Am I being erratic and irrational?

[Unic0rn]

My sister started seeing this guy that she used to date In college. She dated him briefly in college but they broke up because he was already involved with an acquaintance of hers. He then left the school. They went their separate ways and since the she dated 5 other terrible men got married to one, had a child and divorced him. He kept reaching out to her via dms ever since with her ignoring him. He also met and married a woman 27 years older than him. 6 years later, they reunite and start dating again however, this time I am also around to see who this person is. So we three have been hanging out and I noticed some odd things about this guy. First of all he does subtle violent things like pulling my hair as a joke, squeezing my sister’s hands because she disagreed with him “as a joke” again of course, embarrassing me in public because I coughed after smoking basically getting angry and saying that I am wasting his weed, telling me that I should not tell anyone and handle things maturely when his friend tried to sexually molest me. Dropping my sister off at a mall halfway instead of dropping her home because he said he had to pay his workers. The worst one of all is that we all smoked some weed one night and before then he said that I shouldn’t do this with anyone else that they may try to rape me and he is my brother but when he got high he was touching me in inappropriate places in front of my sister and I resisted each time he touched me and she was mad at him and left the house. He first of all blamed her for ruining the vibe but when the drugs wore off he apologized and cried. I don’t think I will ever forgive him, I have distanced myself from him and I have blocked him on every social media platform. My sister however is still at his place and I don’t think this guy is good for her. He called me and I yelled at him to never call me again. I don’t want to reconnect with him but my sister is asking me to. Am I being erratic and childish in my reaction?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You’re not being erratic and childish and it sounds like if you genuinely feel like this guy is a piece of shit you have 2 options:


Option 1: You cut off this guy as well as your sister, making it clear that you want nothing to do with him or her as long as they’re together.


Option 2: you tell your sister you will not see her if he’s going to be there as well, keep up contact with her and continue talking to her just so she has a way out of the relationship if you believe it’s only going to go south.

[laly520]

she will wake up to truth a bit late

u dont have much to do anyway since its her life

[boggboss]

No your sister is completing her track record of shitty guys it won't be long till things get worst if he is going to touch u when your sister is their he would definitely try fucking u just keep contact cut for your own safety

[Unic0rn]

He has said that he had no interest in fucking me and we have hung out a few times and he didn’t fuck it and this time, it was the drugs that made him do it. I am so done with him and I have tried to make my sister see that this guy isn’t good for her but I cannot force my sister to leave him if she doesn’t want to she’s an adult

[boggboss]

Just because he hasn't done it yet don't mean it won't happened and no drugs can't be blamed for his actions the same way let's say when he was high he slapped your sister we couldn't excuse it on drugs

[BoopBoopBeep]

Only thing erratic and irrational is how much you stuck around after this guy made it pretty obvious that he's trash.

[Unic0rn]

Yep you are right. My gut instinct initially told me that this guy was trash and I told my sister but she told me that I am not being fair to him and I should give him a fair chance which I did and he kept fucking up so I am actually done with him

[BoopBoopBeep]

Always remember you don't have to give anybody "a fair chance" after they give you bad vibes. I'm not asking the guy breaking in through my window to go knock on the door next time, I'm putting a round through his head and going back to bed.

[Unic0rn]

I just want him to leave me and my sister alone but my sister has to make that call for her part.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@Unic0rn
Hear ya, but she's an adult and presumably not mentally challenged. People need to fail in life sometimes so they can learn from it. Hopefully it'll happen early and softly.

[Unic0rn]

How many times will she fail. She has been through 5 shitty men already. She married one and he divorced her and he is barely in their child’s life

[Unic0rn]

I hope she learns early

[BoopBoopBeep]

Well then, respectfully, you're not likely to make her suddenly un-stupid through any amount of action on your part, so might as well just not subject yourself to his trashy behavior and chalk your sister up as a constant relationship dumpster fire