I wanted to try this and I'm generally curious
Probably going to get downvoted, but I don't care; the asker did ask-
Absolutely! When done properly and it's not overused or done in a malicious manner. Basically if other methods of warning a child to behavior or do something fails, a little paddling or whooping is fine.
I was spanked as a kid: BUT only when I did something really wrong or pushed my mom past her limits. Hell, I had to go pick my own switch several times- and don't let it be too small or thin, she'd make me go pick another one until I got it right :|
And I got my licks- did it hurt? Absolutely. Did I learn my lesson? Absolutely!
And I think my parents for it: I grew up to a respectful, mature adult. No resentful towards them, and guess what? When they told me something? I did it, or didn't do it depending on the circumstances- because I learned my lesson.
Then you look at these kids nowadays that talk back to their parents, hit teachers, bus drivers because they know there's no repercussions for their actions... you didn't hear about that crap when I was a kid. If we looked at an adult wrong, we got smacked!
As I said, unpopular opinion, but some kids need a swift spanking or paddling. It might fix a lot of their attitudes and behaviors if there were consequences to their actions other being grounded or losing a video game...
Save the paddle and whip for lazy or unfocused husbands! Amazing what true merciless physical discipline will do for a relationship
What I remember in growing up is my dad had a paddle or if he didn't have time to get to the power he had a belt and we were disciplined but we were also grounded we were not allowed to do certain things that we would normally want to do back then TV was luxury so us not being allowed to watch TV or a show that we might have liked to watch was hurtful. The kids nowadays they get away with everything they're not allowed to spank in school anymore where we got spanked with a powder in school the first time you hit a kid in your home they're turning and saying I'm going to turn you over to the police I don't know where that's that all changed that we couldn't discipline our child without it being a costly event that the police or any other authority had to get involved discipline is discipline and if there was more discipline out there right now some of these shootings in these schools won't be happening. When I grew up guys that hunted hung their guns in the back of their trucks at school and when they fought they fought with her hands now we have kids going into schools because they're upset because somebody teased them and they're shooting up the whole school this one was taken away and should never been taken away.
If a parent can't control a child and the only way they can is to resort to violence, that parent shouldn't be a parent. I spent a good amount of time in the foster system with other people who would go back to live with their parents only to go back to more abuse.
The people I was in foster care with weren't bad people at all. They would run away from home and become rebellious because they WERE getting beaten at home. If you cause harm to another person, you go to jail for assault. Beating a child should be no different.
I have scars on my body from where my parents struck me with objects. I have nightmares all the time now and I trust no one. I have trouble asking for help and it's because I was punished for needing my needs met as a child.
I can remember my parents folding their lips and squinting their eyes like they wanted to kill me while they were abusing me, like they were taking out anger on me. One time I passed out during. Now I have all this anger pent up inside. I'll probably explode one day.
I don't understand how parents can hurt their children. I could never make a child cry like that. That's just my opinion.
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From around 3 years old to 10 years old when I would get in trouble I would get beat with a belt when I turn 10 years old and I was told to go to my room and he was my stepdad with walking in and he started hitting me with a belt he would have me by one arm as he's hitting me with a belt and I would be going in a circle trying to get away and I would cry and the very last time that he tried doing this I stood there I had tears running down my face and I told him I wasn't going to cry no more he wasn't ever going to hurt me again about 2 weeks later my parents got divorced but I swore up and down that I would never allow anybody to hit me that way ever again in my life when I had children I swore up and down that I would never touch them you teach children you don't need to discipline you don't need to hit you give them more responsibility but I never once yelled at my kids I never once hit my kids and I will tell you what they are a beautiful people in the society because I communicated when you hit a child all you're doing is telling that child when they want something the best way to get it is to hit them to hit somebody you don't need to touch a child you don't need to yell at a child you teach them with words nothing else well more responsibility I take that back more responsibility it makes a difference look at all the shooters out there the kids that are shooters just imagine how they are treated each and every day at home their parents always yelling at them belittling them putting them down hitting them making them feel like shit forget that be the best friend to your child teach them right from wrong with your words in a very short sentence
I was spanked maybe twice a year (with the hand or belt as well as the occasional smack to the back of the head, ear thump/pull, and arm pinch) and that was enough to keep me obedient... or at least smart enough not to get caught acting up. I don’t intend to spank my kids. But there will be the occasional smack on the back of the head if they do something stupid
Sometimes all the talk in the world will not get a kid to behave. They know how to manipulate you. Sometimes a swat would help. The reason things are full of crime is because no one gave these kids tough love or set limits for their behavior. No one told them "no" or punished them with more than a "Now behave kids and I'll give you a treat." When corporal punishment and religion was removed from schools is when the shit hit the fan. Now we have kids back talking teachers and assaulting them - as sell as shooting up schools. We have so many angry kids who were coddled and babied. It's ridiculous!
Physical pain and discomfort broadly is effective at mentally conditioning someone to not repeat a behavior, in part because both pain and memory are handled by the same part of the brain. This is a major reason why the military will punish failure or lesser forms of insubordination with physical exhaustion (since beatings are not allowed) even in grown men, at least when the offense isn't bad enough to warrant legal action.
So yes, it's effective when used appropriately and not excessively. It is absolutely critical that a kid understands exactly why a punishment is given to them, and what the correct course of action is and looks like. If whatever they're doing is merely emulating the parent, then the problem lies elsewhere...
I think it can be effective as long as it's not being done with excessive force AND the reason for the punishment is being communicated.
My dad never did it. My mom on the other hand would slap the hell out of me. If I talked back, smack to the mouth. If I misbehaved in public, smack to the back of the head. If I severely disrespected someone, full on slap.
Do I agree with her method? 🤔 I actually have to say yes. She never slapped me so hard that it left bruises anywhere. She always communicated why she did it. Our relationship never strained as she's effectively my closest friend now.
I don't hit anyone or any furry pets. I use my voice and how I look into my kids eyes... not intimating but a disappointment look that says it hurts me to know you know what's right and wrong bc I taught you and keep teaching you from right and wrong.
But hitting a child is wrong bc I am teaching my child to become aggressive towards his/her peers or create fear of me or anyone else that they may think they'll get punish by physical. Some parents do spank their kids but not hard that leaves a mark on their bums, just enough to let their child know it's enough whatever they are getting in trouble for... and I don't see anything wrong with that, but I personally wouldn't use any physical on my kids, its personal for me.
Hitting forces compliance not understanding. It all depends on the sort of person you want them to become: one who responds to threats or one who responds to reason. Of course, reason isn't guaranteed, either, as you may spend hours explaining why they have to clean their room or whatever, and I'd imagine people just don't have time for that. The real choice can start to seem like it's between hitting them until they do as they are told or just letting it go and let them get away with doing whatever they want. I can say the last two are about equal in long term damage, if what they want is screens. But that doesn't magically produce more time for parenting. This is why we need a 20 hour work week, in my opinion..
Pets aren't' capable of higher order cognitive association between acts and consequences in a meaningful enough way.
A roughly 10y. o. pulled a gun on my in Iraq. Racked it and started lowering it on me. I punched him in the face as hard as I could. Fortunately for him it was a crappy behind and below me angle. Turns out it was a toy gun, but looked pretty real when he was sliding the action back. Anyway, his dad came out and beat his ass something fierce.
Bet that kid never points a gun at somebody he ought not again.
Your descriptive terminology of corporal punishment as hitting is concerning. Oe has to have an understanding of the intent behind the action. Hitting is suggestive of a malevolent motive as causing injury. Spanking implies an action taken to correct a behavior that will be disadvantageous in the future. My father never hit me but Ii did receive a few spankings in my life which were followed by apologies which were worse than the spankings. On other side of the coin I never did anything to publicly humiliate my parents. My kids did and I warned them that public humiliation begets public humiliation. Please don't do it again.
"The reason for the update is why do we scold our pets but hit children?"
Because children are not dogs. Dogs can be trained not to do something in more effective ways. Sometimes children cannot. It is a fast and effective way to correct their behavior and demonstrate the importance of it. Of course you should NEVER do any physical harm to your child, so you must do it very carefully. The idea isn't to hurt them it is to help them learn something important through physical stimulation. A child's mind can be more responsive to this than to logic as their brains are still maturing.
There difference between (HIT AS PUNISHMENT) and (PHYSICAL ABUSE) but we have retarded people everywhere now days whom will report you to authorities if they see you hit your own 10 year old kid for smoking/stealing/drinking alcohol/swearing att people/bad behavior and so on but it's AAAALLLLLL FINE to raise kids to be lazy and being ''politically correct'' than never done a single wild thing in their lives and got spoiled until they are 30 and go out to the real world ands call all other people for monsters 🤷♂️. I had a fair share of ass whooping from my parents and most of it was because i did bad things. I am fine and last time i did hit someone it was 19 years ago.
Do you know what it did to me?
I got chronically sick enough to need multiple hospitalizations for several medical conditions I got, that I paid out of my own pocket (which I would rather spend on traveling the world) and I did not tell my parents about it. On top of that I am on antidepressants.
Needless to say I cut my parents off. I don't talk to them. I moved out and I am not telling them where I am.
There's a low chance a kid will do the same as I did but when it happens, it will prove the performance of parenting skills (or rather lack thereof).
Yes. Parents should spank their kids if warranted as a form of discipline. Never abuse.
Spanking should stop around age 7 if the child is properly home trained.
Proverbs 23:13-14
Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.
You shall beat him with a rod, And deliver his soul from hell.
Proverbs 13:24
He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.
Proverbs 29:15
The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
Proverbs 22:15
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.
Proverbs 19:18
Chasten your son while there is hope, And do not set your heart on his destruction.
Proverbs 29:17
Correct your son, and he will give you rest; Yes, he will give delight to your soul.
Hitting should be their if the mistake is severe according to you.
I would hit my child if he was doing my other chd with a knife.
I would yell at him when he picks up knife for poking at other child.
I would tell him to not poke other children with a knife.
I would ask him to not touch knife without my knowledge.
I would hide knives always from him. (So he comes to me when he needs one. )
I would cut his fruits before giving to him (so he doesn't need a knife at all.)
Think about all the scenario and think if I was a good parent if I hit my child.
I don't know if I am but I hit my children some times. (I even hit other children or sometimes adults for the same reason too. I hitted my father too when he was beating the shit out of my mom without a reason. (Yes I grew up in a wild family. But I guess I have good reasoning skills for hitting people. ))
No!
No one can make me believe that hitting a child can be effective.
Every time I’ve been a gentle and positive to child, they understood me.
The key is to make a child WANT what you want them to do.
I can’t imagine myself ever mistreating a vulnerable child. There are so many other ways to teach… Why should you use the worst way?
No. I was spanked a lot and I don’t remember any of the reasons for it, so lessons not learned. And it could easily permanently deeply hurt your relationship with your kid. As they say, you can’t un-hit someone.
Also it turned me into an obedient pussy which gave me issues all through my life, especially with the opposite sex. And then that leads to darker things, then the darkest things…
I still like obeying the law/authority. Find other ways to discipline them. I don’t believe in no-discipline either.
The answer to this question is... it's none of your damn business. Only a child's parents know the child well enough to decide whether spanking is effective and warranted.
As some parents know all too well, some children, during certain phases, just don't listen or respond to anything but a swat on the butt. It's the only way to get their attention and demonstrate to their young minds that there are rules the must be followed, and consequences if they aren't.
Not every kid needs to be spanked, but some do and for those it is very effective. Only the parents of those kids can decide how best to parent them, and no one else has any say in the matter.
There are some children that benefit from a smack on the butt occasionally when nothing else gets their attention. I was one of those kids, and I am better because of it. I don't have kids, but if/when I do, if they are like I was as a kid, I will definitely give them a smack on the butt when nothing else works.
I will also say this, parents know best what is right for their individual children, and other do-gooders who think they know better need to STFU and mind their own fucking business.
No, not at all. It only has the effect of making them resentful and even more rebellious, and I say this as someone who was "disciplined" (what a joke!) this way. It's abuse, pure and simple, and if you think it isn't, then answer this question for me: would YOU tolerate someone hitting you across the face, or whacking you with a belt?
i got hit so the pain pushed to revenge... they strong? so i damaged property windows mattresses dishes what did i have to lose? once they hit me. so not like horse beat to submit. and bible book proverbs only a "proverb" for something else not literal hit.
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