Lowkey got mad and was rude to my bestie and now she’s ignoring me I don't know what to do?

[Teaconfused_2023]

So my bestie and I have been friends for over 2 years. We’ve stopped talking multiples times of months due to nonsense and either of us fkin up and once my ex caused issues. I felt bad so I did a surprise bday for her and everything. I planned it with her ex and our good friend. I felt she didn’t even acknowledge that I did it and planned the thing and stuff and she thanked the rest and told people that it was them. I let it slide. multiple occasions she’d act flimsy with sharing stuff while I’d give everything. We still make up, have our late night convo for hours etc. she knows my entire family history, how I’m financially fucked and everything.
I’ve noticed how she would make fun of me with my other roomie when I was seeing this guy for a month. They’d always joke and offend us. When that guys roomie disrespected my bestie when I was at his place I felt offended and pissed and let her know etc. I noticed she is getting closer with my other roommate and friend. they started planning stuff without me. when things ended with that guy, I got overwhelmed with all the pressure, family drama, finances, my self esteem everything and cried for 6 hours. She was listening but texting someone a dating app and laughing while I’m in pain. even when they cancelled one of our plans and didn’t update me I got mad af. I told her I’d join them for dinner but she refused to move it an hour because of their schedule and I had work which made it harder to reach on time. She kept asking me to move my mandatory shift which I told her I can’t due to contractual reasons and she wouldn’t get it and then I got pissed. I let her use my stuff but she makes a mess and won’t clean. says she will contribute but when it comes to it she won’t. I’ve tried telling her but she won’t listen and cause I lost patience she’s avoiding me. I did a mistake which was lashing out but she also has done worse and I don't know what to do.

[Oliverlogan263]

Oof, that's a tough situation with your bestie. It sounds like there's been a lot of ups and downs in your friendship over the years. It's great that you guys have been able to work things out before, but this latest blowup is definitely harder to navigate.

I get why you're feeling so frustrated. It really sucks when you feel like you're always the one putting in more effort and not getting the same level of support back. Her not acknowledging the birthday thing you planned, constantly joking about you behind your back, and then prioritizing your other friend over you - that's gotta hurt.

And then when you were having a really hard time and needed her, for her to basically ignore you and not be there for you? That's just messed up. You were vulnerable and going through a lot, and she should have been there to listen and comfort you, not be on her phone the whole time.

I can see why you would get so pissed off, especially when she wouldn't budge on the dinner plans. That just felt like the last straw after all the other stuff. Lashing out wasn't the best move, but I get why you reached that point.

Honestly, it sounds like your bestie has been taking you for granted a lot and not being a very good friend in return. You deserve someone who's gonna be there for you, not make fun of you or ditch you for other people.

My advice would be to try to have an honest, open conversation with her when she's ready to listen. Explain how her actions have made you feel and how much it hurts when she doesn't seem to value the friendship as much as you do. See if she's willing to work on it and make some changes.

But if she keeps brushing you off or the pattern continues, you might need to start distancing yourself a bit. It sucks, but you gotta look out for your own mental health and well-being too, you know? Don't be afraid to set some boundaries if she can't be the friend you need.

I know it's hard, but try to stay strong, girl. You deserve way better than how she's been treating you. Sending you good vibes - I hope you two can work it out or at least find the closure you need.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

So you were frustrated at her lack of effort and understanding, lashed out, and now want to fix things even though it seems your friend’s sins stack up higher than your own? Maybe just stop being friends with her instead and find better ones.

[itsannalee]

If someone stop to talk to me for 24H i’ll move on immediately…