My bullies gone but im always ruminating any advice?

[Gurupuru]

For a while i was unwell and some people took advantage off me. Finally i got better and stood up to them and got them out my life. They end up leaving city also.

Yet here long time after i still sit and anger about them. It makes sense but its better i move on. can't change the past and its over but i can't stop thinking about it.

any advice?

[Mia-Wallace]

Are you alone?

Do you have a good social life? Friends?

What about love life?

Having those are the only real way to stop ruminating. You can make yourself busy with work and studies too, but those won't help you in the long run.

[Gurupuru]

Ah good point no this is issue. Before i got unwell i was at uni and popular and great social life.

Since uni its been hard. I never go out or socialise in nightlife scene. Lost uni friends and other friends have kids houses etc now so dont go out. I do play some sports etc but i dont have that real social life i had before like at uni.

Plus i feel because im older its harder to meet people to go out with. And if i do go out 30s single its awkward to. On top of that though im looking better than when i was unwell i looked hideous (was health issue) so spent a while avoiding people. I look better but not as good as i did when young so also not confident going out which is what i want to do. I feel so many young good looking people when out makes me not comfortable.

Of course many people my age are settled. I dont have interest in children nor even partner so wanting to go out but then no friends plus feel hideous haha.

awkward times

So often spend nights and weekends alone which makes me get mad i feel helpless. As its impossible to get social life on one hand and time is passing me by.

[Mia-Wallace]

Well it is clear why you have so much time ruminating. I wish there was a magical way to make the suffering go away, but there is none. You simply have to try and create a new community for yourself so you can stop ruminating. You're suffering in silence. The only antidote to the voices inside your head are the voices of your friends and of your love.

[Mynameisbobby]

I did this for years until I learned how to face what my bullies did and moved on. What really helped me was helping others that were being bullied helping them through the bullying emotionally.

[Guy13]

See a counselor and resolve this.