Why is my ex-friend going round tell everyone I cut her off because I'm jealous of her?

[Anonymous]

Am I bad for cutting my friend off without explanation?

Hi everyone, I posted an original question a few months ago about cutting off my ex-friend and her boyfriend. Basically I blocked them both on social media because they were both incredibly toxic to me.

"I cut my friend off recently and blocked her on everything. Because she was sneaky, was jealous throughout the friendship and backstabbed me in the worst ways possible. She tried to sabotage my other relationships and cause trouble etc. She also slept with my boyfriend a year ago. It was bad. She knows what she did to me.

I feel bad because I didn't talk to her before "ending" the friendship, but I felt that she would twist my words around to others and manipulate me if I did talk to her about ending it. Is this a bad thing I did? I blocked her and her boyfriend randomly without warning. Have I been an asshole by doing this?"

I've now heard through mutual friends that they are both going round everyone saying I am "jealous of them" (haha) and that's why I ended the friendship and blocked them. How do I react? Do I even react? I find it so weird because she was the one who told me she was envious and sabotaged my relationships during the friendship. Should I ignore them spreading rumours?

[DoctorSex]

The less you react the more effective you'll be.

Be like a cat 🐱, unbothered by the accusations launched against you.

By the sounds of your previous post, it's clear to me that your friend needed you as a ego crutch. It sounds like she has very low self esteem. You came across as nom threatening and she used your friendship as a crutch to uphold her self esteem. Now that you're no longer available to do so, she's still going to use the image of you in her mind to prop up her self esteem. Essential it's not even about you anymore. Eventually she'll drop that image of you as soon as she finds another physical crutch to rely on.

It's time for you to cultivate yourself my dear, I don't mean to be rude and I certainly mean you no harm when I say this, but the fact that someone like this was able to worm their way into your life, and even worse, sleep with your boyfriend.

It sounds to me that more work needs to be done on cultivating your own personal boundaries.

Strong walls are built around valuable kingdoms. What's valuable about the kingdom that's within you? If you don't know, best to start here.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex