Are you entitled to clean up after your friend/roommate?

[Anonymous]

My friend and I become roommates due to connivence. We used to like each other but he wasn’t ready for a relationship and I realize that I didn’t need to be in one. Saturdays he invites two of our friends over. I get off work and is usually home by 10:30pm. Due to it being late and my social battery drained, I literally hop on my game until our friends leave to decompress after the hectic day. We live in a tiny studio. He and our friends were drinking so naturally there’s beer cans, beer bottles and a wine bottle/glasses out. I was handed one drink to finish before they left and that was it. My roommate came back after dropping them off and asked why I didn’t at least put the foldable table away. I responded with, “it’s not my mess and I don’t want to clean up after you.” I cleaned the single glass I drank out of. My roommate is pretty messy whereas I’m extremely neat. I’m tired of always picking up after him and our friends once they leave. Nearly every time we have company in the one cleaning up. On a rare occasion, one of my friends will do the dishes. Even without company, he barely cleans. I went a month without sweeping or mopping to see if he’d do anything, he’s only sweep if he dropped food in the floor and utterly hates mopping. Am I wrong for not helping clean?

Updates

1 mo

We’ve talked about cleaning before. We sat down and had multiple discussions and he tells me that he does things on his own time. Last time we talked, I drafted up days we could clean which is Wednesdays and Sundays. Yeah, it’s been about two, three weeks and barely any change. He’s gotten better at doing the dishes every night, so he gets a cookie lol

[rosemilk]

you were not even around them. he was the one who set it all up. he should be the one to put everything back away. not your fault and not your problem.

i have an idea. start collecting like... a cleaning tax. each time he doesn't clean something of his up or something you asked for help cleaning up, add it on to his portion of the rent that he has to pay. see how that works out

[Cherry189]

It sounds like you are handling a child who refuses to clean, he does the dishes so he gets a cookie?
I'm not trying to be mean but that's awful, a full grown man can't clean up when he sees mess?

[Lynx122]

You have to have a talk about it and make it clear you don't like that he never cleans and you expect him to do more.

[LonerInLife]

Are you able to move out? Maybe another suggestion, collect the rubbish and throw it in their room. Tell them you will continue to throw the rubbish in there if they don’t clean.