I have been going to a group at my school where I met this person who is also a leader at the group. After the first meeting from the group, I asked him if they want to hangout and talk, to get to know each other. We have been meeting one to one for a while now. Most the time, I have been explaining to him how I felt like I don't be long to the group. I remember once I jokingly said that if I leave, it'll just be two guys (the 3 guys including me from the guys group merged with the girls). He was silent when I said that, but the next day we met up and he told me that he would be sad if I leave, and he would be extra sad if I disappear. I believed that he is a real friend, so did 2 of my other friends who only met him once. In our last meeting, I switched topic a little bit. I told him that what he said to me that other day sounds like a real friend, but I am not seeing how he has been a real friend in action. He told me he felt manipulated. If we ever schedule a meet up, it has always been me asking him, he never asked me a day & time to meetup, and we only meet once a month. Those are the reasons I dont feel like he is a real friend, because it looks like there is a distance & silence in between our friendship. He has also told me "don't be shy" and I asked him not to tell me that and he went on and said that if I say that, we are not going to meetup anymore. I find that very offensive & rude, but I didn't say anything, I didn't know what to say. I think a real friend will be ok if you are shy and are not open to people you don't know too well. I concluded the meeting by telling him that he is appreciated and that I am more than happy to continue being friends, just so I don't say the wrong thing. I am not saying he is not a real friend nor am I saying I am leaving him. I just wanted to process all this, because I felt manipulated by him too. If he wants to leave me, I'll let him go.
Is this person pretending to be friends?
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