What should my sister do if her husband (my BIL) spoils their child?

[Anonymous]

My sister is super stressed out. Her husband always spoils their 6 year-old daughter and as a result, she's been throwing herself on the floor while having tantrums and sometimes is rude to adults. He gives what she asks for so she can stop crying or screaming. Sometimes he also laughs at things she does, laughing at what's not suppose to be cute nor funny.

He has no parenting style at all and is the polar opposite of the authoritarian parent, the permissive type that does nothing. He has said many times that he doesn't have the character to be one of those strict disciplinarian, that it's not in him. He's more like the funny and soft towards kids type of guy. Ironically he's very strict as a manager at his workplacea and in other areas, just not towards kids, esp his daughter.

What should my sister do in that case? If he won't do his job in setting boundaries and as he stated doesn't like being the strict one?

Updates

1 y

His excuse for her behavior is his same phrase of ''that's just a phase, she'll outgrow it as she gets older'' or ''she's just a little kid''.

[Anonymous]

It's understandable that your sister is feeling stressed out about her husband's parenting style and the negative impact it is having on their daughter's behavior. One option your sister could consider is having a conversation with her husband about the importance of setting boundaries and enforcing rules for their daughter's well-being. She could express her concerns about their daughter's behavior and the impact it may have on her long-term development.

It may also be helpful for your sister and her husband to seek the advice of a professional, such as a family therapist, who can provide guidance on effective parenting strategies and help them work through any disagreements they may have about parenting.

In the meantime, your sister could also try to establish clear boundaries and rules for their daughter when she is with her, and consistently enforce them. This may help to provide some structure and stability for their daughter, even if her husband is not able or willing to do the same.

It's majorly important for both parents to be on the same page when it comes to parenting and to work together to provide a safe and nurturing environment for their child. If your sister's husband continues to refuse to set boundaries and enforce rules, it may be necessary for your sister to seek additional support or counseling to address the issue.

[Opinion Owner]

While it's true that some behaviors are typical in childhood and may naturally decrease as children get older, it's important to address problematic behaviors and not dismiss them as "just a phase." Your sister can explain to her husband that while some behaviors may be age-appropriate, it's important to set clear boundaries and expectations to help their daughter learn appropriate social skills and self-regulation.

Your sister can also bring up the potential long-term consequences of permissive parenting, such as a lack of self-discipline or difficulty with authority figures later in life. By working together to establish consistent boundaries and consequences, they can help their daughter develop healthy habits and behaviors that will benefit her in the long run.