're saying it's not different if I just don't listen to you and don't give you anything at all because you only count if someone has to be a knight and shining armor to be your "hero" who would die for you. I'm also being honest about you, you just seem to be a spoiled brat who's hard to please. Anyone who I give time and money to start their life regardless if it's enough or not would just appreciate something that they just receive something when no one could just give them that treatment. It's that or nothing. Maybe you just never experienced being in a hardship yourself because you expect anyone to give you the most luxurious rooms when you're in need

[Asker]

Another example, if you ever get homeless starving and someone offers you a $20 to get you something to eat, you're just not gonna be thankful because it has to be a $200 wagyu steak to fill you up. Stop whining you may have a "perfect" life but I'm still thankful I don't have a heart like you do.

[Haha456]

@Asker

you're the one who does not want to burden yourself with helping anyone but YET you like to say that you volunteer, offer to listen to other people's issues. If you didn't want to burden yourself with other people's issues, you wouldn't be doing any of these things.

Its about time you finally admit that you're just a selfish piece of shit who has never volunteered, never checked up on anyone who possibly might have needed help, never cared.

I'm far from a spoiled brat. When I was at the most painful moments of my life, nobody ever helped me. Nobody wanted to even listen to me cuz they'd have more fun with shopping with their friends or playing video games. NOBODY HELPED ME. HOW AM I A SPOILED BRAT?

you're the spoiled brat, never having to suffer in life, getting everything handed to you.

[Haha456]

[Another example, if you ever get homeless starving and someone offers you a $20 to get you something to eat, you're just not gonna be thankful because it has to be a $200 wagyu steak to fill you up. Stop whining you may have a "perfect" life but I'm still thankful I don't have a heart like you do.]

when have I asked you for a 200 dollar wagyu steak?

take a look at what I've written:

[I'm not forcing you to help anyone. But you need to be honest with who you are. Don't act like you're the big shot when you're actually not.]

[I'm not criticizing you for not willing to take on the sacrifice to help other people. You don't need to help anyone that you dont want to. I can't force you to help people. Goodness comes from the heart. It can't be forced]

WHEN HAVE I EXPECTED ANYTHING FROM ANYONE?

WHEN HAVE I EXPECTED YOU TO GIVE ME 1 PENNY?

[Haha456]

do you really think that simply "feeling guilty" makes you a good person?

it doesn't.

you feel bad, but not badly enough to help.

[Haha456]

I take this topic very seriously because I have suffered so much in life without anyone caring. It was extremely long, painful, and without help it only made the situation worse than it should've been. So it is very offensive to me when you like to act like a "superhero" then later on say that you don't like to be burdened with anyone's issues.

Truth is, nobody in society wants to be burdened by other people's issues , and this can be seen in the fact that NOBODY EVER HELPED ME when I needed help the most.
I suffered in complete silence.

[Asker]

Because that is indeed an act of helping others out no matter how you think small it is. The only thing is that you're just someone who is so hard to please and maybe you can just speak for yourself. Again you still don't know what burden really means. If you like to say you're not a spoiled brat then i'd like to say i'm not a selfish prick. After all, i see people's efforts no matter how small it is unlike you. If you ever wonder why nobody has helped you, maybe it's because you don't appreciate the least anyone can give to you and you just say they don't listen like a sociopath you are which makes you someone who is a spoiled brat in the first place which nobody likes to help out. Also didn't you see i am talking about $20 here? But you like to treat it as if i'm giving you a penny. No wonder why nobody likes to help you out. That wagyu steak i am talking about is just simply an analogy of what you are trying to say. You're not forcing anyone but you're still trying to guilt trip anyone for not actually giving up everything in their life for the sake of them.

[Asker]

Also that's a nice way of trying to get offended to justify yourself for not listening to anyone who's actually trying to help you out and insult them. You don't deserve anyone's help if you be little them for not giving you everything they got

[Haha456]

I'd say that it is the people actually put effort into helping others who are the true angels.
Its easy to donate a few dollars. But its a completely another thing to spend a day out of your weekend to visiting the elderly, volunteer at soup kitchens, checking up on not only friends but also former high school classmates to make sure everyone is ok. These are people who are able to empathize rather than to just sympathize.

Trust me, there are plenty of lonely people out there who are in need of a friend. There are a lot of depressed people out there who need someone to just hear them out. Quite often the best way to help someone is not money. It's showing these sad people that someone cares about them in this world. And when you do that, it relieves a lot of stress for them. Sometimes the best feeling ever does not require any money. Doing good for other people makes the world a better place to live in.

I'm not expecting you to be an angel or to be empathetic. I don't give a shit who you are. But its very offensive to me how people who rarely ever do anything to help me , like to claim they care. No you dont you care. You don't care enough. If you cared, they would at least try to do something to help.
Donating a few dollars every 6 months is nothing. I give money to the homeless people on the street every month, I don't come onto GAG to brag how amazing of a person I am.

[Haha456]

Now I'm not saying that donating a few dollars makes you a bad person. It makes you a decent human being. But it really does not make a kind person. I think the people who actually make an impact are those who do a bit more than that. Its the impact that matters. Taking the easiest way out does not mean anything. I give to the homeless, I donate. I don't come on here bragging about how amazing I am.

[Haha456]

I suffered from loneliness for many years then later on trauma, depression, emotional abuse. People knew I was depressed and lonely. Nobody ever cared to hangout with me. Nobody ever cared to hear me out when I was at the lowest moments of my life. Asking people to hangout with me was like me asking to pull out their teeth. When I had depression, I had nobody to talk to about my problems. Because they'd rather have conversations filled with fun jokes with their other friends who aren't depressed. I understand why people would rather joke around than to listen to some depressed person's issues. Its more fun being around joyful people. But people don't understand that even speaking to a depressed person about their issues just 1 time can mean the world to them. It can relieve so much stress. You might even be able to save someone from suicide.

Back in high school, I used to have classmates who would sing songs to me cuz they knew I was lonely and depressed. But nobody would ever hangout with me on their spare time. Now you may say they at least tried to do something to help, but for me, but It didn't help me at all. The torture continued.

[Asker]

And nobody exactly saying that i'm an angel. I'm just a human being just like the rest. People volunteering in soup kitchens, visiting the elderly and those who make sure anyone is ok don't really affect their lives that much. How many people actually got homeless for volunteering in doing those stuff? It's very unlikely. And those who actually got homeless for doing those are those people who burden themselves which isn't what people would normally do. You're describing someone who is emphasizing not burdening themselves and those who are different things. If simply doing those things are already considered a burden to you, then yes it makes you seem like someone who just lack patience which would also prove my point of you being a spoiled brat because i do those things what you just said but i don't consider those things a burden. You do. And again since when did i even said i'm a good person? You just want to put words on people's mouth just to give yourself an excuse to be offended right?

[Haha456]

@Asker

Over my lifetime of 27 years, I have only seen 3 people who actually volunteered to help others without expecting anything in return. One of them was a retired police officer who posted everyone's facebook feed over the pandemic: "hey, just checking if anyone needs help through this rough time. I"m here. Just send a message".

Another one was a college professor who was a very nice lady who was extremely altruistic by nature. In class we were discussing a topic of suicide. Towards the end of class, she announced "if anyone is going through a hard time, please feel free to speak to me after class. I am available to help".

I couldn't afford the ridiculously expensive driving lessons. A former coworker volunteered to teach me how to drive even though gas prices were soaring. I offered to pay him for the gas, he declined. He worked 2 jobs and still sacrificed his spare time to help me. Now I'm not expecting everyone in the world to do what he did. Something as little as spending a day out of your week to hangout with someone who does not have friends, does WONDERS for them. But reality is, this never happens. People like to spend weekends with friends and family they can have fun with.

Another high school friend of mine said the same thing about human beings. She went through a very rough young adulthood being raped, traumatized, mistreated by others. She suffered in silence and said that she didn't even reach out to anyone and suffered in silence because she knew that nobody would care anyways. I honestly agreed with her 100%. 95% of the world does not care. Most people feel bad but not badly enough to make any sort of sacrifice to help others. doesn't have to be a huge sacrifice. Just a few hours of your time out of a weekend will do absolutely WONDERS.

[Haha456]

@Asker

there's no such thing as "lacking patience" when you're being tortured for 15 years. If you were in my position, you wouldn't last a year without complaining, hoping someone will come help offer some support.

Like I said, you don't know what it feels like to suffer, which is why you're insisting that I'm spoiled for finding it unbearable or complaining about why wouldn't anyone offer any support.

From my evaluation of your writing, I sense that you have a very fragile ego and a bit immature. You can't admit that you are just like the rest of the world who does not care so you are desperately looking for every excuse to prop yourself up.

if you're not helping others, you're not helping others. Quit coming on here and try to act like god. I know you're lying. You're not doing any of these things.

Genuinely good people who help others don't brag about helping others. Because they are not doing the good deeds for attention, they are doing it out the pure desire to benefit other people. I donate, I give to the homeless, I don't come on here to act like I"m a superhero just because I do these things.

[Asker]

Anecdotes anecdotes. You don't know me and you had been making assumptions about me so how do you expect me to believe your little sob story? Look, it's not even my fault you got tortured or whatever anecdotes happened to you but there had also been people experiencing worse that you who i personally know and I'm glad I was able to help her restart her life. Because she wasn't a bitch who make assumptions on people. That's why people like them are worthy but you aren't. Still makes sense why no one helped you out tho. No body likes sociopaths. So if you wanna call me a liar then don't expect me to believe you're telling the truth.

[Haha456]

Because I can learn a lot about you through reading what you say. Your words show more about you than you think. Your defiant nasty attitude , tone of voice, choice of words, reactions towards statements, and most important of all: your train of thought. there's also been a few crucial highlighted contradictions in your statements.

why are you so desperate to be seen as a great person? if you don't help others, you don't help others. No need to so desperately try to convince others that you're the greatest samaritan on earth. Because I can clearly tell you aren't.

[Asker]

And haven't you seen your own comment? Of course I can also just say the same thing about you. Except I can elaborate which you failed to do. The fact that put words in my mouth, and you can't even answer me when I ask you where I put in there saying I'm a good person just says a lot about you. Again don't dodge this question but where did I say I'm a great person again?

[Haha456]

because you're egotistical.

you're trying to act like I'm a spoiled brat for complaining about nobody helping me. This a clear indication you don't understand what suffering is. It also shows a lack of empathy.

Just wait until you suffer 15 years of misery with absolutely nobody to help you for 15 years, lets see if you would still feel the same way.

Someone who has never been tortured will never understand the need for help.

Someone who does not understand why others need for help, will never help.

[Haha456]

Just wait until it is YOUR TURN to suffer. You will finally understand why

[Asker]

That's an ad hominem. Just like if i say because you're a spoiled brat and you are trying to act like i am egotistical. It's a clear indication that you are just someone with a really high standards.

Seems more to me that you have been rejecting people's offers because it has to be something luxurious you want and you're just salty you cannot get a Gucci bag for 15 years. And i love how you are still dungeon my question asking you if we're i said i'm a good person.

[Haha456]

You spent the bulk of your time on here trying to undermine someones need for help and also making a joke of my 15 years of suffering alone

Do you sound like an empathetic kind person? No

Just a very egotistical person that got offended cuz he didn't get the superhero award for a couple of toy donations you made 5 years ago.

Calling me spoiled does not entitle you to be neglectful and unkind

[Asker]

And you spent the rest of your time trying to make assumptions about me before I even made a conclusion about you just because of my question. Are you a spoiled brat? Yes and you still dodged the question I asked where was it that I'm calling myself a hero or an angel. You're making that up

[Haha456]

because why would an empathetic person speak so neglectfully and rudely of someone's suffering?

why would you undermine someone's suffering?

you spent the bulk of the conversation trying to justify how you should not be obligated to do as much as possible to help others.

all of these alone proves you dont care.

[Haha456]

you don't sound anything close to empathetic. though you love claiming you are empathetic.

[Asker]

And why would someone who claims to be not a spoiled brat have such high standard it comes to people helping them? And why would someone who is not a spoiled brat would make assumptions on someone just because they are asking a question. If you want to conclude that i don't care about others that i like to conclude that howIf you want to conclude that i don't care about others that i like to conclude that how simply ungrateful you are. And you're still dodging the question where i asked where i said i am an empathetic person. You're still trying to put words into my mouth

[Haha456]

[And why would someone who claims to be not a spoiled brat have such high standard it comes to people helping them?]

lets see if you would still say the same thing after being tortured for 15 years with depression and misery. this is a clear indication you've never suffered.

[If you want to conclude that i don't care about others that i like to conclude that howIf you want to conclude that i don't care about others that i like to conclude that how simply ungrateful you are.]

this is just your coping mechanism. Blaming me makes you feel less guilty about not helping me. I never asked you for help. I never expected any help from you. Like I've said over and over again, I can't force anyone to help me. Helping others should come naturally from the heart. I never criticized you for not helping others. I don't care if you don't want to help me.

The ONLY THING that I am criticizing you for is the fact that you're egotistical enough to call yourself "a great person who has the utmost empathy for others" YET, criticize me for expecting someone to help me.

I only give credit to those who actually want to make an impact. You don't care about making an impact. You care more about doing as little as possible even though you clearly know it will make absolutely no improvement to my depression.

NEWS FLASH! Donating a few toys will not make me happier. It will not make me less lonely. It will not show that you care.

A similar example for comparison is that you're expecting to receive the "handworker" reward because you did 1 hour of unpaid community service in your lifetime. This does not count. 1 hr of community service does not make you a hard worker or a good person. That was only 1 hr. It was as little as possible as you did. 1 hour means nothing to the community either.

In this case, you did less than an hour. Donating does not mean shit. So no, you don't deserve the superhero aware for donating 5 dollars. You're not a superhero. Go cry elsewhere

[Haha456]

you clearly are completely unable to put yourself in the shoes of someone who is suffering. Just wait until it is YOUR TURN to suffer, you will realize how silly it is what you've said on here.

[Asker]

I'm not even talking about not part where you said being tortured for 15 years. However i'm talking about how you disregard the effort of someone trying to help someone out by listening to their problems and even giving them stuff because you think it isn't enough. But even if someone has been tortured for 15 years, of course i would help them out but if they don't act like a spoiled brat like you who already made assumptions about someone before this thread even started. So i am blaming of course and if you want to ask me why then ask yourself why you're making assumptions about me at the start. If donating doesn't means yet then there is no point people should donate then coming to say no one should donate to you if it doesn't mean shit. So yeah take it or leave it. And again you're still dodging the part where i asked where i said i'm an angel or a hero

[Asker]

And you know a lot of the times it only takes an hour to save someone's life and if someone choose not to get saved, of course i won't save them just like you

[Haha456]

I never ever disregarded your effort. But your "effort" does little to nothing and means nothing to anyone.

here's an example:

when i was lonely in high school , i was being abused, under depression. Everyone knew I was sad, had no friends, lonely. Nobody ever cared to talk to me or even hangout with me for a few hours or took the time to ask what was wrong. I"m NOT expecting someone to be my best friend. But hanging out with me for a few hours would mean the world to me.

I had classmates who did the bare minimum and sang stupid songs so they could cheer me up. But nobody would do the bare minimum of spending a few hours with me. You might call "singing a fun song for 10 seconds" But it does nothing for me. You can try to justify how "amazing" you are by doing the bare minimum, which doesn't mean anything to anyone.

But at the end of the day, you have made no impact. 1 hour of community service helping the community does not mean anything. how much can you accomplish in 1 hour? how much can people benefit from that?

you're more concerned about doing as little as possible than to make an impact on others. I don't praise that at all. I"m not trying to negate what you've done. But Its certainly not anything close to being impressive. You definitely do not deserve the superhero award. Not even close.

[Haha456]

I"m not saying that you're a bad person for making an attempt. But you don't deserve an award either. I wouldn't be convinced that you're a kind person , just because you donated a few things.

[Haha456]

you're talking in the perspective of someone who does not know what suffering is. but when you've been suffering for 15 years, you will be desperate for help. The situation becomes unbearable. Its breaking you all over the place. Its difficult to withstand life. I'm desperate for someone who can make an impact.

I don't give a shit about someone who does not care about making an impact in my life. Donating a few jackets to me , does nothing for me. My life would still be unbearable. And I will know that you don't care.

[Asker]

You never disregard my effort but you're still saying it is nothing so if you're saying it is nothing then there is no difference if i'm not going to help anyone anyways. Just like there is no difference if anyone is just going to help you out because for you it is nothing so like what i said, if someone shows not to get save then of course i won't save them just like you. Just like you wouldn't care if someone actually took time to try to fix you up. You are assuming that i would give something useless to someone. The fact that you're still making assumptions just simply means that you are someone who is worthy of my help. So if you like to assume that i don't really help people out and if you assume that i only give jackets when someone don't need it, then i assume your anecdotes are overly exaggerated and i assume you're a spoiled brat. Ok i will answer your question how one hour can accomplish anything. If someone collapse on the street, it will only take me 1 hour to bring that person to the hospital and save their lives. If a girl gets raped, it would even only take a few minutes if i call the police and hold that rapist and use in the rest of the time to reassure her and it would take wouldn't if she is someone who would actually listen unlike you. If you are saying that im not a bad person then i am saying i don't need an award. Again that is still the question you've dodging. Where exactly did i say i need an award?

[Haha456]

You never spent any effort helping other people. You made an "attempt" to help others. Because reality is donating a few things requires no effort at all.

Donating a few used jackets does not prove that you are kind or that you care enough to make an impact on others.

Someone who cares more about doing as little as possible than to make any sort of impact is not anywhere close to being impressive by any means

I dont care if you sing cheap 5 second funny songs to cheer me up when im lonely but if you're too selfish to even 2 hours talking to me, you dont have any empathy.

you're not a kind caring person. End of discussion. No more need to call yourself the superhero. Cuz you're not

[Asker]

Then you never faced any real torture for 15 years. I mean why is it ok for you to make assumptions about me but it's not ok for me to make assumptions about you? What sane and "abused" person is a hypocrite? Whining about not getting a Gucci jacket for 15 years doesn't make you a martyr. So if that's the case, no need to call yourself the tortured one.

[Haha456]

If you didn't releive any of my pain, you did nothing for me. I dont care if you spent 15 secinds trying to make me feel better. If it didn't make a difference, nobody cares if you tried.

If Accusing me of random things makes you feel better about being a selfish piece of shit

[Haha456]

Being in pain for 15 years, desperate for relief, i really won't care about your lame attempts unless you are serious about making an impact. If you made no difference, i won't give a shit about you. I NEED RELIEF, not some asshole who is too selfish to give up a few hours of his day to pay attention to me.

[Haha456]

"Im gonna attempt to help even though I know it is not enough to help you. Im too selfish and lazy to do a tiny bit more" does not count as kindness. Ok?

[Asker]

Well it seems like you don't care at all if anyone help you out so so there's no point. Since you already started making assumptions in the first place, does not count as "not a spoiled brat" ok?

[Asker]

And also you don't care save someone's life who actually suffered for 15 years or even more than that and that's because she isn't a spoiled brat like you

[Haha456]

[Well it seems like you don't care at all if anyone help you out so so there's no point. Since you already started making assumptions in the first place, does not count as "not a spoiled brat" ok?]

why are you changing the topic? this topic was about YOU, never about me. Lets finish talking you before we talk about anything else.

does shifting the topic to me make you feel better about the fact that you are just as selfish and uncaring as the rest of them? In fact, you spent this entire thread trying to shift attention off of the fact that you don't care. Accusing me of random things, lame attempts at changing the topic.

I'm a nurse. When I was in nursing school, I spent time tutoring classmates who needed help on their homework for free. When I was in middle school and high school, I have done plenty of volunteer work at hospitals, daycare centers. When I had friends, I was the type of friend who would do absolutely anything to help them whenever they needed help. I do help people. Unlike you.

[Haha456]

When I help people, I think about making an impact. Any sort of impact whether if it is a big impact or a smaller impact. I don't constantly sit around and think about "what is the least, tiniest thing I can do for others? (even when you clearly know it won't help them much at all)

[Haha456]

Instead of singing cheap 10 second songs for a lonely person, I would spend a few hours to talk to them or hangout with them.

And no, singing cheap stupid 10 second songs for someone, will not prove that you are a kind , caring person. It WON'T make them feel any better.

And they will know you don't care because if you did, you would hangout with them for a few hours. Apparently you just didn't think they were worth your sacrifice.

[Asker]

And why did you change the topic from the start? This is just me asking if it's weird just feeling guilty not asking for your assumptions. When i help people i think of making an impact when they deserve it. I don't wait for the sake of just helping others but i do it because i really feel like it. If you want to keep repeating what you think i would do then i would keep repeating what you think you just wanted like that gucci jacket you've always wanted for 15 years and it up torture to not get one.

[Haha456]

I never changed the topic. Does accusing me of random shit make you feel better about the reality of who you are?

You're such a narcissist. Does it offend you that much that I didn't call you a great caring person? You spent days harassing me over the fact that I didn't give you a superhero award.

IF YOU DON'T TO CARE TO HELP, GO FUCK OFF. BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY, IF YOU'RE NOT MAKING AN IMPACT, IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER IF YOU HELP OR NOT.

IF YOU KNOW YOUR LAME EFFORTS WON'T BENEFIT ME AT ALL, DON'T HELP ME.

[Asker]

Ironically, you're accusing me of someone who don't listen to their friends, accusing me of someone who'd just sing 10 cheap songs to help them out. So is that hypocrisy I see? And if you're not a narcissist, then why are you a hypocrite?

[Asker]

"IF YOU KNOW YOUR LAME EFFORTS WON'T BENEFIT ME AT ALL, DON'T HELP ME." Good! Because I'd rather you suffer anyways. I have good friends to help not you

[Haha456]

That doesn't prove im a narcissist.

you're just an angry narcissist who is pissed he didn't win an award.

if this is how you treat people online when they don't kiss your ass, I can't imagine how you treat people in real life.

[Asker]

And what you said doesn't proven an angry narcissist either.

And i can also say you're just an angry narcissist who is just pissed for not getting a gucci jacket for 15 years.

[Haha456]

I have proof why you are a narcissist.

On the other hand, you have absolutely no prof I am a narcissist.

[Haha456]

I am not obligated to give you the "superhero" award if you don't deserve it.

Its not my fault that you are not a caring person who loves helping others.

[Asker]

I have proof you're a spoiled brat

On the other hand, you have no proof im a narcissist

I'm not obligated to give you a gucci jacket because you don't deserve it

It's not my fault you're just a spoiled brat who takes "not getting a luxury bag" a torture

[Haha456]

You never ever cared about helping me. So why would i expect you to give me a gucci bag? You wouldn't even spend a few hours out of your week to help me. Dont even talk about giving me a gucci bag

[Haha456]

you're a narcissist because people of your kind tend to explode into rage whenever someone doesn't praise you or give you compliments even if you dont deserve it. It is one of the biggest tell tale signs of narcissism

[Asker]

You don't even meet the general population. If you claim so, how are you still alive? And if you don't know me personally then you shouldn't make assumptions about me just based on your circle of experience which isn't even equivalent to millions in the population. And just because many don't, doesn't mean a specific person wouldn't. I can point out where you made assumptions about me. "its because you are able to sympathize but not empathize. You don't know what it is like which is why you don't care to listen to your friends' sad stories or offer help. Very few people exist to help others." Yeah that's one bold assumption you made to someone you don't even know personally. So if you like to base things on the experience you have, then in my experience, it's those victim mentality people like you who makes assumptions on someone who are the spoiled brat speaking from the general population.

[Haha456]

Because you just said that I should be greatful for the tiny meaningless shit you do to help others regardless if you made an impact or not.

Guess what? Nobody cares if you "tried" to do as little as possible to help. Unless it actually helped someone feel better, your attempts dont matter. You won't win a superhero award either

Lonely people need someone to talk to or a friend to do things with. If you think singing a cheap song for 10 seconds is the best you can do, go fuck off. you're better off never even trying to help. Same analogy for you right here

I know you dont help people. you're just hiding behind the "you dont know anything about me so you can't draw any conclusions" as a way of defending your narcissism. I have learned A LOT ABOUT YOU by talking to you on here

[Haha456]

I know you have no empathy either by calling victims of abuse "spoiled brats " or saying they just have a "victim mentality"

Now later you're gonna reply by comtinuing to insist you have a lot of empathy

No you dont any empathy. Nothing you say shows you have any empathy. Same goes for trying to defend how "doing as little as possible " is enough when it comes to helping others.

[Asker]

I'm sure you won't care if i try because you're just someone who don't wanna be helped. I mean you're pretty much the only one here who continues to keep whining about what I said so I don't think everyone else is a spoiled brat just like you.

Ok if you like to think I only give 10 cheap songs, then I think you only want that gucci jacket for 15 years. Again you make assumtions about me, i make assumptions about you just to be fair.

[Asker]

And you're not grateful to someone who'd actually listen to your problem and take time council you because you treat them as if they're just singing you 10 cheap songs. Which is why you're someone who don't wanna be helped. If you're still wondering why I don't help you out, because you're not like someone who i just helped out by actually counseling them and give them a nice start up. They're all grateful unlike you.

[Haha456]

Empathetic people encourage others to do the most they can to help. They dont insist that sufferers should be greatful for watever tiny little useless shit they receive even if it made no difference for their terrible situation.

This is the proof that you're not empathetic. Empathetic people do not think this way.

[Haha456]

@Asker

[Asker]

They don't insist that the people who help them should give up everything like their life and dreams to "help" them out.
And I can just say that's proof you're just a spoiled brat that no one likes to help.

[Haha456]

when did I ever ask you to give up everything to help me? never. did I ever ask you to buy me a gucci bag? never.

the reason why you're constantly trying to over-exaggerate what I want from you is because you can't deal with the fact that you're the type of person who "wants to do as little as possible" for others. Over exaggerating what I"m expecting from you MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER about yourself doing as little as possible.

"If taking one further step to help someone means giving up my own life, then I shouldn't have to take that one extra step.
Bad news for you... taking that one extra step doesn't require you to give up your dreams or your life. It only requires you to give up a few hours out of your week. Its not gonna kill you. Its not gonna leave you bankrupt. Its not gonna starve you. Its not gonna cost you a gucci bag.

If hanging out with a lonely person a few hours a week is too much for you, then you can give up on your fight on being the most empathetic person ever. And funny thing is.. you spent days on here trying to justify how you shouldn't do this.

[Asker]

The reason why you keep underappreciating what and just assume I don't help is because you just want more than enough.
And I love how you keep saying it doesn't require me to give up my life when you basically just ignore my claims when told you i helped someone and it only took 2 hours or less to save her life and it even only took a few minutes to actually call the cops to save a girl out but no. You want my luxurious house which is why you treat that 2 hours of effort and sacrifice as if it's just 10 minutes of cheap songs. Now tell me who's exaggerating again?

[Haha456]

[The reason why you keep underappreciating what and just assume I don't help is because you just want more than enough.]

I'm not underappreciating anyone. Because why would I have to appreciate something that did absolutely nothing for me? If me asking for 2 hours of your time to just sit and talk to me is considered "too much", then you're a selfish piece of shit.

I don't care about what kind of comebacks or arguments you want to shoot back at me.
YOU'RE STILL A PIECE OF SHIT. And its time you stop trying to fight and admit that you are one.

You like to overexaggerate "your help". When in fact, "your help" helped NOBODY

[Haha456]

I don't think I am asking for too much for just 2 hours of your time out of a week.

And yes, you heard that right. You can save someone's life just by talking to them for 2 hours. It actually happened to a youtuber who decided reached out to her high school friend (who she hadn't spoken to in 10 years) that was about to commit suicide that night. When you talk to a lonely person who is suffering from depression, you're giving them a ray of sunshine and hope that at least someone cares about them.

And obviously you do not care enough about them to give them 2 hours of your time.

if you think that me asking you for 2 hours of your time is the equivalent of asking you to give up your dreams , your life, buy me a gucci bag. You're the opposite of empathetic.

[Haha456]

You just said that me asking for 2 hours of your time is the equivalent of "giving up your dreams". how is giving up 2 hours a week, the same thing as giving up your dreams? why don't you answer this question first?

[Asker]

Except i don't consider 2 hours a burden but you do and you are projecting how you feel about 2 hours to me which is why when i say i don't consider 2 hours a burden, you assume that i don't really do it so for thinking that way, i would say i assume you don't think two hours is enough for you but you just wanted more than two hours.

[Asker]

And exactly point out where i said that two hours is equivalent to giving up your dreams. When you say burden, that means giving up your dreams and your life. Not 2 hours of your life. That's why when i say i don't burden myself, i don't give up my life for someone but two hours of given time is it considered a burden to me. It would only be considered a burden to spoiled brats like you who will never admit they are wrong

[Haha456]

Like I said, if you're not gonna make an impact on me regardless if it is small or large, I will not care if you help me. Singing a cheap 10 second song to cheer me up DOES NOTHING for me. And I am not obligated to be thankful for that because IT DID NOTHING FOR ME. You didn't think I was worth your effort in spending a few hours with.

Its about the impact that matters. Doing as little as possible even though you know you clearly made no impact will still make you a selfish piece of shit. Becaue if you had a big enough heart, you would go a step further to make an impact. whether small or large.

I'm not entitled or spoiled. I'm not asking you to be jesus or make a huge impact. But there are people out there who wouldn't even care about doing enough to make a small impact.

[Haha456]

[That's why when i say i don't burden myself, i don't give up my life for someone but two hours of given time is it considered a burden to me.]

"burden" is SUBJECTIVE. selfish people who don't care would feel that volunteering even a few hours every week is a big burden. however, big hearted people would not feel it is a big burden. Because big hearted people think that making other people feel happy is WORTH IT. Seeing other people better off is very important to them. It really depends on how much you care about others.

For me, I feel like its important to give back to society regardless if is mentoring others or volunteering or spending time with people who are lonely, or helping your neighbor with things, participating in community events, tutoring underprivileged children.

[Haha456]

I evaluate a person's altruism completely based on how much they are willing to give up and how far they are willing to go to make an impact. Simply donating is not enough me to call you a kind hearted caring person. It makes you a decent person but not kind.

[Haha456]

My advice for people who help but know they won't make any impact:

its best to not help. because even if you tried to help, you wouldn't have done anything for them anyways.

[Asker]

Which is exactly why i don't consider two hours of helping someone out a burden. While you yourself admitting it is subjective, and you say that two hours of helping someone is considered a burden then why not speak for yourself?

"Big hearted people would not feel it is a big burden" and isn't that exactly why i'm saying i don't burden myself when it comes to doing that?

[Asker]

It is still you who is considering two hours of helping someone out a burden which is why you insist that i should burden myself if i want to help someone. If your idea on burdening yourself means that two hours of helping someone out listening to their feelings then maybe your heart is it so big after all. You said it i didn't

[Haha456]

Certain criteria has to be met in order for me to categorize someone as kind. So far speaking to you for the past week, I have complied a lot of information about you. You're no where close to being kind. You are a decent person but not a kind one.

[Asker]

What still stand is that you said that helping someone out for only two hours by listening to their feelings and talk to them about it is what do you consider a burden while you're saying that kindhearted people don't think that is a burden so you just contradicted yourself. And at this point you're just trying to take it back.

[Asker]

By the way i'm just going with what you were saying and i wasn't even calling myself a kind person. But if that's your idea then let's go with that one

[Haha456]

two hours is nowhere close to being a burden. its a tiny burden but not large enough to deem yourself as kind. kind people dont spend weeks on GAG trying to justify not helping others as much as possible. kind people encourage others to help as much as possible.

[Asker]

Oh i thought it has to be at least 2 hours to burden myself instead of singing cheap songs for 10 minutes. You just like to change the rules in the end do you?

[Haha456]

I never said hanging out with someone for 2 hours was enough to makes you a kind person. but you did spend an entire week trying to justify how you should deserve credit for helping someone even if you didn't actually help the sufferer at all.

[Asker]

And yeah kind people also don't justify their spoiled brattiness for weeks. Might as well take your own advice

[Haha456]

Here is who I would categorize as kind:

1. naturally checks up on others without anyone telling them to do so.
2. they're not only concerned about family but also strangers, old classmates, random people.
3. they don't try to justify doing as little as they can for others. they will always encourage everyone to do the best they can.
4. they do random favors for free. If you're moving, they agree to help. If you need mentorship, they do it for free. Money rarely crosses their mind.
5. they're ok with sacrificing their leisure to helping others and this is usually more than just 2 hours a week. they don't complain about it because they believe its worth it to see you happy.
6. Helping you may be a disadvantage to them but they still want to do it. For example, my friend taught me how to drive. Even though i was using up his gas driving his car. Gas is expensive. He still wanted to do it. Because he knows how many opportunities I can get after getting my drivers license.
(This is the gold standard of a kind hearted person) Not many people reach the gold standard. Not many people reach even half of this gold standard criteria.

[Haha456]

My scoring criteria for a kind hearted person:
"how much are you willing to give up in order to help people who are not your family?"

[Haha456]

[And yeah kind people also don't justify their spoiled brattiness for weeks. Might as well take your own advice]

you sound like a really nasty person. do you realize that? i can tell a lot about your personality just by talking to you.

[Asker]

1. And who said i don't not nature check up on someone without anyone telling me to do?

2. And since when did i say i'm only concern about families?

3,4,5,6 thise are all those things you have been repeating for a long time while you have been dodging my questions asking you when did i say i didn't know about those?

I should also consider saying is that kind people don't make assumptions on anyone. And how about you? do you even realize how disgusting you are? I don't even think you have been suffering for 15 years just based on how you're talking to me.

[Asker]

We haven't even talk to each other before and you were already made assumptions about me so how can you even tell? You're not giving any proof. But i can at least just say the fact that you're already made assumptions about me in your first comment just proves how much of a spoiled brat you are yet you have no proof on your assumptions about me when you made your first comment

[Haha456]

you're just trying to pick another fight with me just because I didn't feed your narcissism.

you know very well yourself how much you are willing to sacrifice for others.

I am not obligated to call you something you are not.

[Asker]

And if you're not trying to pick a fight on someone then why do you have to make assumptions? Because you think you are a Ms. I know everything? That is basically a narcissistic mindset.

[Haha456]

what makes you think I haven't learned single thing about you over arguing with you for 2 weeks?

you don' talk like an empathetic person, you don't think like an empathetic person. there's nothing about you that sounds empathetic.

do you know what I think of you?

you're a narcissist. you're nasty and immature.

if you think that you can fully hide yourself behind your screen, you're actually not. And its pretty evident in the way you disguised your profile.

[Asker]

Because you haven't learned the fact that you engaged into making this argument by making false assumptions on someone in the first place.

And you don't talk like someone who had suffered at all so do you know what I think of you? You're a spoiled and immature brat. Also what's the big deal if I "disguised my profile" when you yourself aren't even giving your real name and picture in here? Irony?

[Haha456]

I've never seen a guy so desperate for the superhero award.

[Haha456]

you're not a nice person. sorry. argue with me all you want, start another fight. my opinion of you won't change.

[Haha456]

you're not gonna convince someone that you're an empathetic person by harassing them, looking for excuses to start a fight, giving them a hard time. It only makes you look bad , unempathetic, immature and unethical.

there's absolutely nothing about your words that convinces me you are empathetic and self-sacrificial to any extent.

[Asker]

I've never seen a girl so desperate for whatever she demanded like a spoiled brat would. You're not someone who had truly suffered for 15 years and the facts about you will not change. And you are looking for excuse is to just get offended to justify your way of making assumptions on people is not someone who isn't a spoiled brat would do

[Haha456]

you're just making yourself seem like a terrible person, which you probably are.

[Asker]

And you're just making yourself seem like a spoiled Karen which you probably are

[Haha456]

how is suffering for 15 years and asking for help called "being spoiled"?

are you saying I don't deserve help?

[Asker]

And how is someone just asking this question make them someone who don't listen to their friends?

If you like to call me a narcissist then yes you're someone who don't deserve to be helped

[Haha456]

[And how is someone just asking this question make them someone who don't listen to their friends?]

you're so filled with rage that you can't even write a comprehensible sentence.

why don't you just give up?

there's nothing about you that is empathetic. you failed miserably at trying to sound empathetic.

[Haha456]

[If you like to call me a narcissist then yes you're someone who don't deserve to be helped]

just because you don't like being called a narcissist, it doesn't mean you are not a narcissist.

I grew up with a narcissist. Trust me, narcissist HATE being exposed about their true selves. Its a textbook characteristic of a narcissist. You can't tolerate your own flaws like normal people. Narcissists like you go crazy insane filled with rage. And you will harm others if it makes you feel better about it.

[Asker]

And you're so full full with desperation so why don't you just give it up? There's nothing about you that is actually suffering for 15 years. And what gives? You like being called a spoiled brat so it doesn't make any difference. And i grew up with spoiled brats and they don't like being exposed either.

[Haha456]

You can't prove that I hadn't been suffering from 15 years.

But I can prove you're not empathetic.

[Asker]

You can't prove that i am not empathetic but i can prove you haven't been suffering for 15 years

[Haha456]

Don't try to desperately change the topic. The topic had always been about your "lack of empathy". The topic never had anything to do with me.

[Asker]

Your assumptions has nothing to do with my question either which is the main topic so don't try to desperately change the topic.

[Haha456]

is that your way of coping as a selfish bitch?

[Haha456]

you're straight up a narcissist, without a doubt

[Asker]

And is that your way of coping as a selfish spoiled brat? You are straight up a narcissist without a doubt

[Haha456]

why does it hurt you so bad that you I'm not calling you the most empathetic person ever?

[Asker]

why do you assume I just wanna be called an empathetic person? Why does it hurt when I say I feel guilty because my life is just a little too easy?

[Haha456]

why couldn't you take it when I decided you weren't empathetic?

[Haha456]

is it really that huge of an issue where you felt the need to dedicate weeks to harassing me?

[Asker]

And why couldn't you take it if i decided you were not actually tortured for 15 years? It's ironic when you say i'm harassing you when you're also making harassing comments about me by making assumptions in your first comment. So how about if i do the same?

[Haha456]

you can't accuse me of not having suffered for 15 years cuz you don't have any evidence of that.
but i do have plenty of evidence you're not empathetic.

[Asker]

Then you cannot accuse me for someone who don't listen to anyone's problems because you don't have evidence of that but i do have plenty of evidence that you're not suffering for 15 years

[Haha456]

i do have evidence. this entire comment thread is the evidence including your unkind, nasty words harrasssing me.

[Asker]

And i do have evidence which is your first comment and this entire thread is proof you are making harassment to me

[Haha456]

you have no proof that I was harassing you. you were the one who was nasty to me ebcause I wouldn't call you empathetic.

[Haha456]

i have no reason to be nasty to you.

[Asker]

Then you have no profile of harassing you and you were the one making assumptions about me so you are not suffering for 15 years. I have no reason to say nasty things to you

[Haha456]

you've said PLENTY of unkind, nasty things to me. its written all over this post.
simply denying it won't make the thread disappear.

[Asker]

And you're also made nasty things to me and it's written all over this post and denying it will not make it disappear

[Haha456]

why can't I be nasty to you if you have insulted me?

and if you were sooooo empathetic, you wouldn't be harrassing me , right?

[Asker]

And i wouldn't have say nasty things do you if you haven't need assumptions about me in the first comment which is basically a harassment.

And if you are suffering for 15 years then you wouldn't have harassed me

[Haha456]

I think your nastiness proves my assumption to be correct.

an unempathetic person harassing and being nasty to others when his Narcissistic ego is hurt

[Asker]

And your first comment on what you said in this thread proves your nastiness

[Haha456]

if you can't even show you're empathetic, why would you demand me call you empathetic?

[Asker]

If you can't show you're suffering for 15 years, why would you demand me call you a victim?

[Haha456]

you can't accuse me of not having suffered for 15 years because you have no proof.

On the other hand, I DO HAVE PROOF you are unempathetic. Take a look at your nastiness and narcissistic rage written all over this comment thread. Not a single word on here was kind from you.

[Asker]

Then again you can't accuse me of not listening to others because you have no proof.

On the other hand, I DO HAVE PROOF you are not suffering for 15 years. Take a look at your nastiness and narcissistic rage written all over this comment thread. Not a single word on here you say indicates you're truly suffering and worthy of being helped out.

I don't mind this thread loop going on for another few years. It's simple, call me unemphatic, i call you a spoiled brat. There's no other way around it.

[Haha456]

you clearly claimed you didn't want to "burden" yourself to help others. so how are you empathetic?

[Haha456]

an empathetic person is someone WHO IS WILLING TO BURDEN THEMSELVES to help others.

[Haha456]

[I don't mind this thread loop going on for another few years. It's simple, call me unemphatic, i call you a spoiled brat. There's no other way around it.]

This line itself surely doesn't sound anything close to being empathetic. Just another line of defiant narcissistic rage. You didn't get what you want so now you start name calling.

[Asker]

Because "burdening" is subjective. If you think listening to anyone's feelings and help cope with them is a burden then speak for yourself. Because that's not my idea but yours. If you think that's a burden then yeah that's what spoiled brats would think

[Asker]

Well yeah I'm unempathetic when it comes to people like you. There are other that deserved to be treated properly.

[Haha456]

Burdening is subjective. And the fact that you think 2 hours is a burden to you shows how selfish you are. If 2 hours is already a burden, then it means spending 1 full day volunteering to help others is too much for you. 2 hours is nothing. Its not anything close to being a burden. It is only a burden to you because you're a selfish piece of shit.

[Haha456]

2 hours is not a burden to me. I can go wayy longer than 2 hours out of my week helping people.

[Haha456]

[Well yeah I'm unempathetic when it comes to people like you. There are other that deserved to be treated properly.]

if you're willing to say that you're not willing to burden yourself to help others, it already shows you have HUGE LIMITS to on how much you care for others.

[Asker]

I wasn't even just talking about 2 hours but you gave that as an example so I went with it. I can even give more than 2 hours. But it was actually you giving 2 hours as an example of what burden is. So you're the one saying 2 hours is a burden not me.

[Haha456]

[Well yeah I'm unempathetic when it comes to people like you. There are other that deserved to be treated properly.]

if you're willing to say that you're not willing to burden yourself to help others, it already shows you have HUGE LIMITS to on how much you care for others.

[Haha456]

Kind people don't mind causing themselves inconvenience to help out others.
They don't claim that they are afraid of "burdening" themselves. Empathetic people do burden themselves out of the goodness of their heart.

I think I already have enough proof here that you're not an empathetic person.

You don't talk like a kind person. You don't have the attitude of a kind person

[Haha456]

take a look at firefighters, who would die to save other people's lives.
take a look at nurses who stand on their feet all day, being abused by patients, understaffed, underpaid.
take a look at police officers who face violent dangerous situations in order to protect society.
take a look at charitable donors who donate large sums to charties.
take a look at volunteers who dedicate their weekends to serving their communities.

From your attitude, I can tell you have never ever volunteered ever in your life, and I can tell you never plan to do so either.

[Haha456]

if you think "donating " a few things or listening to someone for 2 hours , will give you the superhero award. You're delusional. there's nothing "burdening" about either of those two things. Those two things is the easiest goddam shit you can ever do. It requires minimal effort, minimal sacrifice.

[Asker]

If you like to compare what i do to those people with those jobs I don't even have, "If you're really empathatic, you must do those" BS. It's not different if I say if you truly were suffering for 15 years, then you wouldn't have a shelter, internet connections, food, water, and other stuff you have people from the poverty line in really poor countries like in Africa. So if you like to ignore what I offer, then i ignore your suffering. Simple.

[Asker]

Or i can say, if you truly are suffering, then you wouldn't be in G@G. But you won't like it if I downplay your issue. If that's the case, you don't downplay how someone helps someone. You don't even like to treat anyone like how you wanna be treated

[Haha456]

@Asker

do you realize that by saying " you're not willing to burden yourself to help others" basically is a way of saying: I want to help others but I'm not gonna sacrifice myself to help others.

people who categorize as empathetic DO SACRIFICE themselves for others maybe not always to the fullest extent such as police officers or firefighters. But things such as their entire weekend, taking on a lower paying job as a professor rather than to work in the field (where they can make more money) since they want to mentor youth / give back to the community. Someone who would rather take a loss for themselves so they can better off others.

If you think spending time with someone once for two hours is anything close to a sacrifice, you must be joking. there's nothing on here that proves you would sacrifice yourself for others.

What have you done for others throughout your lifetime? nothing. so far, you've stated nothing at all. You've never volunteered, you've never checked up on others without me telling you to.

Nothing but just a nasty mean attitude and insisting that you are an empathetic person.
If you were truly empathetic, you would've done something. You would've done more.

[Haha456]

@Asker

do you know how I immediately know that you werent empathetic?

when you stated "you weren't going to burden yourself at all to help others".

I know what that means. Its a nicer way of saying : you would help others but not in a way that would cause any loss / detriment to you.

and guess what? empathetic people do take a loss, whether big or small, to help others. This is called a sacrifice and it is one of the biggest hallmarks of empathy. Its the people that take a loss that care for others the most. Its the people that take a loss that make the biggest impact.

[Asker]

I don't because I also know that when saying I don't wanna burden myself when helping others also mean I don't have to die, get injured or give up everything to help someone out. If that's your idea of "empathy" then im not buying it. It's just your idea of just wanting more than enough. Nothing in here says that being empathetic means you have to sacrifice everything lesley.edu/.../the-psychology-of-emotional-and-cognitive-empathy

[Asker]

www.tikvahlake.com/.../ nothing in here that they burden themselves. You just want people to die for you. And you don't think you're selfish? Ofcourse you wouldn't.

[Asker]

And those people who actually do burden themselves, who can't say no and get manipulated so easily are not only empaths in a whole new level but they're fools who lack self respect.

[Haha456]

You said you weren't going to burden yourself. You never said that You were never gonna kill yourself for others. Nobody ever asked you to die here.

I have met many people over the years who have the same attitude as you. They say they would help others but they're not gonna burden themselves. I know exactly what that means. You're not the first person I've come across to say something like that. I know from experience that it means you're willing to help others but not at a loss to yourself.

I have been around empathetic people throughout my life time and trust me on this, when it comes to helping others their first words are never ever "I would help others but I would never burden myself" Empathetic people are not concerned about the losses. Not all of them would give up their lives for others. But their first reaction to helping others really is not "I don't want to burden myself"

Admit it, you have HUGE LIMITS when it comes to helping others.

[Haha456]

and its honestly quite funny how such an empathetic person like you had never done anything for others or his community.

if you were truly empathetic and altruistic, it wouldn't be so difficult to mention the things you do for others.

[Asker]

Again I don't consider helping people out a burden. That's still something you keep missing.

[Asker]

www.tikvahlake.com/.../ Now tell me again where they say burden in this?

[Asker]

And it's funny how someone who claimed to be suffering for 15 years actually has everything she needs.

[Haha456]

[Again I don't consider helping people out a burden. That's still something you keep missing.]

you just called helping other people a burden. Nobody ever asked you to die. I only asked you to help others. Your response was : I'm not gonna burden myself.

[Haha456]

[And it's funny how someone who claimed to be suffering for 15 years actually has everything she needs.]

if I had everything I needed, we wouldn't still be arguing right now. Its sick how people who have DONE NOTHING for others who claim they're empathetic.

[Haha456]

Taking on a burden to help others is the hallmark of empathy.

A volunteer mission traveling to africa to help sick people for 3 months for no pay, missing out on 3 months worth of paycheck, so you can help others. This itself is a burden. Living in a tent filled with African mosquitoes at night without your air conditioner for 3 months.

Not wanting to burden yourself is like saying you want to protect and serve the community as a police officer but you dont want to take the danger of patrolling the streets ever at all.

You're no police officer. But you're probably the guy who installs the security cameras. The guy who installs the security cameras get a paycheck , never needs to risk his life, never needs to volunteer. He doesn't have to burden himself,

[Haha456]

there is a huge difference between a police officer and the guy who installs security cameras. Both help people. But its just that one is willing to sacrifice and take on the burden of helping others. who is more empathetic? the police officer

sacrifice is the hallmark of empathy

[Asker]

And if you were really suffering then i wouldn't we are you with you. But it's just that you never have a proof so that you've been suffering for 15 years just like how you don't have a proof that i don't do anything. But if you like to say the whole fred is a proof that i like to save the whole bread is a proof of you being just a spoiled brat. Also because you're not those people who are in africa starving

[Haha456]

every time it gets closer to me proving you as not empathetic , you always change the topic to accusing me of random things.

I have PROOF you are not as nice as you say you are.

Sacrifice is the hallmark of empathy. If you're not willing to burden yourself at all, you're not empathetic. END OF STORY

[Asker]

And everytime it gets closer to me proving you're not even suffering. Because you also keep dodging questions and even dodge the articles i sent to you by changing the topics.

I have proof you are not really a victim.

Because you have to compare what i do with something even more extreme just to please you which also shows how much of a spoiled brat you're. If that's the case then you are not suffering unless you are really living in africa with no water and food while getting sick. End of story

[Haha456]

accusing me of random things will not persuade me that you're empathetic. Nothing will change my mind about that about you. and I can tell it deeply offends you.

[Asker]

Accusing me of random things will not persuade me that you're just a spoiled brat. Nothing will also change my mind about you and it obviously offends you. You just said it yourself.

[Haha456]

i don't care if you call me a spoiled brat. because i know for a fact that i have suffered plenty in life. what you say does not bother me. but clearly what i say bothers you. it bothers you so much because you're a narcissist.

[Asker]

i don't care if you call me a narcissist. because i know for a fact that i do make sacrifices to help people out many times in life. what you say does not bother me. but clearly what i say bothers you. it bothers you so much because you're a spoiled brat.

[Haha456]

you just said you're not gonna burden yourself when it comes to helping others. you also spent weeks protesting about why you shouldn't have to give up your weekend to help others. These words were yours.

[Haha456]

you do care a lot about being called empathetic while you know you clearly do not deserve it.

[Asker]

you just think helping others is burdening yourself. you also spent weeks protesting about how one should help out others. These words were yours. You do care about being considered suffering for 15 years while you don't deserve it

[Haha456]

helping others will always be some sort of a "burden" on you. People who are unwilling to take on any sort of burden are the ones who make the least impact. and these people are like you. you want to help others but you do not want to burden yourself at all.

[Haha456]

so how do you still justify that you're still the most empathetic person one earth?

when YOU DO NOT WANT TO TAKE ON ANY BURDEN

[Asker]

You just said helping others is a "burden" while I don't consider it to be. People who are demanding on how much they should give will always be the spoiled brat. and these people are like you say you're suffering but you don't experience any real hardship. You justify not being a spoiled brat while you demand for everything a person have to make you happy.

[Haha456]

"burden" clearly does exist for you. because you don't want to "burden " yourself with things. you're afraid of burden. you wouldn't be afraid of something that didn't exist right? so how are you sooooo empathetic? if burden is such a big thing to avoid to you?

[Asker]

Suffering doesn't clearly exist for you. because you don't want to appreciate things other people would've needed. you're afraid of suffering. you wouldn't be afraid of something that didn't exist right? so how are you sooooo "grateful? if being grateful is such a big thing to avoid to you?

[Haha456]

if you were sooo empathetic, why would you be sooo afraid of taking on the burden of helping others?

empathetic people burden themselves, you do not. therefore, you are not empathetic.

you have failed to prove yourself as empathetic over and over again. As if accusing me of random things will prove you're empathetic, it won't.

[Asker]

If you're so tortured for 15 years then you would've learn how to appreciate any help. Why would you be so afraid of appreciating?

People who aren't spoiled brat show gratitude, you do not.

You have failed to prove yourself as a victim over and over as if accusing me of random thing will prove your so called hardship

[Haha456]

because like I have said a million times over and over again, I don't care about people who try to help but won't burden themselves to help. Because you must burden yourself to make any sort of impact. Its the impact that matters. "Trying to help" does not mean it actually helps.

I dont care if you sing a cheap 5 second song for me cuz I"m lonely. If i don't feel better from it, I don't care about what you do. I don't care if you tried. It won't help unless you take a step further. and if you want to this, it will be some sort of a burden.

if you're not willing to take on the burden to help me, do not help me. because you won't help, even if you tried.

I want a friend. I want

[Haha456]

if you're not gonna help me even if you tried, do not help at all. it really won't matter if you helped at all.

[Haha456]

helping others comes at a cost to you. this cost is supposed to be a burden. if you do not want to take any burden, it already says you have HUGE LIMITS when it comes to helping others. Measure of empathy is how far you are willing to sacrifice for others. if you're not willing to burden yourself, it means you're not willing to make any sacrifice for others

[Asker]

Because i've also said million times over and over again, i don't care about those spoiled brats who are ungrateful because we should be grateful an appreciative if they truly were suffering. If you're going to get mad because nobody help you out then maybe it's because you already have everything you need, or you may just turn down those people who tried to help you out. Being someone who is suffering comes at cost. This cost is suppose to be you not having anything, not even a wi-fi connection for you to be online right now. And if you are still online then you're not suffering

[Haha456]

Because you're not willing to take on a burden for anyone regardless if theyre spoiled brat, or unspoiled brat

Quit looking for excuses to justify not taking a burden for others, which seems like you just obsessed with since the beginning of this convo

[Haha456]

You said what you said.

Now quit trying to go back to edit or change it

[Asker]

Because you're not suffering like those actual homeless and starving people do. Just following your logic. Quit looking for excuses to justify your brattiness

[Haha456]

Thats the most unsympathetic and unempathetic statement I ever heard.

So you won't help someone unless they are on the verge of starving to death?

That statement already shows a lot about you.

Like i said, i was right

[Asker]

And that's the brattiest thing i've ever heard.

So you won't appreciate someone unless they'd really jump off a building for you?

That statement shows a lot about you.

Like i said, i was right

[Haha456]

you sound ridiculously immature too.

there goes your character too.

[Asker]

you sound ridiculously immature too.

there goes your character too.

[Haha456]

the more we talk, the more you prove yourself as unempathetic. lets keep this convo going.

[Asker]

he more we talk, the more you prove yourself as an ungrateful spoiled brat. lets keep this convo going.

[Haha456]

is that all you could say? haha

you can't say anything else because you know you failed miserably in this argument.

[Asker]

is that all you could say? haha

you can't say anything else because you know you failed miserably in this argument.

[Haha456]

thats rights. all you can do is to repeat the same accusations back to me without proof. because you have nothing you can say any more.

you're not empathetic. you know it yourself. you just like to say you are because you're a narcissist.

[Asker]

thats rights. all you can do is to repeat the same accusations back to me without proof. because you have nothing you can say any more.

you're not suffering. you know it yourself. you just like to say you are because you're a spoiled brat.

[Haha456]

you have nothing else to say any more right?

you proved yourself as unempathetic. I didn't prove that you were unempathetic. You did it yourself. I knew all along you were not empathetic. You're just a narcissistic piece of shit who likes to harass and bully others when he doesn't get his ego boosted up.

[Asker]

you have nothing else to say any more right?

you proved yourself as not suffering. I didn't prove that you werent suffering. You did it yourself. I knew all along you were not suffering. You're just a spoiled brat piece of shit who likes to harass and bully others when he doesn't get his ego boosted up.

[Haha456]

thats right... go home and cry about losing this fight. you clearly have nothing else to say

[Asker]

thats right... go home and cry about losing this fight. you clearly have nothing else to say

[watercolor_lions]

If you want to stop feeling small, use your blessings to bless others. Feeling guilty helps no one. We in the US are significantly more financially blessed than other people in third world countries. Let your blessing be their blessing. Donate to a larger cause than yourself. You'll feel great and be making a difference.

I have struggled with the same feeling, and volunteering or being generous is a great cure.

[BlurryHaze]

In short no, but please don't feel bad about it at all. I can see you are humble and have humility, and though most people learn those from having something bad/tragic happen to them you are lucky enough to have them without. Just keep being grateful for your life so far and you'll go far. All the best!

[Dinosaursandanime65]

It’s a good thing you aren’t a filthy casual, in these terms. I detect a wee bit of unrecognized humbleness. It’s mostly good, but try not to feel any kind of discouragement. Perhaps there Willa be a day you find a chance to spread your prosperity.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHO!

[sheenagwapa]

pls don't be... you don't have to suffer, yoy don't have to serve humanity. never let anyone make you feel that your worth is dependent if you are useless and useful here on earth. your worth is dependent on the fact that God created yoy

[Anonymous]

I see what you mean.

As someone, who involuntarily went through hell and back (i will spare the long details) i'm not hating on those, who were blessed with an adequate living/family and having experienced few hardships.

If you can you can try to convert feeling guilty to feeling thankful. At least that is what my first thought is.

[whirled_up_girl]

Having sympathy for others is a good thing but I don't think you should feel guilty that you haven't had it as rough, I think it's fine for you to be grateful for that.

[Guy13]

That’s silly. You are blessed. Don’t waste your time and situation. Accomplish and Achieve. You are expected too accomplish in such a life without stress.

[SunshineAndSweetness]

I think what you’re feeling is normal but you need to come to terms with your life not being bad. Strange problem to have, isn’t it?

[Anonymous]

Sorry you’re upset that you’re a pampered spoiled cunt who gets to play life on easy mode. Hopefully something terrible happens to you so that you can experience what has been lacking in your life.

[Asker]

Seems like you dont know the meaning of spoiled. If you're so upset since you're trying to bring someone down for your own problems, it's not even my fault you're having a sad life.

[Anonymous]

do you own a house? do you make at last $90k? do you have no student loans or debt?

you're young... you'll start to realize how bad it will get when you get past 30.

[Asker]

Small house, yes, all cleared. And I'm trying to keep my records clean. The thing is that, there are already a lot of people at their 20s already facing hardships and how they were treated growing up. Mental illness is an epidemic and it's not only exclusive for people on their 30s.

[Opinion Owner]

you have no idea...

[Asker]

And as if you have any idea of what I'm referring to.

[Opinion Owner]

i do.

[Opinion Owner]

the thing is... you already have things that others can only dream of. so YOU don't know what you're talking about. you cannot put yourself in someones shoes when you claim your life is easy.

[Asker]

Then i have idea as well.

[Asker]

And you're only taking a look at people in their 30s just because that's not something I am.

[PetiteBabe64]

Yeah it is weird for feeling like that it makes you an idiot no offense.

[Asker]

Then explain how that's not a "no offense"? What idiotic action did I even do to burden myself and affect my current life?

[PetiteBabe64]

You got a Good life and your worrying about and feeling bad about people that Don’t ever Bother to care for themselves. They go out drink a bunch of alcohol then complain about Having a Hangover.
Then you have you the guy that feels bad for Idiots that get drunk then complain.
It’s easy to spot an idiot.
Here’s a little instruction Manual to spot an idiot.

1: if he/she drinking alcohol 🥃 then that person is an idiot drinking alcohol 🥃 itself is a idiot thing to do since it’s Poisonous to the liver.

2: does the person get angry over small things if so then you have successfully spotted an idiot.

Is the person a bad driver
If so then you have successfully spotted an idiot.

Does the person have a tendency to get locked up in jail if so then you have spotted an idiot.

Does the person hang out with an abuser and still stays with the Abuser if so then you have Spotted an idiot.

Does the person smoke Weed if so then you have spotted an idiot.

Does the person waste money on crap that They never use is so then you have Spotted an idiot.

Does the person feel bad for themselves make every excuse to never change and complain all the time about wanting to change but never does if so you have successfully Spotted an idiot.

I could go on and on all day about how to Spot an idiot
But I don’t got that kind of time as I have a life.
And I don’t feel bad for an idiot being an idiot is a choice. Nobody has to drink alcohol they do it because the idiot wants to and likes being an idiot.

[PetiteBabe64]

You can’t Fix An idiot so no Point on trying. Just take The alcohol Anonymous group for example. Every one of them Decided That drinking alcohol is what they wanna do and they went out And drank the alcohol bought the alcohol or accepted alcohol from someone.
You can’t Drink an idiot drink and not be an idiot.
Drinking alcohol is the definition of being an idiot.
Smoking cigarettes 🚬 is the definition of being an idiot. Friend of mine Has cancer because he decided to be an idiot and start smoking 🚬 and never Quit. So now my friend the idiot is going die because he was being an idiot smoking an idiot Drug called cigarette 🚬

[Asker]

It's not even a choice to feel that way just like it's not a choice to like your boyfriend (if you have one) Mental illness is an epidemic and it's not only exclusive for people who drinks but a lot are growing up with unsupportive parents. Hardships aren't also only limited to because someone is drinking or doing drugs or anything like that, it's more to that and if you're not an idiot, you should know that.

[PetiteBabe64]

I tried to help My Idiot friend get off the cigarettes I even offered to Pay for a everything he needed like Medicine and vitamins everything he needed to Quit. but he figured He wouldn’t get cancer because he’s attends church and owns a Bible. He said No no I won’t get cancer he Tried to Quit by himself but because he’s an idiot he couldn’t stay clean and now he’s got cancer and will die an idiot.
He was an idiot when he was alive and he will die an idiot.

[Asker]

If you feel happy over something, it's not something you can control but it's your actions. That's another example.

[PetiteBabe64]

He decided to smoke cigarettes that was his choice

[Asker]

Then you're not forced to help your idiotic friend who don't wanna be helped. Why are you projecting your problem to someone you don't even know?

[PetiteBabe64]

Nobody forced him to do it.
He woke up one day and Decided to get in his car and show his ID to purchase the Cigarettes.

[PetiteBabe64]

You Wanted my help so I helped

[Asker]

I'm not asking for your help. I'm asking if it's weird. I'm not asking if it's idiotic. But if you say so then feelings are idiotic and no one should have them.

[Asker]

The fact that you're still projecting your issue to me, someone you don't know just kinda tells that you might be the idiot here because I've never done things like what you just did.

[PetiteBabe64]

I’m Rich and still live with my dad. I work with my dad he gives me A Check and I also have My own place that dad pays for.
Im no idiot I got the perfect life.

[Asker]

Ok then it's not necessary to call someone an idiot just because you think they did something you did

[PetiteBabe64]

Put that in Logical terms and I will understand.

[Asker]

As if it matters because it matters because you just seem to not understand anything anyways. I mean you contradicted yourself by saying your life is perfect and moments ago, you're complaining about how stupid you are for helping your addicted friend who don't wanna be helped. So can't you make up your mind?

[PetiteBabe64]

That was Ages ago I Tried to help him. I’ve changed since then. But believe what you want don’t care 🤷‍♂️ Have a nice beautiful 😍 day ❤️ bye Sweetie

[Asker]

It doesn't matter if that was ages ago. You still think i did something stupid like what you did. Making assumptions is what makes anyone idiotic

[PetiteBabe64]

Ok baby 😍

[Asker]

Ok moron

[PetiteBabe64]

😘😘😍

[PetiteBabe64]

❤️❤️

[Asker]

I didn't know you losing an argument can turn you on.

[PetiteBabe64]

Okay

[jennifer_bloom]

It’s just a matter of time before you go to jail for spreading lies about me all day long.

[Asker]

You may have mistaken my question to someone else's question.

[IMuser]

Nah, it's common. Just accept it and maximize your own potential. Maybe use your privilege to help someone in need.

[Msputiton]

Do not feel bad for being blessed with a good life.

Be thankful for it

[Anonymous]

I actually have the opposite problem and have to remind myself of that fact when I get stressed over little things.

[AsaKyo]

Just consider yourself lucky and fortunate
Don't feel bad

[Pot8o]

You're young, that's pretty normal