Why is my sister being so cold and distant toward me?

[Karleekarl]

I was in a on and off again abusive relationship with a narcissistic guy. It was very dangerous and scary but he had some traumatic hold on me. Anyways, long story short , I have left him for good but for three years I often would worry my parents because I would leave and be gone with him for weeks and months and not contact them so, naturally, they often worried. I stay with my parents and my younger sister so I suppose my sister saw their worry as them focusing all their attention on me. She said she felt like they gave all their energy to me and she was left with scraps as if she were an orphan. She felt that no one had ever asked how she was doing (Which isn’t true) and that she’s been hurting for a while etc etc. She even started going to therapy, something I still haven’t even done. She says she always had to dim her light and sacrifice her happiness because of me and my choice to continue going back to an abuser but that confuses me because she wasn’t even the one dealing with the abuse. While I was in the abusive relationship, she was traveling and managed to get her college degree and my parents financed her books for school. She even fixed herself and got braces. I have even written a few papers for her for a few of her classes yet she claims all attention was on me. I’m the failure, I don’t have a degree, I dropped out of college and I ended up with an abusive man. Yet she claims, she’s the one who has had to dim her light when she’s the one that’s been shining. Now our relationship is distant and cold.

[nolookingbackx]

I went through a very hard on and off relationship with a narcissist as well. People who weren't in such situations often don't understand it and blame us as if it was our fault as we stayed. Listen, you are not a failure by any means! You're a very strong woman and a hero who survived abuse and managed to get out of it on your own. I think your sister is being quite toxic and unfair towards you. Let her deal with this and focus on healing. You are the most important, let yourself be a little bit selfish in a healthy way.