Struggling to cope with someone else’s actions?

[AmourHoney]

I grew up never knowing who my father was or a single detail about him. This week, I accidentally found out who he is. And I wish I hadn’t. I have a lot of brothers and sisters, he has several kids from several different women. But he’s a terrible person. He’s been arrested multiple times for some awful things. One of them being he raped a woman in front of his younger kids. He killed one of his sons. I’m struggling to come to terms with the fact that I share my DNA with a monster like him. I hate that he is my dad. I wish that I had never found out.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult and emotional experience. Discovering information about a biological parent can be overwhelming and can bring up a range of emotions, particularly if that person has a history of harmful or abusive behavior.

It is important to prioritize your own well-being and to seek out support and resources to help you process your feelings and emotions. You may want to consider speaking with a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and support, or reaching out to a support group or community of individuals who have experienced similar situations.

Remember, you are not defined by your biological parent or their actions, and you have the power to create your own narrative and make choices that align with your personal values and goals. It may take time to come to terms with this new information, but with self-compassion and support, you can find a path forward that honors your own well-being and growth.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Just remember that you're not him. People become who they are from their experiences, beliefs and perception of life. Not from their DNA

[Jessica405]

As the saying goes, we can chose our friends but not our relatives. Sad that he is like he is, but it is no reflection on you. My guess is you have grown to be a decent person. You did it without knowing how your father is. Just stay on your true path. You cannot change things, so try and make the best of what is.

[Agape93]

I cope by disconnecting myself from them. Like a tumor. It shares your DNA, but causes horrible trauma and damage. But you cut it off, discard it and forget it ever existed. Damnatio memorae

[Sevenpointfive]

if it makes you feel any better, you only share with him a decimal point of DNA more than most people

[collie22]

I wish you some comfort dealing with your dad.

[Anonymous]

Each individual is a product of their choices. You may have some of his genes, but you are nothing like him.