Is it weird that I'm not getting any quality matches on a dating app?

[Anonymous]

It makes me wonder if there's something wrong with my profile.

I just joined it as a joke, won't really meet someone for lunch unless I truly like them.

[JamesDiaz11]

This reminds me of the social experiment where they put 20 people in a room, each person has a number on their forehead (from 1-20) that they don't know, and they have an hour to find the highest numbered person of the opposite sex who will agree to pair up with them. Pretty quickly the high numbered people, even though they don't know what number they are will discern they have a high number via the attention they get. At the same time the low numbered people figure out their status quickly as well.

Girls get far far more attention than guys do on dating apps. The matches an average girl will get will be far more and of higher quality than an average guy will get (he may get zero matches). Also guys aren't very picky when it comes to the quality of someone's profile- if you're attractive then you're good, regardless if they're all bathroom selfies.

Have you considered that you're not that attractive, and/ or your standards at too high? Realistically I'd say that the men women typically match with on dating apps will be a level above them (after all 80% of women are vying for the top 20% of men), which is why the girl friends I've had will complain of matching with really hot guys but the guys not responding to them.

One friend of mine simply couldn't wrap her head around the idea that she wasn't that attractive (she had an amazing body, but her face was probably below average- not ugly, but not very cute). She kept vying for these 10/10 guys who wouldn't give her the time of day, and I just suggested she be more modest with her expectations- she didn't need to go for the ugly/ fat guys, but unless she was looking to be some hot guys cum dump after 1am she wasn't gonna lock down a guy like that. Ofc she blocked me.

[DaveJord]

Nah... it's not weird at all. there are a lot of losers on dating apps. Some are there for the right reasons, but it's incredibly hard to weed through all the weeds to find them.

Sure, your profile matters, there smart ways to write one without attracting the wrong sorts and narrowing the field, but I mean it's a serious art form and you literally have to thread that needle perfectly to have any success.

So, I read once, that for men online dating is a numbers game... even if you have the best profile and pics with write up ever... you might only get 1 reply forever 10 messages you send, then only 1 out of every 10 messages you receive response to will result in a real life 1st date... and then maybe 3 out 10 of the real life first dates will result in 2nd date. And 99% of all relationships started online will end in failure.

I have been online for almost 1.5 years, I messaged 100's of women, been on 20 first dates, 8 x 2nd dates and only been in 2 relationships. 4 month and 8 month and am just recently into my 3rd relationship and I think this one could be really special.

So, by most measure and standards I have been extremely successful, but it does not feel that way. Sure, I got dates, but very few were good ones. And the relationships I had were more like flings then anything real.

When I started out, I was supper selective and really only tried to message women I thought I could be seriously interested in... and honestly got nowhere. Then I started the mass messaging campaign and started getting results... but honestly, it's a crap shoot... you got to get lucky and hope you meet the right women then not screw it up.

[jennifer_bloom]

On a dating app - you sell your good qualities and not your bad or weaker ones. If a guy says he is deaf, girls might reject him. But if he says he has a phd and then says he is deaf, all of a sudden, his flaws do not affect his approval rating. Everybody has good qualities, find something about you that people will like and then sell it.

[Labokachulaa]

Well maybe they know that you've joined it as a joke. Sometimes men are able to read us. Usually women get a lot of matches on dating apps, good and bad ones.

But also, a majority of the time they're just looking for casual sex. So, it could be something that you've written on your profile.

[savagewolf22]

You look gorgeous ma'am 😊

[Labokachulaa]

Thank you 😊

[Haha456]

As an online dating veteran for the past 6 years , I would not advise you to go online to find love. The internet is filled with perverts, scumbags, society's rejects, or guys who can't get anyone in real life so they have to resort to going online. There are very few quality men over the internet. Much of your chances of finding love online boils down to nothing else but pure luck. Your chances of finding someone quality in real life is way higher

[Luopio27]

Same can be said about girls.

[BJP21]

High Five on that. Online dating for me has been nothing but scammers and spammers. I have better chances at a super sketch dive bar than online.

[Haha456]

@BJP21

even if they aren't bots , spammers or scammers, i would not advise you on dating women over the internet.

After all my years of experience, its usually introverts or people with issues who can't get anyone in real life will resort to going over the internet for a date. Not saying finding someone in real life will be guaranteed to be high quality but your chances of finding someone decent is much higher in real life.

[BJP21]

Very true, I have experienced that as well which is why I gave up any online date platform.

[faeriiedust]

So true. All the guys I've talked to online in the past, seemed to have some sort of issues. One of them was a player, who was only interested in hookups, another one had issues with narcissism, another one depression and some other guy was a pedo, who had been lying about his age to prey on much younger girls. Even if you do meet someone "seemingly normal", chances are they won't be interested in a relationship; just chatting. Online dating is a joke and a waste of time in my opinion. In real life you can find much more quality people

[Asker]

Hmm but I would argue what if online dating is also a way for people to escape their real life?

For example let's say someone is very career-focused and never had time to meet girls and the girls he did meet were shallow.

What if online dating is a way for him to meet people?

[Haha456]

@Asker

[For example let's say someone is very career-focused and never had time to meet girls and the girls he did meet were shallow.]

These guys do exist but they don't make up the majority of users on apps. So far over the years, I've only met 1 guy using the app because he was too busy to date.

I have met up with guys who literally couldn't hold a conversation. Another guy with a very disrespectful, fucked up sense of humor. He actually told me that he went out with 6 girls and he could never get further than the first date with them.

Then another one who mansplained to me the entire time and was super egotistical and rude.
There was another guy who couldn't text- literally when he sent me a text. I wasn't able to understand anything at all. It looked like a jumble of letters that didn't make any sense. He wasn't drunk either.

[Haha456]

@Asker

On the other hand, I've also met less than a handful of sane, respectful guys. But only 2-3 over the course of 6 years.

[CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS]

“Your chances of finding someone of quality is better in real life.” But people from real life use dating apps too….

[Haha456]

@CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS

only people who can't get anyone in real life resort to dating apps.

[Haha456]

@CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS

society's rejects, people with mental issues, personality problems, fucked up sense of humor.

these types would find it very difficult to get anyone in real life.

[CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS]

Even if that’s true, these people are still likely to go out and have interactions with people so you still have that chance of meeting someone in real life that is on a dating app.

[Haha456]

@CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS

why would you need to resort to a dating app if you were successful in finding someone in real life?

[CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS]

@Haha456 unlimited reasons. What if I am new to the area and don’t know anybody? What if I’m introverted and don’t go out much? What if I am shy and would prefer this way instead?

[Haha456]

@CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS

but im here to tell that those typically aren't the most common reasons people go on dating apps

[CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS]

Out of how many guys though? How many did you date over 6 years?

[Haha456]

@CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS

i've met around 30 guys. so many that i lost count.

[Haha456]

@CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS

if you take into consideration the number of guys that i messaged / texted (get to know them) but never met up with them, it'll be a total of 65-70

[CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS]

I don’t understand why you’ve had such bad luck. Where are you from?

[BJP21]

@CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS California.

[Haha456]

@CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS

New York City. Dating here is atrocious. Everyone sleeps around. Nobody wants marriage or a family. Everything is about money, looks, status, work.

A lot of crazies out here too.

Even off the internet, NYC dating sucks.

[CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS]

NYC is rated one of worst places of people in the USA. Rudest too. I’d go somewhere else to find love. Like where I’m from in Texas. There’s a lot of cool people here.

[Haha456]

@CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS

I've never had a hard time finding a guy to fall for me. But its the fact that social skills are on the decline , its very difficult to find a guy who is humorous and witty. Thats the only reason why I'm still single. If I didn't have these standards, I would have been married long ago.

[Haha456]

@CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS

I know that New Yorkers are rude. People from kansas also say the same thing. Many of us act like sociopaths. One big reason is the culture. Secondly, life living here is extremely hard. Rent is high, cost of food is high, way too many overly ambitious stressed workers trying to make big money. The frustration of lines everywhere at the coffee shop, staples, train stations, waiting for trains busses. Taxes are like robbery.

Living here is no fun which explains why most the natives have moved out. People come here to work then leave once they find gold. Its a miserable place to live.

[Lionman95]

No because if you "joined as a joke" it probably is visible in your dating profile as you maybe just filled out the necessary part but it doesn´t seem like you take it seriously.

Option B: You just got guys that don´t take it seriously while you make it look like you.

All in all I would say it´s not unusual because many people have problems finding quality partners on dating apps.

[Looksnicholas]

I never really got any luck from it, in all the years I ever used them, and most of the time it was just spam, liars or weirdos. Lol. Or women I wasn't interested in.

[AviatorTom]

You joined as a joke and your profile most likely reveals that. Many people on a dating app are looking to date someone real, and are pretty good at detecting someone like you who is not.

[spartan55]

"just joined as a joke"... what's the joke? To fake interest in guys for attention?

[sheikalana]

I think it's quite common. It takes some time to find a decent match.

[TopTier]

Pretty odd. I joined as a joke, with a female profile, and got like 50 matches in an hour. With a single picture. Just make sure your picture is clear and objectively looks good.

[Paul09]

How do you know if you like someone you do not know? But yeah, dating apps are horrible. Unless you are lucky or a female.

[Alex8736]

try reading other people's profiles and see where you can add things to better stand out but if it is only a joke why even create a profile

[MountAverage]

There's generally not many quality people on there.

[RobEdelman]

Dating apps don’t usually lead to great relationships

[Anonymous]

No one intrested in online relationship...
We chase sex.

[harrison102]

So you not getting any like? Are you swiping right also?

[kareka]

Maybe your profile isn't good 😶
Girls gets a lot in this apps

[Asker]

Isn't good as in?

[Asker]

Would it be okay if I messaged you?

[kareka]

Sure

[kareka]

You need to follow me 1st

[Asker]

Okay followed.

[Anonymous]

Women idea of quality matches is not finding a guy whose rich, tall and above average in looks. Meanwhile she herself is average.

[Anonymous]

What did you expect would happen when you joined online dating as a Joke?

[Summeroflove]

Because online dating sucks

[BlueScorpio]

What do you have in your profile?

[coachTanthony]

Profile sucks or your standards are too high.

[Avicenna]

No, that’s totally normal