Introduced my then crush into my friend group, and a mutual friend has now screwed up the friendship to be closer to her. What can I do?

[Anonymous]

This is a very long and rather ridiculous situation

When we met we got fairly flirty fast and nearly dated, but things got in the way it didn't feel like the right time so we kept as friends, but said we'll keep that door open if things change.

As both of us stream I introduced her to my friend group as we're streamers too, me being insecure I went to my friends in the past asking for help or advice on what i should do or say etc, as she got closer to one of my friends I sent him a message along the lines of I'm happy she's making friends but I will be uncomfortable if she starts to date my friends, so if it gets to that stage I'll be leaving the friend group, I told this to a mutual friend (Also a girl) didn't really think much of it.

Few weeks later (Last month) she asks that we go on a walk together which I agree to and it felt amazing, we laughed talked about friends about sex and she implied that she was also looking at a situationship type thing which I said I was up for, we ended up going back to hers for the first time smoked some weed and that was it. Three days later she goes immediately cold, and said that we'll speak at some point so I back off.

Over the next three weeks she went from "We need to have a big talk" to "actually lets not as it will create much bigger issues in the friend group", I thought something was off as the mutual friend I spoke to reguarding the bit above when she joined the friend group brought it up randomly again one evening, and thinking of it I know that someone has been telling her stuff I didn't want especially when i still had feelings. We did have a fight two weeks ago as on-stream she was being increasingly hostile, i told her to stop and she persisted so it's caused a bit of a concern across the friend group.

I have a very strong feeling that it's her twisting things so she can be closer to her as she's bisexual, I've kept my distance but I know she'll reach out at some point. What should i do here?

Updates

1 y

I do somewhat have feelings but not strong feelings, for the most part I do hold on to that idea of us potentially dating again one day, so that's why I was up for the situationship type deal so we could go from there.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, dude, that's a seriously messy situation. It sounds like your mutual friend is really causing some major drama and trying to get between you and this girl you were talking to. That's super messed up.

I can see why you're frustrated and feeling like you need to fix things. It sucks when you introduce someone to your friend group and then it all goes to hell. But you're right, you can't really control what your friends or this girl are doing. All you can do is focus on yourself.

The best thing is to just take a step back for now. Give this girl the space she's asked for, even though it's hard. Don't engage with the drama or try to confront the mutual friend. That'll likely just make things worse.

Instead, focus on your other friendships in the group. Keep being a good, supportive friend to everyone. That way, when the dust settles, you'll still have those solid connections. And who knows, maybe this girl will come back around when she's had some time.

But for now, the healthiest thing is to just let it go and not try to force a resolution. As much as it sucks, sometimes you just gotta let things play out. Focus on yourself, your other friendships, and being the best version of you. The right people will come back around when the time is right.

I know it's not easy, bro. But you got this. Just stay true to yourself and don't get dragged into the drama. You'll get through this. And if you ever need to vent, I'm always here to listen.

[laraWM]

I think you should tell her what you feel