Do you think hearing adults swear affects children in a negative way?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

We had a very big family growing up, at some point there were 10 of us.

I remember I was mostly cherished and respected by adults in my family,

however, there were instances, when it was forgotten I was there too and when I was studying, I heard swearing in the most horrible ways, extremely gross and disgusting vocabulary.

I remember I felt very uncomfortable, as I didn’t understand how could a person love and respect me and swear this way we in my presence at the same time.

I felt mixed emotions, extreme unease and discomfort. I thought that was sick.

Even thinking of it now, I feel very bad, when I remember those instances.

When they saw me, they’d apologize for their bad words around me.

But the next day the same would happen and I felt very bad, I haven’t remembered it for a long time, I just remembered it and I felt very bad.

I did not know those memories would awaken such upset feelings in me.

I remember sometimes I would even get teary eyes because of discomfort I felt.

Is it normal I felt such discomfort even though these words weren’t addressed to me?

[Anonymous]

I was raised in a way that we shouldn't say bad words and bad words shouldn't be said around us.

my brother had a baby and with that first baby they did pretty much the same.

fast forward 14 years now they have another one he is 3 years old and his mom purposely teaches him bad words and curses at him in both English and Spanish and will repeat the words until he gives a reaction and says it back. sometimes she will record him and he won't want to say them and he's there recording and recording and recording until he says it. she thinks nobody is looking but I caught her a bunch of times. It bothers me a lot because she's making him this way on purpose. children only know what they are taught and they are around of. She calls him a "pendejo imbecile"in Spanish and "you little shit" "fuck you" "bitch" "chingate pues" which means "fuck yourself then" .. and the times he repeats it or says it she laughs a lot, then when people come over and he uses those words that she purposely taught him, she will scream at him, scold him or hit him, that's so maddening why the fuck does she do that for?

he's also starting to be very disrespectful toward my parents and all of us in general, and I can't even be mad with him because that's how she's teaching him and then she wants to tell the world that he's a demon because he's so awful , but he's not awful he used to be patient and very polite and thankful for everything, but after she has him a couple of days he becomes this disrespectful bad mouthed disobedient child and I'm not sure why she does it really and wants to say that her other son is an "angel" , while it's pretty much reversed.

we never taught the other child to be rude, disrespectful or bad mannered and when he plays with other kids he will literally tell him to go kill themselves, go suck his dick or to go fuck him and he won't stop them for 5 minutes and stuff along those lines like that, it's very disturbing.

I don't know if the mom does it for attention or just wants to fit the notion of the second kid being the bad kid as most people say.

he is a trouble maker for sure, but it doesn't mean he has to be rude and disrespectful, that's different and that's something that is taught. anyone with common sense would know she's full of shit when she complains about it, because she's the one making him that way trying to say he's "just that way on his own" it's gonna be sad when he starts school because how can he show respect when his own mom is teaching him to be awful.

many times I want to say something but I have to stop myself because I know the answer "he's MY KID and I can do WHATEVER I WANT" type of remark. I wish people would see what I see she's doing to him.

[DB1973]

Good Points you made in your opening explanation of what you are talking about. Many times swearing is used to express anger and frustration. No matter the word children ages 5-12 have a VERY sponge like brain and anger from an adult produces anxiety in them that no one understands including the child until that child becomes a teen and young adult to process the moment (s) in time. Even if the parent/adult does not swear it still produces those. That being said, using swear words cements in those moments in time due to the anger with verbiage. That age soaks in those words to use for expression of anger or frustrations. The problem is that age does not comprehend a filter or discernment of when, where and to whom they are used for.
I sadly lost my temper when my sons were in those prime ages and many of the good things I was trying to instill in their lives got lost due to how I handled the words I said and actions I decided on. I didn't start swearing around my children until they were 13 and up but I also came to grips with myself of how I had spoken to them and had actions towards them that did not encourage nurturing of good roots in the past. I haven't used swear words in anger towards since. I currently have really good relationships with my boys but I also got a taste of my own medicine when my youngest went through a very tough time and started using swear wording in anger 5 years ago. That was part of my turnaround and look in the mirror moments in parenting.

[BoopBoopBeep]

At a prior job, we'd have... very tense interpersonal situations. Sometimes there'd be yelling. A few times somebody may have gotten smacked for mouthing off. Shockingly it wasn't always me. Anyway, I can count on one hand the number of times I cursed, even when delivering mild violence unto someone. That said, on the rare occasions I DID curse, people knew that it was no longer time to play FAFO.

It's actually known colloquially as "MF'ing (not abbreviated) someone". Everybody acts like they didn't understand the instruction or they got confused or they wanna play word games and "i got you on a technicality" and I've seen people who were conversing in perfect English be all kinds of "my... my English... i no speak is good. No understanding you."... It's like you don't talk like that... what is this?

I say all this to say, "MF (not abbreviated) GET DOWN ON THE GROUND" people understand, and I know it's understood just fine in at least a dozen countries.

Nobody wants to play FAFO anymore, and at that point you can usually get back to your occasionally heated exchange of ideas and opinions with more focus on the matter at hand.

I suppose what I mean to say is, there's a time and a place for it.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I agree.

Cursing in Georgia, can be extremely graphic.

Not just some curse words, they curse in a very graphic way.

Which I think made it all much more worse,

As for me they were a man who I thought loved and respected me and then I’d hear him curse in the most graphic way, in my presence, forgetting me totally and only apologizing later on, when he’d see me.

Thankfully, in my past relationship, my ex has never said a curse word and I feel good about the fact that I never had to listen to such words anymore after I left home.

The person who was cursing, has changed and no longer does so, but it did feel very inappropriate at that time.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

That’s why I loved staying in my grandparents village during the summer. That was the only place on Earth, where nobody shouted, nobody cursed, it was an emotional heaven for me.

And even though my home is in Tbilisi, when thinking of home I remember the village of my grandparents.

I am grateful to my grandfather for setting an example of what a man should be like.

He was peaceful and harmonious, would never let anything disturb the peace of his house and it felt very good to be there.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Sounds like a great man. Having a peaceful house is truly one of the unsung blessings in life. And that's coming from someone who has made a life out of war, so that says a lot.

[Summeroflove]

It just depends. How often the words are said, what words are said, and how they’re said.

If someone is using words like “whore” around kids. Probably not. But the occasional swear word honestly they probably hear worse from other kids

[Naruse]

Yeah? I guess it depends on your upbringing. Personally I always felt indignant over social norms pertaining to foul language. Who decides what is a swear word? Why do we have punishments for people who have the gall to make the wrong noises with their moutholes. It just seems ridiculous to me that there are people who would rather see their kid kick someone's head in than hear them swear.

[NathanDavis]

swearing and cursing while fighting yes... it can do so very much, I've witnessed it

however, in many households there's those who often do swear but they're doing it casually, and even to be affectionate with one another... lol

I've seen that too and there's no negativity to it... familiarity, that is

[Joshydavid25]

It was most likely the context of the swearing that probably got you most upset.. In the end, yeah I would say it could definitely negatively affect a child hearing their parents throw words up like a filthy sailor..

[RavVid]

I think it does. Adults mostly swear when they are angry and I think it is the anger that has the effect.

[TonyMetal___86]

Saying bad words is something awful but you can't prevent people from cussing, especially if it's not adressed to you...
Why all this drama? 😏
It's just words, sometimes i person might cuss because of his bad financial status, nothing personal!

[Still-alive]

Just hearing swear words isn’t enough its more like the underlying anger being expressed in an unhealthy way that is the bigger contributor

[love_conquers_lust]

I’m trying to cut back for my niece and nephew’s sake. Typically we’re good about shielding them, but slips occur. I want their vocabulary to be broader and varied. I need to start setting a better example.

[JacobJordan]

far better ways to express oneself than with curse words it also definitely has a negative impact on children

[Jmmmfi4]

PROBABLY. ... THATS WHY I DON'T IN FRONT OF MY NIECES

[bededazzle]

nah cuz it happens a lot in my friends’ latin families and they are some of the coolest people ever

[DaBiggestBird]

If they’re the kind of people who end every coherent sentence with “n*gger” then yes that is a problem.

[Guido]

It certainly teaches them bad habits. If it's ok for you, it's oknfor them. They will learn it soon enough in school but will refrain from it more if you set a good example.

[AngryCarl2]

No, but don't swear in front of a child and then tell them off for swearing.

[SUMAIREBRAHIM]

I don't know 😶 to be honest
And i think swearing should be avoided

[RedInnocent68]

Not necessarily, if it’s not directed at them.

[collie22]

That can't e good at all

[Fuentes]

Maybe I don't know lol

[Iron_Man]

Yes, I do

[eagle1951]

some yes