Is it reasonable to ask your housemate to have their family give prior notice when they plan on visiting?

[Anonymous]

I pay half of the rent and bills, but me and a member of their family don't get along at all. We kind of hate each other and have gotten into arguments. My housemate knows this; they know we hate each other, so I was thinking of asking my housemate if we can have a rule where their family is not allowed to just show up whenever they want and that they have to give prior notification they intend on visiting before coming so that I can leave to prevent any further arguments from happening.

Is it okay for me to request this? No one I know ever shows up without prior notification, and I wouldn't allow it because I think it is rude to do this, but my housemate has family who show up whenever they want without calling or asking if they can come.

Updates

6 mo

Housemate family have come here even when the housemate has not been home, because they often don't even contact the housemate to ask if they are home, they just show up. There has also been times when housemate family have come here and gone through my things.

I am aware I cannot enforce the rule. Was just wanting advice if it was reasonable for me to ask the housemate if they can make sure their family has to call or text him first before just showing up

[Dinklex3]

You can request it, but it doesn’t mean they have to abide by it.

You can’t prevent their family from going to their house to see if they’re there or not. Although you may think it’s rude, others do not. That’s what happens when you live with someone else.

I do get it though and it would be polite if your roommate informs you. There are plenty of times when I was caught with no pants when my roommate had company over.

[Asker]

I'm not trying to stop them from coming. My request is simply to ask if they can ask their family if they can call or text first before coming, because they show up even when my housemate has not been home. They come uninvited

[Asker]

Their family has even gone through my things and this has been a contributing factor for the arguments.

[MrKinktastic]

You can request it but you don’t have a way to enforce it since you can’t bar them from having guests in their own home/the common spaces unless they agree.


So I would try to do it diplomatically, at the end of the day the Roomate situation may or may not work out.

[Asker]

I am aware I can't enforce it however these guys are showing up without first calling or texting and even when the housemate isn't hone they will show up thinking the housemate is here and there have been times when their family has gone through my things which has contributed to the arguments

[Asker]

I didn't know if it would be okay for me to ask so I thought I would get some advice

[MrKinktastic]

Yeah I would definitely ask, hopefully they can lay some boundaries down with their fam